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bubbaganoosh
March 12th, 2011, 11:04 AM
a bit of my testimony...

i've recently felt God calling me back to him in a powerfull way. for the last few years, i had been living apart from God. i was divorced, partying, living a sinful lifestyle. then i met someone. we began dating. and even then, i knew she was an unbeliever and i brought it up to her- but the truth was, it didn't bother me. i don't mean her salvation wasn't important, just that i wouldn't let it stop us from dating. eventually, we moved in together. fast forward 2 1/2 years into the relationship and i suddenly felt the Holy Spirit convicting me. hard. and i began to pray. i repented and begged the Lord to open my g/f eyes to the truth. i pleaded with him to move in my life- to show me the way. i prayed that no matter what, i would submit to his will. and when i thought everything was going great, she decided to break up with me. just like that. it's a very odd thing. total blindside.

so i guess... becareful what you pray for. like humility. i never pray for God to humble me. i work on it myself 'cause i may not like how God wants to do it. not that that would stop him.

so have i just prayed myself out of a sinful relationship and into solitary? i feel like my guts have been ripped out.

but there's a small part of me that wants to shake my fist at God and say, "HAH! you really got me good! waaay to go!"

i have no doubt that this is the right thing to do but wow- it really hurts bad. and the way i see it, i'm on the wrong side of 30 with 2 failed marriages and back out on my own. perhaps i need to give up on all of that nonsense and immerse myself in the Word.

:idunno

sunshine2777
March 12th, 2011, 11:29 AM
a bit of my testimony...

i've recently felt God calling me back to him in a powerfull way. for the last few years, i had been living apart from God. i was divorced, partying, living a sinful lifestyle. then i met someone. we began dating. and even then, i knew she was an unbeliever and i brought it up to her- but the truth was, it didn't bother me. i don't mean her salvation wasn't important, just that i wouldn't let it stop us from dating. eventually, we moved in together. fast forward 2 1/2 years into the relationship and i suddenly felt the Holy Spirit convicting me. hard. and i began to pray. i repented and begged the Lord to open my g/f eyes to the truth. i pleaded with him to move in my life- to show me the way. i prayed that no matter what, i would submit to his will. and when i thought everything was going great, she decided to break up with me. just like that. it's a very odd thing. total blindside.

so i guess... becareful what you pray for. like humility. i never pray for God to humble me. i work on it myself 'cause i may not like how God wants to do it. not that that would stop him.

so have i just prayed myself out of a sinful relationship and into solitary? i feel like my guts have been ripped out.

but there's a small part of me that wants to shake my fist at God and say, "HAH! you really got me good! waaay to go!"

i have no doubt that this is the right thing to do but wow- it really hurts bad. and the way i see it, i'm on the wrong side of 30 with 2 failed marriages and back out on my own. perhaps i need to give up on all of that nonsense and immerse myself in the Word.

:idunno

He never lets His own go and He obviously drew you back to Himself. He actually blessed you and answered your prayer by causing her to break it off. He was protecting you at the same time. You never know what is down the road. I had Him do that many times and although it hurt like crazy, deep down I knew He was protecting me from going further with the wrong person. He was doing the same. So thank Him for that regardless of the pain in your heart.

If you are His, you are never in solitary. He is directing you into a new life. If you are saved you are a new creation and thus, need a New life so to speak. Dont run from it but embrace it. Make your mind up to truly accept what He does is best (Because He is perfect, knows the future, its His plan and because it is the best) Jeremiah 29:11! Do your best to stop focusing on you, on her on what you dont have and dig into what you do have and dig into Him through His word, by hanging around His people and hang on! He will bless you way beyond anything you have ever experienced. No, its not a cake walk... Jesus didnt have a cakewalk either.

Are you healthy? Do you have transporation and a roof over your head? A way to provide for yourself? Then get busy and involved in His work. He likely has a good woman in mind for you.. she may not even be saved yet... you never know... you just need to work on you... He'll bring her into your life when you both are ready. And when you get to feeling really lonely, tell Him about it. Not angry, but just let Him know.. He understands loneliness more than anyone of us. He was totally alone on that cross, not even His Father was with Him. He gets it.

Pray to be more like Jesus. That includes humility and patience. But if you study the meaning of love and forgiveness, wisdom and understanding, then the humility and patience can be learned in the process. He WILL give you times to test your faith, etc... but its only to show you where it is and that you need to grow in this are or that.

