Beth O
October 2nd, 2007, 11:36 AM
How are we doing ladies? This is a tall order, (to be a virtuous woman), although if we strive we could encourage our husbands to be the leaders that they are commanded to be.
THE VIRTUOUS WOMAN
October 2, 2007 (David Cloud, Fundamental Baptist Information
Service, P.O. Box 610368, Port Huron, MI 48061, 866-295-4143,
fbns@wayoflife.org; for instructions about subscribing and
unsubscribing or changing addresses, see the information paragraph at
the end of the article) -
The following is from the new Advanced Bible Studies Series on the
book of Proverbs, which is available from Way of Life Literature.
Proverbs 31:10-31
10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he
shall have no need of spoil.
12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.
14 She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.
15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her
household, and a portion to her maidens.
16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her
hands she planteth a vineyard.
17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.
18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not
out by night.
19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the
distaff.
20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth
her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her
household are clothed with scarlet.
22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and
purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the
elders of the land.
24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles
unto the merchant.
25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in
time to come.
26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law
of kindness.
27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the
bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also,
and he praiseth her.
29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.
30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth
the LORD, she shall be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise
her in the gates.
This book, which has warned frequently of the danger of the strange
woman and the foolish wife (e.g. Prov. 2:16-19; 5:3-14; 6:24-35;
7:5-27; 9:13-18; 11:22; 14:1; 21:9; 23:27-28; 25:24), concludes with
the glory of the virtuous wife.
It is a wonderful token of grace that this description of the
virtuous woman was written by Bathsheba (see the introduction to
Proverbs). She writes that the husband of the virtuous woman can
safely trust in her, yet she betrayed the trust of her first husband
by responding to David's sinful invitation. Of course she might have
put herself and her husband in jeopardy by refusing David's lust, but
she would have kept God's Law and maintained her honor. Yet God
forgave her sin and she became a prophetess of truth and
righteousness and a spokeswoman for virtue!
Bathsheba exhorts her son to find a virtuous woman. This was probably
taught to him as he was growing up. That he disobeyed his mother's
counsel resulted in his terrible backsliding and the loss of most of
the kingdom (1 Kings 11:1-13).
This lengthy description of the virtuous woman teaches us the immense
importance of the godly wife. She is mentioned in many passages of
the New Testament as well (Ephesians 5:22-33; Colossians 3:18; 1
Timothy 2:9-15; 3:11; Titus 2:3-5; 1 Peter 3:1-6). "And with good
reason is so much stress laid upon it, since it contributes as much
as any one thing to the keeping up of religion in families, and the
entail of it upon posterity, that the mothers be wise and good; and
of what consequence it is to the wealth and outward prosperity of a
house every one is sensible. He that will thrive must ask his wife
leave" (Matthew Henry). "In choosing a wife, fools will follow their
fancy, and the wise will act according to reason and the word of God"
(George Lawson).
In the Hebrew language Proverbs 31:10-31 is an acrostic. Each verse
begins with a different character in the Hebrew alphabet, beginning
with Aleph and ending with Tau. This facilitated memorization by
Jewish children.
1. THE VIRTUOUS WOMAN'S VALUE (Prov. 31:10)
She is worth more than precious jewels because she cannot be
purchased with money. Beauty can be bought, but virtue cannot. She is
worth more than precious jewels because of how valuable her faithful
labor is. It is possible to buy a house keeper, but it is not
possible to buy a woman who is dedicated to a man and his children
from her heart and who is committed to do them good all the days of
her life in every way possible, in sickness and in health, in poverty
and in wealth. The wise man will seek after such a woman.
Such a woman only comes from the Lord (Prov. 19:14). The man who
wants such a woman must walk with God and please God and patiently
seek her from His loving hand.
2. THE VIRTUOUS WOMAN'S DEPENDABILITY (Prov. 31:11-12)
She can be trusted by her husband because her first love is God. The
reason that she is in subjection to her husband is because she trusts
in God (1 Pet. 3:5). She is faithful to her husband because she fears
God and thus takes her marriage vows seriously.
She makes do with whatever her husband provides (Prov. 31:11). A
virtuous and wise woman can make a little go a long way, whereas the
foolish woman can waste even a large income. "Her management is so
skilful, industrious, and economic that her husband has no temptation
to go out of his way to do aught that is dishonest in order to
increase his resources. Many a husband has been prompted to deeds of
dishonesty through the indolence and extravagance of the partner of
his life" (Thomas).
She does good for her husband. She is not one who cares more about
her mother or a friend or some co-worker than her husband. Her heart
is set on him and on his welfare and pleasure. She takes her job as
an "help meet" seriously (Gen. 2:18).
