Hope in Him
October 4th, 2007, 06:57 PM
Hi everyone,
I have lurked out here for years now...and I have a serious problem. I thought about posting in the men's forum but wasn't sure...so I will start here. I will try to say these things in the most polite terms possible but I really need some advice.
I was divorced for 15 years and raised my two children by myself. I remarried a year ago in May. My husband has 2 children, girls who are currently 14 & 16. My youngest is 18 (a girl) and my oldest (a son) is 25.
My husband's youngest daughter when we first married was 13. She decided she didn't like me and didn't speak to me for around 3 months (with my husbands blessing) She would not let me sit by my husband, talk to him, nothing ever. She was not like this when her mother remarried to man she met on the internet after knowing only two weeks. My husband would not hold my hand, kiss me, sit beside me, talk alone with me etc...you get the picture. This went on for months until I finally told him, jealously sure...that's fine but you do not let a child do this (a teenager be rude) she should at least be required to be polite to me. He finally conceded after another month or so. (I am telling you this so you have a picture)
Down the road a few months....neither girl will allow me to alone with him. I couldn't sit beside him and watch tv. He always laid on the floor, cuddled with them. We couldn't speak alone in our room, because the youngest always came in. Then the girls started coming up to him and basically dirty dancing in his face when he was sitting down. He did nothing. When he did react...he laughed and acted flattered. The first time they did that, that night I went to check on my daughter for something, came back in the bedroom and he had his youngest in our bed, in my place, asleep. The girls both run around in next to nothing and the oldest is very well built. I bought them robes, they don't wear them. They talk to him in a sexy little girl voices constantly and say things like" Daddy, what does well-endowed mean??" Then sit at the table discussing sexually graphic things in front of him with no reaction from him. I put my foot down and say no more. This is horrible for you, for me and for them...if they act like this with you, what do you think they are doing around boys their age? He at least then starts sitting by me in the den and makes them leave our room sometimes. He hasn't put them in my bed again. But all he did was fight with me for weeks after that I told him no more.
Then his oldest (remember she is very well built) walks up to me and him and shakes things at him....he laughs. I told her to stop it immediately. I tried talking to him about this again. I say....That it is damaging our marriage. I cannot hardly stand to be around his girls. I am hurt and angry. We have to something...he get angry. We have two houses. He has not spoken or contacted me in over a week now because I of me talking to him. He tries to blame everything and anything but accept that this is morally wrong. These are his children and they are interacting with him like he is a man they are interested in....
We both worked in an international ministry for years. I married him because I believed that he was Godly. He will not pray with me, he will not do bible studies with me. When we went on vacation his children told me in the car that there is nothing wrong with homosexuals or pediphila. :shocked He said nothing to them. We have caught the oldest in sexual relationships already with young men and women. The girls mother has no morals, my husband acted as though that made him angry but anytime I tried to teach them, he won't do anything. Plus he acts like its funny or he likes the way they act towards him.
I never had a dad, mine died when I was 5. My daughter never had a dad since I was divorced. Please tell me that I am not crazy...there is something really wrong here. Plus the fact that I would tell him that this is wrong makes him so angry that the first time he acted crazy mad at me for weeks and this time, he still isn't speaking to me. I am his wife...I know he understands what that means in the eyes of God.
I am not sure how good a job I did in explaining all this. I didn't want to write a book. If you have questions, I'll be happy to answer them. Right now I don't know that I really ever want to live with him. When I picture in my mind how his children are interacting in a sexual manner towards him....I just feel ...done. I don't want to hug him, or kiss him. I feel sick at the thought of sitting by him now. I am repulsed by this. I am trying to pray for him...I can pray but having difficulty in praying that God will save this marriage....I think I would rather just end it. Tell whatever child authorities and leave it at that. Let them sort it out. I have an appointment Monday at church with a psychologist...but I just wanted to hear what someone else thinks. Also, if your married...Would you ask your husband what would his reaction be to daughters that behaved this way with him? What would your reaction as women be to your husband and daughters that interacted this way?
God Bless and I so appreciate you taking the time to read this!