Also, get your eyes on eternity. This life is not all its cracked up to be and we are here for a purpose. Sure the normal blessings usually come with it but its not the focus. The focus is Him and Him in us and Him in us helping others. Only look back at your past to remember what NOT to do, to remember how He has helped you and then look forward. He's forgotten your sins... if you asked for His forgiveness... let them go and definitely let a worldly woman go. You have no clue how much light doesnt mix with darkness until you get unequally yoked and the hell on earth it can bring.

Hang in there. He is for you, not against you. and keep your focus. I pray something I have said might help you. I dont know. Just stuff I've learned along the way! God bless you brother... :pray :hug

TheKingsDaughter
March 12th, 2011, 11:45 AM
You can look up my old posts and see where I use to be. I was with a man that went to church and worked there, but he had been having an affair for 12 years?:twitch
How I didnt know was beyond me, so I was so confused, thinking God brought us together, because he got saved and joined church. We spent most of our life there, and then to just have my life destroyed by this nonsense? I was mad, at God, the world, everything, because I was a good wife, and did not deserve this. He left me financially ruined, but, even though I was angry, I didnt run from God, I stayed and lived day by day. Im still doing that. Two years later, Im doing better than I was, financially is still a struggle, and I have been "dating" a man that is not a christian, and Im getting tired of fighting the "worldly" things he is dealing with. This man knows God, and knows whats right, but fights it, and me all the way not to become a Christian because his reasoning is, he has to change his lifestyle? Well, what a small price to pay for the love of God and the life knowing your saved, and God is in control, not you.
God will bring someone into your life, and mine too, because I dont see mine working either, even though I do not want to go through it again, but know I can struggle through it with Gods help.
I wish I had more answers, but I dont, only God does. He loves me, even though Im broken, dealing with self esteem issues, health problems, and wondering "why" this always happens to me? That is the ultimate question you cannot find an answer for. You can ask it forever, and there is no answer, so dont kill yourself with it. God rules my life, and I have to trust into him totally for my daily life. He provides things for me when I dont know where it is going to come from. I have always lived that way, I will always do it till I go home.
I will pray for you, and you can pm me anytime. From someone thats been there, to someone still going through it, Im a great listener, and prayer warrior, so feel free if you need to talk, dont hesitate to do so. God bless you during this time of pain,.

sunshine2777
March 12th, 2011, 12:19 PM
That is the ultimate question you cannot find an answer for. You can ask it forever, and there is no answer, so dont kill yourself with it. .

But you can know some of the "whys" on this side of heaven KingsDaughter. No, He usually doesnt answer us right on the spot but as you grow in faith and knowledge of His Word, you gain understanding and many times you can look back at the things that we ask "why Lord" and actually the Holy Spirit will show you the answer.

I heard a very wise question from Charles Stanley once that really helped me many times... he said that instead of asking "why me?"... ask.. "why not me?"... I have been through hell and back on this earth, some of it my own doing and poor decision making, some of it sin, some of it the enemy, some of it due to other's choices. But I can have reached a point, that it has been so bad, that I would never want another person on this earth to go through what I have been through. So it might as well have been me. It's only God's grace (unmerited favor) that keeps us from being in someone else's shoes somewhere else... and I'm not talking about comfortable shoes. Its a matter of growth and faith.

Pray for wisdom and understanding as to why being unequally yoked is so harmful to us, in any situation, especially in a relationship. :hug

psalm62
March 12th, 2011, 12:33 PM
I am very stubborn. And God is working on that with me, but I have had to take a step back any time I have had the thought of "No. you are insane and I don't want to" and look back at the hard times in my life and how he always used them for something good.
When there is something that my flesh begs for and God says no, I focus on the fact that God is good and Satin is bad. It sounds elementary, but life is a temporary living situation, and praise God for that! Our true home is in Heaven, which is forever! My reason for living, your reason for living, is to worship the Lord and bring others to his glory.
He is going to use this situation you are in for something great. Maybe you will council another who is struggling with the same things. I can't tell you how many times God has brought people into my life to council and how many times he has put people into my life to council me. I thank God for this every day.
It's not easy being apart of this world. It's not easy to ignore the flesh and fallow the spirit. Satin is grabbing us at every angle he can and only God can protect you from him. We can't do it on our own.
God loves you and knows what is best for you.

I pray for you and her that you will be set free

bubbaganoosh
March 12th, 2011, 05:07 PM
thank you everyone for the words... i appreciate it.