She does him good all the days of her life. She takes her marital
vows of "in sickness and in health, till death do us part" seriously.
She does not allow her heart to become devoted to someone or
something else other than her husband, neither when she is young nor
when she is old. She does not do him good only once in awhile when
she is in the mood. Her heart is committed to doing him good and
being a proper help meet for him at all times and all of their lives.
"There is a wifely love that is fitful, capricious, passionate in its
endearments today, tomorrow cold, sulky, and sometimes splenetic;
this is not the love of a true wife, it is the love of a selfish
woman that seeks only her own gratification. Genuine wifely love
seeks the good of her husband, is constant as nature" (David Thomas).
The husband of the sensual and worldly woman, on the other hand,
cannot trust her. He cannot trust her not to give her heart to
another man. He cannot trust her to spend his money wisely. He cannot
trust her to keep his secrets. He cannot trust her to put him before
her friends and relatives. He cannot trust her to be doing what she
should be doing when he is not looking.
3. THE VIRTUOUS WOMAN'S LABOR (Prov. 31:13, 24-27)
Her labor is willing ("and worketh willingly with her hands," Prov.
31:13). She works because she wants to work. No one is standing over
her forcing her to work. It is a labor of love from her heart,
because she is committed to her God and to her family.
Her labor is diligent. Thirteen of the 22 verses describe her labor.
She is the opposite of the sluggard described in Proverbs. Her
"candle goeth not out by night" (Prov. 31:18) and she "eateth not the
bread of idleness" (Prov. 31:27). She is not like the young widows
described in 1 Timothy 5:13, who are "idle, wandering about from
house to house ... tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things
which they ought not."
Her labor is varied; she has many skills. Modern radical feminists
have looked down on the "lowly housewife," but this is a foolish
perspective. A virtuous and successful housewife and mother is a
woman of great ability and initiative, and her talents are certainly
not wasted in the home. "It was customary among the Jews to bring up
all the youth to useful and handicraft occupation. An excellent
custom this, but sadly neglected in these modern times" (David
Thomas).
She knows how to do good to her husband (Prov. 31:12), which involves
many wifely duties. The virtuous wife considers it her chief duty to
know her husband and to learn how to please him and help him. God
made Eve to be a "help meet" for Adam, to be his suitable companion
and co-laborer, and the virtuous wife takes this responsibility
seriously. She knows how to listen when he talks and to cheer him
when he is sad and to encourage him when he is downcast. She knows
when to be silent and when to speak. She knows how to counsel him
from a woman's perspective. She knows how to pray for him. She knows
how to keep herself as attractive as possible to please him and not
defraud him when he is passionate (1 Cor. 7:3-5).
She knows how to work with wool and make her own cloth (Prov. 31:13,
19, 24) and to sew (Prov. 31:22). While there is no need to make
cloth today, sewing remains an important skill. Many Christian women
sew clothes for themselves and their daughters because it is so
difficult to find ready-made clothes that fit the biblical standard
of modesty.
Her clothing is feminine as befitting a woman. She knows that she is
different from the man, and her clothing reflects this difference
(Deut. 22:5).
Her clothing is modest, as befitting a virtuous woman and as a
reflection of her virtuous heart. Compare 1 Peter 3:2-4. Immodest
clothing, too, is a reflection of the heart (Prov. 7:10).
Her clothing is attractive, as befitting a woman who is the glory of
her husband (Prov. 31:22; 1 Cor. 11:7).
Her clothing is honorable ("strength and honour are her clothing,"
Prov. 31:25). The virtuous woman does not wear anything that would
bring dishonor to her. Even in these wicked end times men tend to
honor women who dress honorably.
She knows how to bring her food from afar (Prov. 31:14). In those
days there were no grocery stores, and vegetables and meat and spices
had to be brought from many different places. There is little need
for this in our day in developed nations, but the virtuous woman
today is knowledgeable about food and is careful and thrifty in
shopping. Even today in undeveloped countries the virtuous woman
often has to shop in many places to obtain her food, because there
are no grocery stores. During the early years of our missionary work
in South Asia we couldn't afford a refrigerator and there were no
grocery stores, and my wife had to bring our food from many places in
the markets and had to purchase some items daily because they would
not keep and some items she brought from America.
She knows how to manage her household (Prov. 31:15). She keeps her
house clean and the meals prepared and the children's schedule
organized and looks after a hundred other things that require her
attention.
She knows how to buy fields and plant them (Prov. 31:16). Observe
that her spending is purposeful and cautious. She does not buy
impulsively but carefully plans her purchases. Her spending is wise.
