~ Children In Heaven ~ 2 Cor 1:3-4

[jayna]

You're not the odd one out, I feel the same way, too. In all of my life, almost 50 years, I can only remember two periods in my life where I was happy: when I was a pre-schooler at home with my mom and when I was an at-home mom with Amanda. I so looked forward to her coming home from school every day. She brought happiness in the door with her. Now that's gone forever. I will never on this earth hold that happiness again and the loss is too great to bear. When people tell me that I "need to be happy because she would want me to be." They don't know anything about our relationship and have no right to tell me that. I think Amanda understands why I feel the way I do and would want me to do the best that I could. She wouldn't insist that I pretend to be happy just to please others.

:hug:hug So glad I'm not alone in feeling this way but so sorry you have to feel the same way!! Anyway, I think we are suppose to long for heaven.... I don't think we're suppose to get comfortable here and want to stay here forever. We may have to (God forbid) but I think we're suppose to pray for Jesus to return not wish for a long happy life here. I'm ready to get on with the good stuff and as far as I can tell that ain't here!!!!! :hehee

[Amanda's mom]

:hug:hug So glad I'm not alone in feeling this way but so sorry you have to feel the same way!! Anyway, I think we are suppose to long for heaven.... I don't think we're suppose to get comfortable here and want to stay here forever. We may have to (God forbid) but I think we're suppose to pray for Jesus to return not wish for a long happy life here. I'm ready to get on with the good stuff and as far as I can tell that ain't here!!!!! :hehee

I agree 100%. Come sweet Lord Jesus and take us home. We long for you and for our families.

[ihope]

When people tell me that I "need to be happy because she would want me to be." They don't know anything about our relationship and have no right to tell me that. I think Amanda understands why I feel the way I do and would want me to do the best that I could. She wouldn't insist that I pretend to be happy just to please others.

You know what sister? I think your Amanda DOES understand...I also was thinking today when I was out riding ; I was thinking of a couple of things. One, I told myself when Erica died that everyday that passed I would always be the woman that she would be proud of! Believe me it is not easy! I get up, take a shower put my makeup on and Jesus and I begin my day. However, there isn't a day that goes by that I don't ask Jesus to bring me home...take ME not an innocent child. If it be possible to save another by taking me I am soooo willing. This gets me thinking about all the tragedies I read about. Today for instance...today there were probably children that lost their lives....my thoughts keep going. Then I was thinking about communion in church today...He said to do this in remembrance of Him....we Honor Him...just like we need to honor our children. People see you as SPECIAL...I've gotten that impression myself and I'm new here...you're Special and have a SPECIAL AMANDA living in Heaven. Like you I believe Jesus could come any day...or we could be taken home to be with Him. Tonight, tomorrow, this week, the next.... :hug :hug :hug

[Amanda's mom]

You know what sister? I think your Amanda DOES understand...I also was thinking today when I was out riding ; I was thinking of a couple of things. One, I told myself when Erica died that everyday that passed I would always be the woman that she would be proud of! Believe me it is not easy! I get up, take a shower put my makeup on and Jesus and I begin my day. However, there isn't a day that goes by that I don't ask Jesus to bring me home...take ME not an innocent child. If it be possible to save another by taking me I am soooo willing. This gets me thinking about all the tragedies I read about. Today for instance...today there were probably children that lost their lives....my thoughts keep going. Then I was thinking about communion in church today...He said to do this in remembrance of Him....we Honor Him...just like we need to honor our children. People see you as SPECIAL...I've gotten that impression myself and I'm new here...you're Special and have a SPECIAL AMANDA living in Heaven. Like you I believe Jesus could come any day...or we could be taken home to be with Him. Tonight, tomorrow, this week, the next.... :hug :hug :hug

Ihurt, thank you for thinking that I am special, but I'm really just an ordinary person who's nothing more special than anyone else. Now Amanda was very special. I felt her love long before she was born and I felt it until the day she died. I believe I still feel her love for me even from heaven. Her love was very deep, very innocent, and very true. A pure love and not just for me but for everyone she knew. Maybe I can achieve being half the person that she was some day.

[ihope]

i think you already have...

[ihope]

I know what it's like to lose an 18 year old son, but I don't know what it's like to lose a 12 year old daughter like she did.

I just don't want people to forget Ricky.

Ok sweetie here it goes....when I was going to Grief Share my husband and I were the only ones who lost a child. There were mostly widows there. When the widows would share, I could FEEL their pain, but they all said that their pain couldn't compare to losing a child. I didn't want to go through a group like that so I told them all that our loss is all the same. Could any of us cry any harder than we do? Could any of us feel any more heartbroken? The answer is NO. Anyone who experiences a loss feels immense pain. Until you go through it yourself you just don't understand....after that there were many wonderful bonds made and everyone shared from their heart...very healing!

Next, people will NOT forget about Ricky! I thought the same thing about my 16 year old daughter...that people would just go on and forget. I'm learning that it doesn't work that way...when young people grow up and move away and develop different lives and then reunite after say 10 years...some memories are lost. IMHO I believe that when a young person is taken away those around CAN'T forget...does that make sense?

Envelop yourself in His Love and in His Promises...It's in His Hope that we get our strength huh? Love You! :hug:hug:pray

[jayna]

i think you already have...

I think so too!! :)

[nannyto3]

I know what Sarah wants me to do. She wants me to go on with my life and be happy in spite of her death. I sure don't want her to grab me first thing in Heaven and say "Mom, what have you been doing, you know where I have been". She loved life and she would want me happy. I also know that it is God who holds the keys to life and death, her murder was no suprise to Him. So I go on. I have my bad days and then I have good days and even great days. It is because of Sarah that I do as well as I do and it is because of my Lord because I know when Sarah was murdered he was right there. It is hard it is so very hard. I can't wait to see her smiling face again!!

[Amanda's mom]

I know what Sarah wants me to do. She wants me to go on with my life and be happy in spite of her death. I sure don't want her to grab me first thing in Heaven and say "Mom, what have you been doing, you know where I have been". She loved life and she would want me happy. I also know that it is God who holds the keys to life and death, her murder was no suprise to Him. So I go on. I have my bad days and then I have good days and even great days. It is because of Sarah that I do as well as I do and it is because of my Lord because I know when Sarah was murdered he was right there. It is hard it is so very hard. I can't wait to see her smiling face again!!

:hug

[Lynn]

It hurts so much to know that you've been through this kind of pain, but your sweet spirit manages to 'smile' through each of your posts, and inspire us. :)