Need Kids Sports Advice

[C. Little]

I coach a 9 & 10 yr old flag football team. We're the 2nd best team in our league and we are scheduled to play the best team for the championship. Here's my problem, the 1st place team's coaches are totally out of control. They scream at their players the whole game, they yank them off the field if they make a bad play. They have 4 coaches and they holler and yell the entire game. Last time we played them, the coaches were even talking trash to my kids! Plus, they cheat by moving their defensie players around after we line up on offense, which they aren't allowed to do. After our last game, their coaches were taunting me and my kids. It is a really bad situation.

After the last game I told the YMCA that I would forfeit before I would subject my kids to that again. The Y has told them to calm down, but it hasn't helped.

Now we have gone through the playoffs are set to play them again, and I don't know what I should do. They have beaten us twice, but I know exactly how to beat them, and I really think we could knock them off, but truthfully I don't know what would happen if we did. These guys are truly whacky.

So should we play, or should I make a statement and refuse to? The other parents on my team have said they would certainly have no problem w/ not going through it again. I had one Dad send me an e-mail, encouraging me not to play. I just don't know what message I would be sending my kids in not playing. I do have an excuse though, I have one kid that's hurt and two are going on family trips, so I would have to borrow a couple of kids that I know to even have enough players.

Any thoughts?

[Kathe]

As a parent of 6, I have seen coaching like you described. I would have a team meeting and lay it out to the kids. 9 & 10 year olds are old enough and I'll bet they will come to a good decison to just forfeit. You are not doing it to get out of playing, but to make a statement for fair playing practices. Maybe it will get the attention the higher ups.

Kathe

[Enlightened]

So should we play, or should I make a statement and refuse to?
Any thoughts?

The best statement you could send to your kids is to play fair with integrity and beat the other team. Just beat them. I'd alert the referee and other game officials to watch for the illegal defensive moves.

If their coaches talk trash to your kids I'd call a time out, s-l-o-w-l-y walk across the field to the other coaches and then tell them that you don't appreciate adults talking trash to 10 year old kids. Be sure to say this loud enough so the officials and parents can hear your complaints.

If the other team's coaches histrionics and cheating continues after you've called them on it and pretty much everyone is aware of your position you can always forfeit during the game. This would send a strong message to the league and also deny the other team a victory on the field.

FYI, I coach baseball in that age bracket and have seen my share of aggressive coaches that live vicariously through their kids. Believe me, the best thing you can do for your kids is to beat the other team and then point out that you did it fair-and-square and without a lot of blather.

[C. Little]

The best statement you could send to your kids is to play fair with integrity and beat the other team. Just beat them. I'd alert the referee and other game officials to watch for the illegal defensive moves.

If their coaches talk trash to your kids I'd call a time out, s-l-o-w-l-y walk across the field to the other coaches and then tell them that you don't appreciate adults talking trash to 10 year old kids. Be sure to say this loud enough so the officials and parents can hear your complaints.

If the other team's coaches histrionics and cheating continues after you've called them on it and pretty much everyone is aware of your position you can always forfeit during the game. This would send a strong message to the league and also deny the other team a victory on the field.

FYI, I coach baseball in that age bracket and have seen my share of aggressive coaches that live vicariously through their kids. Believe me, the best thing you can do for your kids is to beat the other team and then point out that you did it fair-and-square and without a lot of blather.

I fully understand and agree with you. These guys are to the level that if I walked over and said that, I would not be surprised if I were to get a swing taken at me. It is a REALLY bad situation.

My feeling is that if every coach just refused to play them, they would have to go away, because they would never get to play a game.

[Brick]

Now we have gone through the playoffs are set to play them again, and I don't know what I should do. They have beaten us twice, but I know exactly how to beat them, and I really think we could knock them off, but truthfully I don't know what would happen if we did. These guys are truly whacky.

Kids are gonna get exposed to stuff like that sooner or later and are gonna have to learn to deal with it. I'd be tempted to play them anyway especially if I felt I had a shot at beating them. Just remind your guys that if they really want to annoy the other team and their coaches, score points, don't sink to their level. I think that by forefitting you're teaching them to quit when the going gets tough.

I've dealt with screamer coaches all my life. You get used to it. Sometimes it motivates me and sometimes it doesn't. For me when my coach growled at me when I got off the ice after a bad shift I felt motivated to do better next time. Sometimes getting yelled it pissed me off so much I put that energy into the next shift, sometimes I yelled back. In the end for me, the coaches I had that screamed at me the most turned out to be some of my best friends later in life and were men I grew to respect cause they usually had a passion about the game.

Trash talking is something I'll admit I hate, with a passion, but it has its uses in a game. It can keep someone off their A game be a valid tactic. The my best example was in a doubles tennis match with some friends of mine. We were all good friends, the three of them were on their college team and I had played a little recreationally. I was outclassed and outta shape. After we selected partners, the two other guys had great power serves, when they got it in. My partner and I had better ball control, but not so much in the power department. Between serves we'd snicker and stuff when they'd miss their serve, which usually got them to miss their next one, but then there were times it would go through and they'd usually get the point. In the end my partner and I won cause we were able to keem them out of the game mentally. The other team tired to get under our skin as well, but we had a better head for it and it didn't bother us. So my thoughts is that if you're gonna play sports you are gonna have to learn about trash talking and how to deal with it.

[WVBORN56]

Goliath trashed talked to the Israelites and David stood up to them. God does not like cowards not that you are being a coward but the best way to defeat these trash talking bullies is to beat them at their own game.

Another example that comes to mind is Joshua spying out the land. The land was full of Giants but Joshua still wanted to go in and take the land.

Jesus did not talk back to his mockers he simply went to the cross silent as a lamb before its shearer. Maybe you will even be a sacrificial lamb but your silent witness will prevail in the end.

Good luck with whatever you decide. Ask the Lord what to do and he will guide your decision.

[racercorey28]

number one this just a game ive the other coach allows his asst. coach to taunt your players during this game alert the officals if this does not work pull your players and stop the game. i have been a basketball and baseball offical for 20 years and i would not allow any trash talk , so if the officals cant control the game pull your team and forfiet because if it is allowed to continue more trouble will statr so avoid it pull your team because this is not the superbowl and nothing much would be lost.

[RememberTheName]

Get the parents of the kids to help in the talks with the YMCA. Things like that shouldn't be tolerated and in my opinion, the team should be disqualified.

Pray about it. God will show you a way.

If the other coaches have to taunt both you AND your players, he's gotta be pretty insecure of himself. Don't let it get to you, talk to the kids about it, and let them know that they do that because the feel like they can't win. That'll give the kids a morale boost.

... I do this on Xbox Live all the time, talking with my friends and the other team on various games. Tune them out, take it for what it is (insecurity) and stomp the pants off of 'em.