She does not buy to satisfy a worldly lust for fashion and trinkets,
but she spends her money carefully and makes good investments.
She also knows how to sell things to make a profit (Prov. 31:24). She
makes things of fine quality and markets them. "When other women
impoverish their husbands by buying, she enriches her husband by
selling those valuable commodities for which there is a constant
demand" (Lawson).
4. THE VIRTUOUS WOMAN'S DISTRIBUTION TO THE POOR (Prov. 31:20).
She stretches out her hands to them. This refers to her zeal in
meeting their needs. Her alms-giving is not a mere ritual. She gives
from a heart of compassion and personal concern. "When material
acquisitions are great, and benevolent efforts small, the moral
health cannot be maintained; when much flows in, and none is
permitted to flow out, wealth becomes a stagnant pool, endangering
the life of those who reside on its brim. The sluice which love opens
to pour a stream upon the needy sweetens all the store" (Arnot).
At the same time, a wise woman is discriminate in her giving. She
does not give to professional beggars or to the lazy or the
profligate but to the truly needy. Many beggars beg because they are
too lazy to work or because they have wasted their substance on
liquor and drugs and gambling, and the Bible says he who does not
work should not eat (2 Thess. 3:10).
5. THE VIRTUOUS WOMAN'S WISDOM (Prov. 31:26-27)
The fountain of her wisdom is her fear of God and her love for His
Word (Prov. 31:30; 1:7). It is impossible for a woman to be truly
wise and virtuous without a right relationship with God through Jesus
Christ and without an intimate relationship with the Bible. In the
midst of her busy household schedule the wise woman finds a way to
spend time in the Scripture and is careful to walk in fellowship with
Christ.
Her wisdom is evident in her speech. Proverbs says the lips give
expression to what is in the heart (Prov. 15:2). When the virtuous
woman opens her mouth it is not to backbite someone or to tell an off
color joke or to tear down the pastor or to enthuse over some sensual
vanity like American Idol or to discuss the latest Hollywood scandal
or to gush at the latest vain fashion. She opens her mouth with
wisdom.
Her wisdom is evident in her kindness. Everything she does is subject
to this wonderful law. She is kind to her husband, her children, her
servants, to the poor and to strangers. This brings to mind my
maternal grandmother, Julia Pollock. I stayed with her a lot when I
was little, and I knew her when she was old, and she lived by the law
of kindness. The chief guiding principle in her life was to reflect
her faith in Christ by being kind to people; and if she wasn't
perfectly kind in a particular situation it was the exception and not
the rule. This also brings to mind my own wife of over 30 years. She,
too, lives by the law of kindness, and that law is in her tongue.
Her wisdom is evident in that she looks well to the ways of her
household (Prov. 31:27). She is not content that her household be fed
properly and clothed nicely; she is concerned about their "ways" or
how they live. She makes sure that her children are trained in God's
Word and are taught to walk in the fear of God. Like Timothy's mother
and grandmother (2 Tim. 2:5; 3:15) the virtuous woman instructs her
children in the Scriptures and gives them good laws to obey ("the law
of thy mother," Prov. 1:8). She also instructs other women (Titus
2:3-5).
6. THE VIRTUOUS WOMAN'S PRAISE (Prov. 31:28, 31)
The virtuous woman will doubtless not win a Hollywood Oscar or be
chosen as one of the world's "most desirable" women, but she has her
share of praise even in this world.
SHE IS PRAISED BY HER CHILDREN (Prov. 31:28-29).
Thankfulness doesn't come natural to the self-centered fallen nature.
It is foolishness that is bound in the heart of the child, not
overflowing thankfulness (Prov. 22:15)! Children must be taught to be
thankful, and as they grow up and assume their own place in society
and learn how difficult it is to be a parent they usually come to
appreciate their mothers more and more, especially if the mothers
were virtuous and self-sacrificing. Observe that the "children arise
up, and call her blessed." This probably refers to the fact that they
bless the mother after they are older.
Parents need to be patient with their children in this respect. They
can go through stages in which they aren't as close to and thankful
for their parents as they should be. It's not right, but it's often
part of life in this sin-cursed world. The parent needs to trust in
the Lord and remember his own youth to put things into proper
perspective.
Observe that children should be thankful for their parents and should
call them blessed. It is impossible for children to pay parents back
for all that they do for them, but at the very least they should show
thankfulness. How selfish and sinful are children who grow up and
ignore their parents and do not communicate with them and do not
express thankfulness to them! Thanksgiving should characterize the
child of God (Colossians 2:7).
SHE IS PRAISED BY HER HUSBAND (Prov. 31:28-29).
