Does anyone else feel this way???

[AnnaC]

Ok, the thread about your DH having friends reminded me of this question that I have had for a while. I am kind of nervous asking this- please see where I'm coming from and don't flame me.

Does anyone else find it easier to make friends with guys than with girls? I find that my friendships with guys are most of the time better and easier to maintain than my friendships with girls. With girls I find myself worrying sometimes, "did I do something to offend her? Does she think I don't like her anymore because we haven't hung out in a while? Does she like Sally more than she likes me?" I don't ever have these kind of thoughts about my guy friends. If I haven't seen a guy friend in a while, I don't worry about if he is going to give me the cold shoulder or not, because I know everything will be fine. Is this normal??? Has anyone else experienced this?

Ok, now for the disclaimers. All of these "guy friends" are from my church, and DH knows and is friends with all of them. I am always very careful not to talk about anything innapropriate or act innappropriate around them. I never hang out with any of them one-on-one. I think that would be very wrong. I could go on and on, but I hope you can get the picture that this is not about me trying to cheat on my husband or have friends behind his back. We pretty much have all the same friends- we are both friends with the guys and girls at our church. We trust each other, and we never cross the line to where temptation starts to come in. Does that explain it?

So, anyway, have any of you found that it is easier to be friends with guys than with girls?

[wife]

I find it easier to talk to guys. But I grew up with one brother so I guess maybe that is why. He gets along better with girls... so go figure that!!

Honestly, I don't have any friends. None local anyway. I just feel like with other women I am being compared.... So yes, I feel the same way as you

[House of Light]

I feel the same way. I grew up in a house with 5 brothers, and I just seem to befriend guys easier. I am in the same boat you are however. I would never be alone or one on one with these friends.

[jadeeyes]

I grew up with 3 brothers so I understand where you're coming from. However, I've lived in the same house for 30 years and became good friends with 2 women in the neighborhood. One moved away several years ago, but not too far, so for the last 20 years, we've been meeting once a week for coffee. The other one still lives right by me and we're even better friends now than ever before. Also, through my church affiliation, I've become close friends with 3 other Christian women. We've attended church together, worked in ministry together and taken trips together. Over the summer, we attended the Women of Faith Conference in Chicago and are planning to attend next year in Indianapolis or St. Louis. All five of my friends and I have seen each other through a lot. The first two saw me through the death of my father. They all saw me through the near death of my husband. They were there when I had to have a lumpectomy and when I was sick nearly to death last year. When I came home from the hospital, they took turns cooking for my husband and me until I was well enough to do so. They were there when my kids got married and my grandkids were born. They prayed and encouraged me through a serious and necessary confrontation with my mother. One of them lost her husband a few years back. One lost her mother several years ago. Three are dealing with seriously ill parents. And 1 just adopted 2 more kids to go with the 3 she already had. One's a beautician, one's a critical care nurse, one does whatever odd job she can pick up and 2 are retired. I would urge you to pray for the Lord to help you find one or two women who will become close friends. These are among the closest and most rewarding relationships of my life.

[ChristiRenee]

Not me! It's way too complicated in guy friendships! Either one or both of us ALWAYS end up liking each other more than friends and it just becomes way too unbalanced. I have learned to stick to my amigas. It's safer ... and when I finally meet my future husband he will be my only male close friend.

[angelwings88]

I freel the same way.

[Deepcallstodeep]

Not only did I grow up with boys, I was one of only 5 girls in a boys' school for years! (A private boys' school but faculty daughters could go) So I was the only girl in all my classes. I found that boys were more direct, and it was much easier to understand boys than girls. I was also kind of a tom-boy so it suited me fine. When I did finally start a co-ed school I was befuddled by the other girls, all the time spent in front of the mirror, how a girl would say one thing to your face but something else behind your back... I didn't make good women friends 'til college.

However, now that I'm married, I don't feel exactly the same way. I have wonderful women/mommy friends now and it's a slippery slope to share certain parts of our lives with male friends, as innocent as it can seem on the surface. I do have Christian men that are my "friends," and I still think that men are much "easier" to be around because they are so much more direct... but I keep all interaction to a group setting the way you do, Anna. So I guess I am agreeing, with a big caveat to guard our hearts. It's so easy to start out with a simple friendship that evolves into an emotional affair. Best to just avoid the danger.

[lisa]

I find it easier to talk to guys, however my husband and I have decided this isn't a good idea for us. Even with the best of intentions and behavior, male/female friendships can get out of whack very quickly. It's just the nature of our flesh.

[Kristina]

Anna I have always been the same way, I get along with males so much easier than females. I have never really had a "girlfriend" that I would share everything with etc. The closest I have come has been this past year at cosmetology school, where the population is almost all female, and how can I say this with out it being taken the wrong way..... I am at a more ethnic diverse school than I ever have been before. IN MY EXPERIENCE I have had a much easier time forming real friendships with black females over white females. (I myself am white) I am not sure why, perhaps my personality type is to strong for some females. I have made more female friends at school than I have before in my life. And to think I almost didn't go to Cosmetology school because the thought of being stuck with females that many hours in a day was dreadful. :lol2

[adam423]

It doesn't matter to me...it's the person. I have women friends and some men friends, some of which are husbands of some of my friends.

I grew up with all sisters.