Teenagers

[bluedonner]

Ladies,

My youngest daughter is 12 (soon to be 13 in a few months). Lately, it seems like having a conversation with her leaves me shaking my head (like, what was THAT about). Not to mention that suddenly I feel like everything I do (not to mention, say) is wrong, wrong wrong.

I know the teen years can be tough. Anyone got any suggestions on how to keep my sanity?

YSIC,
Bluedonner

[Sing4Him]

Keep her in the word of God. Talk about Jesus daily. Tell her you love her so much. Compliment the good things she does.. esp. things such as kindness, mercy, longsuffering.. any of the fruits..
Compliment a "beautiful smile" instead of just beauty.

Go into her room and "hang out" on her bed and talk and laugh.

Go out and do something 'just you 2" every once and a while.

Keep your boundaries. When you say no, stick with it.


You'll keep your sanity.. it is a wonderful time. I wish I could do it all over again. enjoy this..

Show her how wonderful the Lord is in what you see and read in His word.

Hugs hugs, kisses..let her know even some concern.. whether silly in your mind, is a concern of yours.

PRAY FOR HER! ( and yourself too)

[tigger]

Ladies,

My youngest daughter is 12 (soon to be 13 in a few months). Lately, it seems like having a conversation with her leaves me shaking my head (like, what was THAT about). Not to mention that suddenly I feel like everything I do (not to mention, say) is wrong, wrong wrong.

I know the teen years can be tough. Anyone got any suggestions on how to keep my sanity?

YSIC,
Bluedonner

Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. remember this too shall pass. She's caught between wanting to assert her independence and still needing mommy. She thinks she's all grown up and ready to do her own thing but in realty is not quite ready to. Pray a lot and try not to take it to personally. That doesn't mean to let her get away with being disrespectful to you or breaking the rules but realize it's not about you but the internal struggle within her. It wont be easy but you will get thru it. And remember, you can always come here to vent and/or get support.:hug

[Sparkles]

Now is you time to really stick to your guns. I am right thewre with you. Mine are 10 and 12 both girls. I have become sticter than ever. No means No means No. Its hard sometimes but It will be worth it in the long run \
This is what my face looks like after I talk to my 12 yr old :ohno

[Kathe]

Hold your ground no matter what. I've just had 2 of my kids in early 20's come to me and thank me for holding my ground when they were teens. Said that they were very thankful I didn't give in like their friends parents did.

Kathe

[jadeeyes]

I remember my daughter being thoroughly ticked off 'cause none of her friends had stay at home moms who stuck their noses into their kids' business all the time and had to always know where their kids were, what they were doing and who they were with. It's important to remember that she should have friends close to her own age, but you need to be mom instead of friend. When you tell her you aren't her friend, she'll probably roll her eyes and think, "good, 'cause I wouldn't want a friend like you." As was already mentioned, this too shall pass. My daughter and I had a lot of fun during her teen and preteen years, but we also had times when I had to clearly draw the boundry lines and demand that she show me respect and obey me whether she felt liked it or not. Nowadays, she has 4 kids of her own and 3 of them are girls. She and I are fast friends and she tells me that she's grateful she had a stay at home mom who always had her nose stuck in her business and always had to know where she was, what she was doing and who she was with. Kept her out of a lot of trouble, she says, and that was the whole point.BTW, she's a stay at home mom in the tradition of her mom and her 10 year old daughter is none too thrilled about it.:lol2

[bluedonner]

Well tonight was not the mostpleasant. My daughter (the 12 yr old) yelled at my because she has to go to day camp tomorrow which she says she hates. I had signed her up for it because it sounded fun (swimming, activities, etc). but she doesn't like it. I guess she thinks she should be able to stay home all day unsupervised while I am at work - NOT gonna happen. So she yelled at me and told me she hates me. However, I kept my cool and did not yell back. Please pray for me that I continue to respond in a loving way ... I know this is a phase but it sure can be disheartening sometimes.

Thank you all for your thoughts and support.

YSIC,
Bluedonner

[ImHis]

Been there, done that. I don't feel that I can give you any good advice. I'm still shaky from my own experience, however, don't judge yours by mine. Every child is different. Its much too soon for me to be self-assured about my experience with raising a teen, as one was literally JUST dropped off at college (which is God's miracle in & of itself) :scratch over the weekend and the other is still home.

I still have a bad taste in my mouth about our experiences and can't give any excellent advice as I handled the situation wrong (like this :panic ) many, many times!

What I can say, is Lean not to your own understanding...stay on your knees (in prayer - a good book is Power of a Praying Parent by Stormie Omartian)...stay in & keep them in a Biblically-sound church...get other supportive Christian mothers & friends on your team....lead her by example....talk less and listen more.... :candle

May God bless you in this endeavor (raising teens to adulthood) & you also need :bighug

[luvjc]

I totally agree with above posters.

I have a 15 year old son and a 12 y.o. daughter. She's very pleasant and a good child. In the last few months, she has started to roll her eyes and give "the sigh" when I ask her to do things, etc.... When she does this, I explain to her that I will NOT be disrespected and for showing an attitude about having to do something, she is given extra work (not much extra - but some). She has to know we all have things we have to do even when we don't want to.

Hold your ground, be firm and consistent and shower her with love. Let her know daily that you love her and make time for her. Keep her involved in growing in the Lord. :hug

God bless!

[ninesixteen]

BlueDonner-

My daughter is also 12 and will be 13 next month. I feel your pain. The attitude sometimes is trying. I think every relationship is different but I always try to keep my daughter close, I want to hear what she has to say even if its something that makes me cringe. In these times, our children are being attacked earlier on than I ever remember, so its important to talk. My mom made the mistake with me to shut any conversation down that dealt with things she just wanted to go away, I keep the lines of communication open with my daughter and she tells me more than I ever wanted to know about the things that are goingon in her school, with her friends or people that she is around, etc. But it allows me to talk to her and not AT HER about what different actions may lead to in any circumstance.

I agree with what a lot have said on here, you have to stand your ground, don't step back from your beliefs in order to keep the relationship sane. Good luck to you! I think we should start a "help a parent of a 13 year old"" support group! :)

I'll be praying.