No one knows the value of a virtuous woman better than her own
husband, as he is the tender object of her sweet devotion and the
chief benefactor of her labor. Such a woman even has the power to win
an unsaved husband to Christ by her chaste conversation (1 Pet.
3:1-2). It appears that the statement in verse 29 is made by the
husband. "Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest
them all." She is spoken of directly (thou) rather than indirectly as
in the rest of the passage (she, her). "He cannot refrain from
bestowing praise on one whom he finds the sweetener of all his cares,
his faithful adviser in perplexities, his comforter in every
distress, the instrument of a great part of his earthly felicity; his
best friend, his unceasing joy, and his brightest crown. ... He
prefers her to every other wife that ever lived upon earth; and he is
sincere in doing it, for she ravished his heart by the beauties of
her mind and conversation. Piety will dispose a man to think meanly
of himself, in comparison with other men, but highly of his wife,
when he compares her with other women" (Lawson).
SHE IS PRAISED BY HER WORKS (Prov. 31:31).
The believer is saved by grace without works but he is saved unto
good works (Eph. 2:8-10), and the grace of God teaches us to "live
soberly, righteously, and godly in this present world" (Titus
2:11-12). Dorcas, too, was praised by her works (Acts 9:39). Our
works will be examined by fire at the judgment seat of Christ (1 Cor.
3:11-15).
It is in the gates that the virtuous woman's works praise her. This
refers to the place of ruling and judging in ancient times (Deut.
16:18; 21:19; 25:7; Josh. 20:4; 2 Kings 7:1). Thus the virtuous woman
will not be praised only in private by her own family. Obviously in
this present wicked world the virtuous woman is rarely if ever
praised in high places, but there is a City that has gates where she
will definitely be praised (Revelation 21:9-27)!
7. THE VIRTUOUS WOMAN'S SUPERIORITY (Prov. 31:30)
Virtue is better than favor, because favor is deceitful. Favor refers
to a favored position in life, to position and privilege and fame and
fortune in this world. Many men seek after a woman who has such favor
but such things are deceitful in that they are so fleeting and
undependable and because there is no eternal value in them.
Virtue is better than beauty, because beauty is vain. It is vain
because it is fleeting. It is vain because it tends to pride and
self-centeredness. It is vain because it tends to cause one to be
consumed with the physical and the temporal and to neglect the
spiritual and eternal. Beauty is vain because it is of no value
before God and if not accompanied by godliness it is as foolish as a
pig with a gold ring in its nose (Prov. 11:22). It is vain because it
does not satisfy in any lasting sense. Consider how many men married
to the world's most beautiful women have committed adultery. Beauty
is never perfect in this world and if beauty is the chief object of
the heart's desire the individual will never be satisfied. Multitudes
seek after beauty in a spouse but if it is not accompanied by virtue
the beauty will be a curse and not a blessing. "Beauty is but a
flower that fades in a day; and the love produced by it is but a
transient passion" (Lawson).
8. THE VIRTUOUS WOMAN'S FUTURE ("... she shall rejoice in time to
come," Prov. 31:25).
Her future is very bright! She will be rewarded at the judgment seat
of Christ and rejoice in the New Jerusalem for ever more!
"We who have the light of New Testament revelation can see in
Proverbs 31:31 more than a hint of the coming manifestation at the
judgment-seat of Christ. When the mists of earth have gone forever,
when its pride and folly and iniquity are eternally past, such a one
as the mother of Lemuel has been describing, shall appear in her
Lord's own presence with rejoicing, bearing her sheaves with her. At
His feet she will caste down the fruit of her hands and the works His
grace has wrought in and through her, to have all surveyed by
Himself. How sweet to hear His words of approbation in the gate,
'Well done, good and faithful servant! Enter thou into the joy of thy
Lord.' Who then will regret days of toil and nights of watching? Who
then would exchange the saint's path and portion, with all its
responsibilities as well as privileges, for a place of ease and
careless enjoyment of a few fleeting hours on earth? Not one"
(Ironside).
'Tis woman's to nourish affection's tree,
And its fruit domestic bliss shall be;
'Tis hers to cultivate with patient toil
Each heaven-born plant in the heart's deep soil;
And fruits and flowers her toil shall greet,
Richest flavours and odours on earth that meet.
'Tis woman's to fashion the infant mind,
To kindle its thoughts, and its hopes unbind:
To guide its young mind in the earliest flight,
And lure it to worlds of unsullied light:
To teach him to sing, in his gladsome hours,
Of a Saviour's love, with an angel's powers.
'Tis woman's to bind up the broken heart,
And soften the bleeding spirit's smart,
With the balm that in Gilead's garden grows,
With the stream that from Calvary's fountain flows;
And to light, in this world of pain and sin,
The lamp of love and joy again.