Just looked through this...I think I did write a book! Oops!:)
I have lurked out here for years now...and I have a serious problem. I thought about posting in the men's forum but wasn't sure...so I will start here. I will try to say these things in the most polite terms possible but I really need some advice.
I was divorced for 15 years and raised my two children by myself. I remarried a year ago in May. My husband has 2 children, girls who are currently 14 & 16. My youngest is 18 (a girl) and my oldest (a son) is 25.
My husband's youngest daughter when we first married was 13. She decided she didn't like me and didn't speak to me for around 3 months (with my husbands blessing) She would not let me sit by my husband, talk to him, nothing ever. She was not like this when her mother remarried to man she met on the internet after knowing only two weeks. My husband would not hold my hand, kiss me, sit beside me, talk alone with me etc...you get the picture. This went on for months until I finally told him, jealously sure...that's fine but you do not let a child do this (a teenager be rude) she should at least be required to be polite to me. He finally conceded after another month or so. (I am telling you this so you have a picture)
Down the road a few months....neither girl will allow me to alone with him. I couldn't sit beside him and watch tv. He always laid on the floor, cuddled with them. We couldn't speak alone in our room, because the youngest always came in. Then the girls started coming up to him and basically dirty dancing in his face when he was sitting down. He did nothing. When he did react...he laughed and acted flattered. The first time they did that, that night I went to check on my daughter for something, came back in the bedroom and he had his youngest in our bed, in my place, asleep. The girls both run around in next to nothing and the oldest is very well built. I bought them robes, they don't wear them. They talk to him in a sexy little girl voices constantly and say things like" Daddy, what does well-endowed mean??" Then sit at the table discussing sexually graphic things in front of him with no reaction from him. I put my foot down and say no more. This is horrible for you, for me and for them...if they act like this with you, what do you think they are doing around boys their age? He at least then starts sitting by me in the den and makes them leave our room sometimes. He hasn't put them in my bed again. But all he did was fight with me for weeks after that I told him no more.
Then his oldest (remember she is very well built) walks up to me and him and shakes things at him....he laughs. I told her to stop it immediately. I tried talking to him about this again. I say....That it is damaging our marriage. I cannot hardly stand to be around his girls. I am hurt and angry. We have to something...he get angry. We have two houses. He has not spoken or contacted me in over a week now because I of me talking to him. He tries to blame everything and anything but accept that this is morally wrong. These are his children and they are interacting with him like he is a man they are interested in....
We both worked in an international ministry for years. I married him because I believed that he was Godly. He will not pray with me, he will not do bible studies with me. When we went on vacation his children told me in the car that there is nothing wrong with homosexuals or pediphila. :shocked He said nothing to them. We have caught the oldest in sexual relationships already with young men and women. The girls mother has no morals, my husband acted as though that made him angry but anytime I tried to teach them, he won't do anything. Plus he acts like its funny or he likes the way they act towards him.
I never had a dad, mine died when I was 5. My daughter never had a dad since I was divorced. Please tell me that I am not crazy...there is something really wrong here. Plus the fact that I would tell him that this is wrong makes him so angry that the first time he acted crazy mad at me for weeks and this time, he still isn't speaking to me. I am his wife...I know he understands what that means in the eyes of God.
I am not sure how good a job I did in explaining all this. I didn't want to write a book. If you have questions, I'll be happy to answer them. Right now I don't know that I really ever want to live with him. When I picture in my mind how his children are interacting in a sexual manner towards him....I just feel ...done. I don't want to hug him, or kiss him. I feel sick at the thought of sitting by him now. I am repulsed by this. I am trying to pray for him...I can pray but having difficulty in praying that God will save this marriage....I think I would rather just end it. Tell whatever child authorities and leave it at that. Let them sort it out. I have an appointment Monday at church with a psychologist...but I just wanted to hear what someone else thinks. Also, if your married...Would you ask your husband what would his reaction be to daughters that behaved this way with him? What would your reaction as women be to your husband and daughters that interacted this way?
God Bless and I so appreciate you taking the time to read this!
Just looked through this...I think I did write a book! Oops!:)