Acts5:41
March 12th, 2011, 06:02 PM
God may very well want you to work on your issues before getting into a serious love relationship.

Both my husband and I were looking for love, but had submitted ourselves to God's will and told Him we would wait until he brought us the right person, no matter how long it took. We met not long afterward.

My husband was a very outgoing man; he loved party girls.
I am a stay-at-home type; I'm happy with a Value meal date.
The party girl wouldn't have helped him run the business, much less stayed after the accident! He helped bring me out of the shell.

We have been married for going on 19 years.

It's about submission to God's will. Many times (I am guilty of this too), we tend to take the attitude "Your Will be done, Lord. As long as it's the same as my will."

God knows far better than we do, what we need.

Isaiahsword
March 12th, 2011, 06:02 PM
He never lets His own go and He obviously drew you back to Himself. He actually blessed you and answered your prayer by causing her to break it off. He was protecting you at the same time. You never know what is down the road. I had Him do that many times and although it hurt like crazy, deep down I knew He was protecting me from going further with the wrong person. He was doing the same. So thank Him for that regardless of the pain in your heart.

If you are His, you are never in solitary. He is directing you into a new life. If you are saved you are a new creation and thus, need a New life so to speak. Dont run from it but embrace it. Make your mind up to truly accept what He does is best (Because He is perfect, knows the future, its His plan and because it is the best) Jeremiah 29:11! Do your best to stop focusing on you, on her on what you dont have and dig into what you do have and dig into Him through His word, by hanging around His people and hang on! He will bless you way beyond anything you have ever experienced. No, its not a cake walk... Jesus didnt have a cakewalk either.

Are you healthy? Do you have transporation and a roof over your head? A way to provide for yourself? Then get busy and involved in His work. He likely has a good woman in mind for you.. she may not even be saved yet... you never know... you just need to work on you... He'll bring her into your life when you both are ready. And when you get to feeling really lonely, tell Him about it. Not angry, but just let Him know.. He understands loneliness more than anyone of us. He was totally alone on that cross, not even His Father was with Him. He gets it.

Pray to be more like Jesus. That includes humility and patience. But if you study the meaning of love and forgiveness, wisdom and understanding, then the humility and patience can be learned in the process. He WILL give you times to test your faith, etc... but its only to show you where it is and that you need to grow in this are or that.

Also, get your eyes on eternity. This life is not all its cracked up to be and we are here for a purpose. Sure the normal blessings usually come with it but its not the focus. The focus is Him and Him in us and Him in us helping others. Only look back at your past to remember what NOT to do, to remember how He has helped you and then look forward. He's forgotten your sins... if you asked for His forgiveness... let them go and definitely let a worldly woman go. You have no clue how much light doesnt mix with darkness until you get unequally yoked and the hell on earth it can bring.

Hang in there. He is for you, not against you. and keep your focus. I pray something I have said might help you. I dont know. Just stuff I've learned along the way! God bless you brother... :pray :hug

Wow! This was an awesome awesome reply. You are very blessed. It helped me out too! Thank you :wave

antitox
March 13th, 2011, 11:51 AM
Here is something I've learned on this part of life: don't seek out a mate. Get on with your life and let God order your steps from here on.

Focus on living the way you know you are supposed to, stay single, go to church, and at some point along the way He will eventually bring the right people into your life that need to be there. Develop friendships, don't go out dating anyone, and just learn to live life by yourself in independence.
But if you seek out someone right now, don't be surprised when it goes bad.

It could be one year to 5 years being single, but if you don't get back to living your own life out and learning God's will, it'll be another trip around the mountain and the heart will be broken again. Believe me, I've made the mistakes.

luvalotbear
March 13th, 2011, 01:57 PM
This thread totally resonates with what's going on in my life now. I made a similar prayer request around Christmas and before New year's my 4+ year relationship was over. (We were due to get married this summer.)

It was really hard to suddenly be on my own. Right after the breakup, I was filled with loneliness and despair. I echo the sentiments of the previous posts. God has someone better for you in mind. It may be that you or she has to be in a different place in God's will for your life. A quote I read really stuck with me. Her rejection is God's protection. God has a great purpose and plan for your life. No matter what the situation, God's hand is upon it. Just like I've learned to be patient while waiting for the rapture, I'm learning patience in this area in my life as well. (Trust me when I say patience does not come easy to me.) Through it all, I've felt God's gentle tug drawing me closer to Him.)

:pray and :hug to you my brother.