-- author unknown
THE VIRTUOUS WOMAN
October 2, 2007 (David Cloud, Fundamental Baptist Information
Service, P.O. Box 610368, Port Huron, MI 48061, 866-295-4143,
fbns@wayoflife.org; for instructions about subscribing and
unsubscribing or changing addresses, see the information paragraph at
the end of the article) -
The following is from the new Advanced Bible Studies Series on the
book of Proverbs, which is available from Way of Life Literature.
Proverbs 31:10-31
10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he
shall have no need of spoil.
12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.
14 She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.
15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her
household, and a portion to her maidens.
16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her
hands she planteth a vineyard.
17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.
18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not
out by night.
19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the
distaff.
20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth
her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her
household are clothed with scarlet.
22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and
purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the
elders of the land.
24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles
unto the merchant.
25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in
time to come.
26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law
of kindness.
27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the
bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also,
and he praiseth her.
29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.
30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth
the LORD, she shall be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise
her in the gates.
This book, which has warned frequently of the danger of the strange
woman and the foolish wife (e.g. Prov. 2:16-19; 5:3-14; 6:24-35;
7:5-27; 9:13-18; 11:22; 14:1; 21:9; 23:27-28; 25:24), concludes with
the glory of the virtuous wife.
It is a wonderful token of grace that this description of the
virtuous woman was written by Bathsheba (see the introduction to
Proverbs). She writes that the husband of the virtuous woman can
safely trust in her, yet she betrayed the trust of her first husband
by responding to David's sinful invitation. Of course she might have
put herself and her husband in jeopardy by refusing David's lust, but
she would have kept God's Law and maintained her honor. Yet God
forgave her sin and she became a prophetess of truth and
righteousness and a spokeswoman for virtue!
Bathsheba exhorts her son to find a virtuous woman. This was probably
taught to him as he was growing up. That he disobeyed his mother's
counsel resulted in his terrible backsliding and the loss of most of
the kingdom (1 Kings 11:1-13).
This lengthy description of the virtuous woman teaches us the immense
importance of the godly wife. She is mentioned in many passages of
the New Testament as well (Ephesians 5:22-33; Colossians 3:18; 1
Timothy 2:9-15; 3:11; Titus 2:3-5; 1 Peter 3:1-6). "And with good
reason is so much stress laid upon it, since it contributes as much
as any one thing to the keeping up of religion in families, and the
entail of it upon posterity, that the mothers be wise and good; and
of what consequence it is to the wealth and outward prosperity of a
house every one is sensible. He that will thrive must ask his wife
leave" (Matthew Henry). "In choosing a wife, fools will follow their
fancy, and the wise will act according to reason and the word of God"
(George Lawson).
In the Hebrew language Proverbs 31:10-31 is an acrostic. Each verse
begins with a different character in the Hebrew alphabet, beginning
with Aleph and ending with Tau. This facilitated memorization by
Jewish children.
1. THE VIRTUOUS WOMAN'S VALUE (Prov. 31:10)
She is worth more than precious jewels because she cannot be
purchased with money. Beauty can be bought, but virtue cannot. She is
worth more than precious jewels because of how valuable her faithful
labor is. It is possible to buy a house keeper, but it is not
possible to buy a woman who is dedicated to a man and his children
from her heart and who is committed to do them good all the days of
her life in every way possible, in sickness and in health, in poverty
and in wealth. The wise man will seek after such a woman.
Such a woman only comes from the Lord (Prov. 19:14). The man who
wants such a woman must walk with God and please God and patiently
seek her from His loving hand.
2. THE VIRTUOUS WOMAN'S DEPENDABILITY (Prov. 31:11-12)
She can be trusted by her husband because her first love is God. The
reason that she is in subjection to her husband is because she trusts
in God (1 Pet. 3:5). She is faithful to her husband because she fears
God and thus takes her marriage vows seriously.
She makes do with whatever her husband provides (Prov. 31:11). A
virtuous and wise woman can make a little go a long way, whereas the
foolish woman can waste even a large income. "Her management is so
skilful, industrious, and economic that her husband has no temptation
to go out of his way to do aught that is dishonest in order to
increase his resources. Many a husband has been prompted to deeds of
dishonesty through the indolence and extravagance of the partner of
his life" (Thomas).
She does good for her husband. She is not one who cares more about
her mother or a friend or some co-worker than her husband. Her heart
is set on him and on his welfare and pleasure. She takes her job as
an "help meet" seriously (Gen. 2:18).
She does him good all the days of her life. She takes her marital
vows of "in sickness and in health, till death do us part" seriously.
