Seemomgonuts
May 2nd, 2007, 07:01 PM
I have had a friend for a couple of years that up until a five months ago I was really close to. Our kids are friends, we live around the corner from each other, we go to the same church, and we homeschool in the same homeschool group.
Ever since she had her 4th child she has been really catty towards me. She is turning into a miserable person, negative and nothing is ever ok. This child was not planned, neither was their 3rd child. She seems bitter over this under the guise of I have 2 more kids than you do so I must trust God with my finances more than you do (they are flat broke). My DH got a vas 2 years ago because we knew we were done having kiddos.....our 2 are plenty, financially and otherwise. Somehow she confuses my only having 2 kids with not trusting God enough to just keep on having more than I can handle. What I call responsibility, she calls lack of faith.
She has been on this holier than thou kick with everything I do, if I get my nails done it is because I am not thrifty with my Hubby's money (Hubby sees it differently than her since I spend so very little on groceries and I homeschool, he has zero problem indulging me).
Since we go to the same church across town and gas is expensive we have been doing the "you drop off and I pick up" for wednesday night kids church. That is........up until recently. She got on this "I will do both pick up and drop off" kick for a while (with me agreeing but nervous about doing so). I found out a few weeks ago from her that "I am not doing my share". What? So I politely insisted that I go back to dropping off and have done so since. Tonight she calls and says "could you drop off and pick up tonight since I ALWAYS do both".
That was the final straw. I said ok and hung up. I have a big problem with the words always and never. That to me means that the times I did do it were for nothing because she magically forgot about it to put her bad mood off on me once again. I think it makes her feel better. I understand her life is more stressful than mine, but I am not to blame for her stress, nor do I apreciate it being directed towards me that I am the lesser friend. With the exception of that period of time I told you about, I have always done my fair share of driving. I treat her to dinner when she needs girl time, I lend her homeschool material, her kids play over here all the time so she can have a break but she will never have other kids at her house. I make her family lunch (nice spreads too) when they cannot afford it (5 of them not including the baby) I have never asked for thanks from her for anything I have done.....nor has she offered up thanks.
Sorry for the long read. I want to be friends with her but she is trying my patience. Do you have any advice for me? I have been praying about this and it seems to be getting worse. I want to tell her how I feel but I am afraid I will hurt her feelings. Do I just stop talking to her for a while? Avoiding her will be difficult but I can make it happen for a few months because of summer.
Ever since she had her 4th child she has been really catty towards me. She is turning into a miserable person, negative and nothing is ever ok. This child was not planned, neither was their 3rd child. She seems bitter over this under the guise of I have 2 more kids than you do so I must trust God with my finances more than you do (they are flat broke). My DH got a vas 2 years ago because we knew we were done having kiddos.....our 2 are plenty, financially and otherwise. Somehow she confuses my only having 2 kids with not trusting God enough to just keep on having more than I can handle. What I call responsibility, she calls lack of faith.
She has been on this holier than thou kick with everything I do, if I get my nails done it is because I am not thrifty with my Hubby's money (Hubby sees it differently than her since I spend so very little on groceries and I homeschool, he has zero problem indulging me).
Since we go to the same church across town and gas is expensive we have been doing the "you drop off and I pick up" for wednesday night kids church. That is........up until recently. She got on this "I will do both pick up and drop off" kick for a while (with me agreeing but nervous about doing so). I found out a few weeks ago from her that "I am not doing my share". What? So I politely insisted that I go back to dropping off and have done so since. Tonight she calls and says "could you drop off and pick up tonight since I ALWAYS do both".
That was the final straw. I said ok and hung up. I have a big problem with the words always and never. That to me means that the times I did do it were for nothing because she magically forgot about it to put her bad mood off on me once again. I think it makes her feel better. I understand her life is more stressful than mine, but I am not to blame for her stress, nor do I apreciate it being directed towards me that I am the lesser friend. With the exception of that period of time I told you about, I have always done my fair share of driving. I treat her to dinner when she needs girl time, I lend her homeschool material, her kids play over here all the time so she can have a break but she will never have other kids at her house. I make her family lunch (nice spreads too) when they cannot afford it (5 of them not including the baby) I have never asked for thanks from her for anything I have done.....nor has she offered up thanks.
Sorry for the long read. I want to be friends with her but she is trying my patience. Do you have any advice for me? I have been praying about this and it seems to be getting worse. I want to tell her how I feel but I am afraid I will hurt her feelings. Do I just stop talking to her for a while? Avoiding her will be difficult but I can make it happen for a few months because of summer.