Was Your Dad There for You?

[Locrouse]

I didn't even meet my dad until I was in high school. Our relationship after that wasn't very good when I did. I never had an ounce of respect for the man. When he showed up to my 16th birthday so drunk he was throwing up in front of my friends, I through him out, and told him never to come around or attempt to call again. He died a few years ago, and needless to say I didn't shed a tear. As a matter of fact, I wasn't even late to work that day...
I hope most of you had better experiences with their fathers. On the plus side though, I now know the things to not do when raising my boys.

[frodo82801]

My dad was a sarcastic bully. He adored my sister, would do anything for her but made my Mother and my life hell.

I love kids and badly want a good marriage and children. I'll never treat them the way my dad treated me, I want to be a Godly husband and father. I may have to seek help in learning how.
As time has passed and I can look back with understanding, it seems like I stepped into life with the operators manual for a garbage scow and being a good dad and father required driving a car. It takes time to unlearn and relearn. I think the hardest part is thinking back on the opportunities I missed because I had no idea where I was going or how to get what was good for me.

So much grieving. So much pain. It's stuff I don't want to pass on to my kids, but I lose sleep wondering how much I may be messing them up.

[Comfort me]

As time has passed and I can look back with understanding, it seems like I stepped into life with the operators manual for a garbage scow and being a good dad and father required driving a car. It takes time to unlearn and relearn. I think the hardest part is thinking back on the opportunities I missed because I had no idea where I was going or how to get what was good for me.

So much grieving. So much pain. It's stuff I don't want to pass on to my kids, but I lose sleep wondering how much I may be messing them up.

God bless you. I decided not to have children mostly based on the lack of sound parenting which I endured. Keep fighting the good fight.

[Flippingj]

My Father was always there. Sometimes it seemed he was there too much, especially when I was doing something wrong. :aha

My Dad was strict. But he wasn't so strict that I couldn't go out and have fun. A lot of the rules my Dad layed down I look back now and they make a lot of sense, even though I hated them at the time.

I have two boys. One is 5 and the other is 1 1/2. They are great. I will use some of the rules that my father layed down for me, but I will tweek some of the ones that he layed down that I do not completely agree with.

Overall I had a great Dad. I would not wish for another one. I hope I can be the same type of father to my sons as my father was to me.

[frodo82801]

God bless you. I decided not to have children mostly based on the lack of sound parenting which I endured. Keep fighting the good fight.
I can understand completely. I remember in early 20s that I never wanted to get married or have kids because I didn't want to hurt anyone as badly as I was hurt. There's nothing like having kids to force you to deal with your stuff.

It's a generational thing. You have to decide not to pass it on and do what it takes to stop the garbage in its tracks. It's not a fun process, but it's so important to do when you've got kids.

[Sing4Him]

My dad was a solid believer but adored my sister and pushed me away. I loved him so much anyway, I always wished he loved me the same way.

[Comfort me]

My dad was a solid believer but adored my sister and pushed me away. I loved him so much anyway, I always wished he loved me the same way.

I'll never understand parents who behave like this.

[frodo82801]

I'll never understand parents who behave like this.
Because their parents didn't do a good job. That's why it has to be stopped.

[Comfort me]

My parents came out for a surprise visit last night. They were actually pleasant.

[Munkh]

My parents divorced when I was 4 and I only saw my Dad sporatically while growing up. I alwas longed to be a part of his life but it never happened until My Grandpa died and I was about 20 years old by then. That I think woke my Dad up and we have a good relationship now.

I grew up with a abusive alcoholic stepfather who I tried to avoid most of the time so I didnt get beatup. He died of a heart attack when I was 17. He had 4 daughters and a son that my Mother adopted and raised. They were the only reason she stayed with him. So even tho he was abusive to me and my Mother I gained 4 Sisters and a Brother I would not have had otherwise.