She does not allow her heart to become devoted to someone or
something else other than her husband, neither when she is young nor
when she is old. She does not do him good only once in awhile when
she is in the mood. Her heart is committed to doing him good and
being a proper help meet for him at all times and all of their lives.
"There is a wifely love that is fitful, capricious, passionate in its
endearments today, tomorrow cold, sulky, and sometimes splenetic;
this is not the love of a true wife, it is the love of a selfish
woman that seeks only her own gratification. Genuine wifely love
seeks the good of her husband, is constant as nature" (David Thomas).
The husband of the sensual and worldly woman, on the other hand,
cannot trust her. He cannot trust her not to give her heart to
another man. He cannot trust her to spend his money wisely. He cannot
trust her to keep his secrets. He cannot trust her to put him before
her friends and relatives. He cannot trust her to be doing what she
should be doing when he is not looking.
3. THE VIRTUOUS WOMAN'S LABOR (Prov. 31:13, 24-27)
Her labor is willing ("and worketh willingly with her hands," Prov.
31:13). She works because she wants to work. No one is standing over
her forcing her to work. It is a labor of love from her heart,
because she is committed to her God and to her family.
Her labor is diligent. Thirteen of the 22 verses describe her labor.
She is the opposite of the sluggard described in Proverbs. Her
"candle goeth not out by night" (Prov. 31:18) and she "eateth not the
bread of idleness" (Prov. 31:27). She is not like the young widows
described in 1 Timothy 5:13, who are "idle, wandering about from
house to house ... tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things
which they ought not."
Her labor is varied; she has many skills. Modern radical feminists
have looked down on the "lowly housewife," but this is a foolish
perspective. A virtuous and successful housewife and mother is a
woman of great ability and initiative, and her talents are certainly
not wasted in the home. "It was customary among the Jews to bring up
all the youth to useful and handicraft occupation. An excellent
custom this, but sadly neglected in these modern times" (David
Thomas).
She knows how to do good to her husband (Prov. 31:12), which involves
many wifely duties. The virtuous wife considers it her chief duty to
know her husband and to learn how to please him and help him. God
made Eve to be a "help meet" for Adam, to be his suitable companion
and co-laborer, and the virtuous wife takes this responsibility
seriously. She knows how to listen when he talks and to cheer him
when he is sad and to encourage him when he is downcast. She knows
when to be silent and when to speak. She knows how to counsel him
from a woman's perspective. She knows how to pray for him. She knows
how to keep herself as attractive as possible to please him and not
defraud him when he is passionate (1 Cor. 7:3-5).
She knows how to work with wool and make her own cloth (Prov. 31:13,
19, 24) and to sew (Prov. 31:22). While there is no need to make
cloth today, sewing remains an important skill. Many Christian women
sew clothes for themselves and their daughters because it is so
difficult to find ready-made clothes that fit the biblical standard
of modesty.
Her clothing is feminine as befitting a woman. She knows that she is
different from the man, and her clothing reflects this difference
(Deut. 22:5).
Her clothing is modest, as befitting a virtuous woman and as a
reflection of her virtuous heart. Compare 1 Peter 3:2-4. Immodest
clothing, too, is a reflection of the heart (Prov. 7:10).
Her clothing is attractive, as befitting a woman who is the glory of
her husband (Prov. 31:22; 1 Cor. 11:7).
Her clothing is honorable ("strength and honour are her clothing,"
Prov. 31:25). The virtuous woman does not wear anything that would
bring dishonor to her. Even in these wicked end times men tend to
honor women who dress honorably.
She knows how to bring her food from afar (Prov. 31:14). In those
days there were no grocery stores, and vegetables and meat and spices
had to be brought from many different places. There is little need
for this in our day in developed nations, but the virtuous woman
today is knowledgeable about food and is careful and thrifty in
shopping. Even today in undeveloped countries the virtuous woman
often has to shop in many places to obtain her food, because there
are no grocery stores. During the early years of our missionary work
in South Asia we couldn't afford a refrigerator and there were no
grocery stores, and my wife had to bring our food from many places in
the markets and had to purchase some items daily because they would
not keep and some items she brought from America.
She knows how to manage her household (Prov. 31:15). She keeps her
house clean and the meals prepared and the children's schedule
organized and looks after a hundred other things that require her
attention.
She knows how to buy fields and plant them (Prov. 31:16). Observe
that her spending is purposeful and cautious. She does not buy
impulsively but carefully plans her purchases. Her spending is wise.
She does not buy to satisfy a worldly lust for fashion and trinkets,
but she spends her money carefully and makes good investments.
