We are held to a higher standard

[Live4Jesus]

Ok this is just a rant I guess but I thought Christian women were supposed to be different from regular women. No gossiping. No drama. No backstabbing. No "I'm better than you". No clique kind of thing. No cattiness.

I had enough of that kind of stuff with non-Christian women before I was saved. Even then I didn't have very many women friends because of all that stuff. I can't stand it.

Now, I've been saved since 1999 and there have been few Christian women that I've met since then that are what Christ tells us we should be. Why is that?

I just don't get it. :scratch

We are supposed to be more accepting of others. We are supposed to love others. We aren't supposed to look down our noses at others. We are held to a higher standard.

We are no better than anyone else.

I'm probably just babbling but I had to get that off my chest. I'm re-evaluating some relationships (Christian and otherwise) right now. I'm trying to be an example but it's hard when I get this look :twitch when I say something. Maybe I'm just crazy or something.

[Because_He_Lives!]

Ok this is just a rant I guess but I thought Christian women were supposed to be different from regular women. No gossiping. No drama. No backstabbing. No "I'm better than you". No clique kind of thing. No cattiness.

I had enough of that kind of stuff with non-Christian women before I was saved. Even then I didn't have very many women friends because of all that stuff. I can't stand it.

Now, I've been saved since 1999 and there have been few Christian women that I've met since then that are what Christ tells us we should be. Why is that?

I just don't get it. :scratch

We are supposed to be more accepting of others. We are supposed to love others. We aren't supposed to look down our noses at others. We are held to a higher standard.

We are no better than anyone else.

I'm probably just babbling but I had to get that off my chest. I'm re-evaluating some relationships (Christian and otherwise) right now. I'm trying to be an example but it's hard when I get this look :twitch when I say something. Maybe I'm just crazy or something.


You're not babbling. You are making sense. And the back stabbing, gossiping drama and clique thing you mention is the reason I find it hard to relate to other women.. in my past non Christian life. I really dispise that. I hope and pray you find some really good Christian women to relate to and please pray for me that I may find that as well. :)

Thanks for posting. :hug

[jadeeyes]

Just keep in mind that every Christian is a work in progress. I often wonder how many times since I've been a Christian that I've said or done something that has made someone else say, " I thought she was a Christian.", or " I thought Christian's weren't supposed to act like that." It's probably happened far more often than I'd like to even think about. It's important that you find some good Christian friends you can fellowship with and trust, but you need to cut them a little slack when they fall short of being the kind of women God would have them be. They will eventually become the kind of women God wants them to be, when they receive their glorified bodies.

[jadeeyes]

I forgot to add that I have 5 wonderful, Christian women in my life who are very close and dear friends. If I were to tick off each of the flaws I have been able to see in each of them over the years, you'd probably wonder how I could hold them as such dear friends. I think it's because I have at least as many flaws as they do. It would probably be hard to be real close friends with them if I couldn't see any flaws in them, because I would probably feel convicted every time I was in their presence.

[jorjean]

Just keep in mind that every Christian is a work in progress. I often wonder how many times since I've been a Christian that I've said or done something that has made someone else say, " I thought she was a Christian.", or " I thought Christian's weren't supposed to act like that." It's probably happened far more often than I'd like to even think about. It's important that you find some good Christian friends you can fellowship with and trust, but you need to cut them a little slack when they fall short of being the kind of women God would have them be. They will eventually become the kind of women God wants them to be, when they receive their glorified bodies.

We are all such works in progress. I too have said and done things that are so not "Christian". Praise God His mercies are fresh every morning.

I say amen to the prayer that you find a network of godly women to share with. Remember that you won't find perfection untill we get to heaven.:hug

[Live4Jesus]

I am by no means saying I am perfect. I know I have acted in a non-Christlike way many times. It just hurts when you count on these relationships and they aren't the way they should be. When you look up to these women to help you in your spiritual growth and they end up hindering it because of their actions.

But maybe I'm being overly critical.

[lisa]

:hug You aren't babbling or being overly critical in my view. It seems we are socialized to be this way.. our culture just beats us over the head with it. Not that it's an excuse, because you are right, we ARE called to be different. Keep praying about it. The Lord will bring people into your life to minister to you, and to minister to! Perhaps you can be a change agent for the ladies around you.

[jadeeyes]

Live4Jesus, please forgive me if I have offended you or hurt your feelings. If I did so, it was not intentional. I think your initial post should serve as a reminder and a warning to all of us. No, we are never going to be perfect until we receive our glorified bodies, but we need to avoid using that as an excuse for bad behaviour. Ask God to send somene to you who will be a friend, a mentor and an accountability partner. The bible says that we have not because we ask not, so ask. I believe that it is certainly within God's will for you to have at least 1 female friend you can trust. And, when God sends her to you, don't forget to thank Him and praise Him and keep in mind that she will still fall short and there will be times that her falling short will be obvious. :hug

PS: It wouldn't hurt to pray for those women who are letting you down. Let God get a hold of them. :heh

[adam423]

I am by no means saying I am perfect. I know I have acted in a non-Christlike way many times. It just hurts when you count on these relationships and they aren't the way they should be. When you look up to these women to help you in your spiritual growth and they end up hindering it because of their actions.

But maybe I'm being overly critical.

:hug:hug the other posters said it right...we still sin, while trying to be more like Jesus. I learned that when you look up to people, you will be hurt and disappointed every time. It is Christ we should always look up to as our example and seek Him for our spiritual growth.

I can tell by our OP that you've been hurt by someone. Pray about it, then go talk to this woman. Offenses that are just left can lead to bitterness. I'll keep you in my prayers. :hug

[PrairieGal]

This is an interesting subject. My own situation is rather limited on Christian lady friends. This is what came to mind as I read through the posts:

"The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed." (Titus 2:3-5)

I guess I might have been thinking of our being examples for one another, and "older and wiser" ladies teaching younger ladies. At least that's the Biblical "ideal!"

:glasses :bible