She also knows how to sell things to make a profit (Prov. 31:24). She
makes things of fine quality and markets them. "When other women
impoverish their husbands by buying, she enriches her husband by
selling those valuable commodities for which there is a constant
demand" (Lawson).
4. THE VIRTUOUS WOMAN'S DISTRIBUTION TO THE POOR (Prov. 31:20).
She stretches out her hands to them. This refers to her zeal in
meeting their needs. Her alms-giving is not a mere ritual. She gives
from a heart of compassion and personal concern. "When material
acquisitions are great, and benevolent efforts small, the moral
health cannot be maintained; when much flows in, and none is
permitted to flow out, wealth becomes a stagnant pool, endangering
the life of those who reside on its brim. The sluice which love opens
to pour a stream upon the needy sweetens all the store" (Arnot).
At the same time, a wise woman is discriminate in her giving. She
does not give to professional beggars or to the lazy or the
profligate but to the truly needy. Many beggars beg because they are
too lazy to work or because they have wasted their substance on
liquor and drugs and gambling, and the Bible says he who does not
work should not eat (2 Thess. 3:10).
5. THE VIRTUOUS WOMAN'S WISDOM (Prov. 31:26-27)
The fountain of her wisdom is her fear of God and her love for His
Word (Prov. 31:30; 1:7). It is impossible for a woman to be truly
wise and virtuous without a right relationship with God through Jesus
Christ and without an intimate relationship with the Bible. In the
midst of her busy household schedule the wise woman finds a way to
spend time in the Scripture and is careful to walk in fellowship with
Christ.
Her wisdom is evident in her speech. Proverbs says the lips give
expression to what is in the heart (Prov. 15:2). When the virtuous
woman opens her mouth it is not to backbite someone or to tell an off
color joke or to tear down the pastor or to enthuse over some sensual
vanity like American Idol or to discuss the latest Hollywood scandal
or to gush at the latest vain fashion. She opens her mouth with
wisdom.
Her wisdom is evident in her kindness. Everything she does is subject
to this wonderful law. She is kind to her husband, her children, her
servants, to the poor and to strangers. This brings to mind my
maternal grandmother, Julia Pollock. I stayed with her a lot when I
was little, and I knew her when she was old, and she lived by the law
of kindness. The chief guiding principle in her life was to reflect
her faith in Christ by being kind to people; and if she wasn't
perfectly kind in a particular situation it was the exception and not
the rule. This also brings to mind my own wife of over 30 years. She,
too, lives by the law of kindness, and that law is in her tongue.
Her wisdom is evident in that she looks well to the ways of her
household (Prov. 31:27). She is not content that her household be fed
properly and clothed nicely; she is concerned about their "ways" or
how they live. She makes sure that her children are trained in God's
Word and are taught to walk in the fear of God. Like Timothy's mother
and grandmother (2 Tim. 2:5; 3:15) the virtuous woman instructs her
children in the Scriptures and gives them good laws to obey ("the law
of thy mother," Prov. 1:8). She also instructs other women (Titus
2:3-5).
6. THE VIRTUOUS WOMAN'S PRAISE (Prov. 31:28, 31)
The virtuous woman will doubtless not win a Hollywood Oscar or be
chosen as one of the world's "most desirable" women, but she has her
share of praise even in this world.
SHE IS PRAISED BY HER CHILDREN (Prov. 31:28-29).
Thankfulness doesn't come natural to the self-centered fallen nature.
It is foolishness that is bound in the heart of the child, not
overflowing thankfulness (Prov. 22:15)! Children must be taught to be
thankful, and as they grow up and assume their own place in society
and learn how difficult it is to be a parent they usually come to
appreciate their mothers more and more, especially if the mothers
were virtuous and self-sacrificing. Observe that the "children arise
up, and call her blessed." This probably refers to the fact that they
bless the mother after they are older.
Parents need to be patient with their children in this respect. They
can go through stages in which they aren't as close to and thankful
for their parents as they should be. It's not right, but it's often
part of life in this sin-cursed world. The parent needs to trust in
the Lord and remember his own youth to put things into proper
perspective.
Observe that children should be thankful for their parents and should
call them blessed. It is impossible for children to pay parents back
for all that they do for them, but at the very least they should show
thankfulness. How selfish and sinful are children who grow up and
ignore their parents and do not communicate with them and do not
express thankfulness to them! Thanksgiving should characterize the
child of God (Colossians 2:7).
SHE IS PRAISED BY HER HUSBAND (Prov. 31:28-29).
No one knows the value of a virtuous woman better than her own
husband, as he is the tender object of her sweet devotion and the
chief benefactor of her labor. Such a woman even has the power to win
an unsaved husband to Christ by her chaste conversation (1 Pet.
3:1-2). It appears that the statement in verse 29 is made by the
husband. "Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest
them all." She is spoken of directly (thou) rather than indirectly as
in the rest of the passage (she, her). "He cannot refrain from
bestowing praise on one whom he finds the sweetener of all his cares,
his faithful adviser in perplexities, his comforter in every
distress, the instrument of a great part of his earthly felicity; his
best friend, his unceasing joy, and his brightest crown. ... He
prefers her to every other wife that ever lived upon earth; and he is
sincere in doing it, for she ravished his heart by the beauties of
her mind and conversation. Piety will dispose a man to think meanly
of himself, in comparison with other men, but highly of his wife,
when he compares her with other women" (Lawson).
SHE IS PRAISED BY HER WORKS (Prov. 31:31).
The believer is saved by grace without works but he is saved unto
good works (Eph. 2:8-10), and the grace of God teaches us to "live
soberly, righteously, and godly in this present world" (Titus
2:11-12). Dorcas, too, was praised by her works (Acts 9:39). Our
works will be examined by fire at the judgment seat of Christ (1 Cor.
3:11-15).
It is in the gates that the virtuous woman's works praise her. This
refers to the place of ruling and judging in ancient times (Deut.
16:18; 21:19; 25:7; Josh. 20:4; 2 Kings 7:1). Thus the virtuous woman
will not be praised only in private by her own family. Obviously in
this present wicked world the virtuous woman is rarely if ever
praised in high places, but there is a City that has gates where she
will definitely be praised (Revelation 21:9-27)!
7. THE VIRTUOUS WOMAN'S SUPERIORITY (Prov. 31:30)
Virtue is better than favor, because favor is deceitful. Favor refers
to a favored position in life, to position and privilege and fame and
fortune in this world. Many men seek after a woman who has such favor
but such things are deceitful in that they are so fleeting and
undependable and because there is no eternal value in them.
Virtue is better than beauty, because beauty is vain. It is vain
because it is fleeting. It is vain because it tends to pride and
self-centeredness. It is vain because it tends to cause one to be
consumed with the physical and the temporal and to neglect the
spiritual and eternal. Beauty is vain because it is of no value
before God and if not accompanied by godliness it is as foolish as a
pig with a gold ring in its nose (Prov. 11:22). It is vain because it
does not satisfy in any lasting sense. Consider how many men married
to the world's most beautiful women have committed adultery. Beauty
is never perfect in this world and if beauty is the chief object of
the heart's desire the individual will never be satisfied. Multitudes
seek after beauty in a spouse but if it is not accompanied by virtue
the beauty will be a curse and not a blessing. "Beauty is but a
flower that fades in a day; and the love produced by it is but a
transient passion" (Lawson).
8. THE VIRTUOUS WOMAN'S FUTURE ("... she shall rejoice in time to
come," Prov. 31:25).
Her future is very bright! She will be rewarded at the judgment seat
of Christ and rejoice in the New Jerusalem for ever more!
"We who have the light of New Testament revelation can see in
Proverbs 31:31 more than a hint of the coming manifestation at the
judgment-seat of Christ. When the mists of earth have gone forever,
when its pride and folly and iniquity are eternally past, such a one
as the mother of Lemuel has been describing, shall appear in her
Lord's own presence with rejoicing, bearing her sheaves with her. At
His feet she will caste down the fruit of her hands and the works His
grace has wrought in and through her, to have all surveyed by
Himself. How sweet to hear His words of approbation in the gate,
'Well done, good and faithful servant! Enter thou into the joy of thy
Lord.' Who then will regret days of toil and nights of watching? Who
then would exchange the saint's path and portion, with all its
responsibilities as well as privileges, for a place of ease and
careless enjoyment of a few fleeting hours on earth? Not one"
(Ironside).
'Tis woman's to nourish affection's tree,
And its fruit domestic bliss shall be;
'Tis hers to cultivate with patient toil
Each heaven-born plant in the heart's deep soil;
And fruits and flowers her toil shall greet,
Richest flavours and odours on earth that meet.
'Tis woman's to fashion the infant mind,
To kindle its thoughts, and its hopes unbind:
To guide its young mind in the earliest flight,
And lure it to worlds of unsullied light:
To teach him to sing, in his gladsome hours,
Of a Saviour's love, with an angel's powers.
'Tis woman's to bind up the broken heart,
And soften the bleeding spirit's smart,
With the balm that in Gilead's garden grows,
With the stream that from Calvary's fountain flows;
And to light, in this world of pain and sin,
The lamp of love and joy again.
-- author unknown