prayer request for 15 year old son

[topekaclark]

I debated where to put this. We are the proud parents of a 15 year old son who just received his report mid card. A little history, he has an IEP (ADD) in place, which he has had since 1st grade. Saying that he is a highly intelligent kid, in fact he got on the honor roll last year which surprised the heck out of us. I know he struggles but can maintain C or higher. I also know he has problems staying organized.

Our view if you are really trying, communicating with everyone (us and teachers), turning all assignments in and still bring home a D or lower you will not be in trouble.

Well his grades took a huge drop to D's and 1 F. I talked to him, calmly, asking what happened??? He said he thought he was doing fine and doesn't understand what happen. Even though he has missing assignments and didn't ask for any help.

Every school year he ends up grounded, as he is now. I'm thinking it's not effective now, he is use to this cycle. I'm going to talk to his IEP person, honestly I dealt with her last year and so was not helpful. I think because he is not a behavior problem (she has stated this) that he goes under her radar and she doesn't know this stuff until I call the school, stressed out.

The school he goes to is a rougher school with different issues. I'm not happy is at that school but I think any school we would be in the same boat. He has never liked school from day one.


I'm afraid he is going to get behind and want to drop out eventually. I've tried to transfer him to a different school but in our district I have been unable to do this.

I do home-school the 6th and 3rd grader. I know I am capable and they are showing success since I started. He is a sophomore and doesn't want to be homeschooled.

I asked about drugs, alcohol, problems at school. Nothing has come up. He doesn't go out often and when he does, he hangs out with the same kid. I know where he is at all times (home 90% of the time) so I know that isn't the issue.

Honestly we are lost of what to do. I would appreciate any advice and prayers. How do I get his attention??

[topekaclark]

Sounds like a motivational issue..we have many of those here. Do you or have you used a rewards system? daily and weekly?

What are his interests? I realize they are probably limited but I am sure there are a few.

What kinda if any physical activity is he involved in?

Motivation is a huge issue. My view he has to focus because I can't be there when he is an adult. I don't mind staying on top of him but he has to take responsibility. I took his drum set away hoping that would get him moving.

He did go off his meds this summer, which I supported. Last month, I talked with him and he decided he needed them in the morning. I was under the impression he was taking them. Well he isn't. He doesn't want to take them but it does help him focus. Even on them he will have issues at times but not on this level, usually in 1 or 2 classes.

He is in the band at school and active in youth group at church. I have tired several sports since he was young, he disliked everyone. That's not who he is even though he's built like a football player. lol

He was going to get his driver's permit but I told him no. I'm trying to find something, anything to affect him. :scratch

I even asked if he wanted to take more resources classes. He said no, I understand because he was in one last year, Biology and he aced the class because it was too easy.

I'm hs our 8 yr who has the same issues. She's not on meds but I have adapted her school work for her issues. Whom am I kidding, he's capable, get off the pity pot. I just wish he would understand he is making things hard on himself.

Thanks for the prayers and advice.

Kellie

[AllforHim]

:hug I'll be praying :pray

[wife]

Motivation is a huge issue. My view he has to focus because I can't be there when he is an adult. I don't mind staying on top of him but he has to take responsibility. I took his drum set away hoping that would get him moving.

He did go off his meds this summer, which I supported. Last month, I talked with him and he decided he needed them in the morning. I was under the impression he was taking them. Well he isn't. He doesn't want to take them but it does help him focus. Even on them he will have issues at times but not on this level, usually in 1 or 2 classes.

He is in the band at school and active in youth group at church. I have tired several sports since he was young, he disliked everyone. That's not who he is even though he's built like a football player. lol

He was going to get his driver's permit but I told him no. I'm trying to find something, anything to affect him. :scratch

I even asked if he wanted to take more resources classes. He said no, I understand because he was in one last year, Biology and he aced the class because it was too easy.

I'm hs our 8 yr who has the same issues. She's not on meds but I have adapted her school work for her issues. Whom am I kidding, he's capable, get off the pity pot. I just wish he would understand he is making things hard on himself.

Thanks for the prayers and advice.

Kellie


You are right, you won't be able to push him when he is an adult, but he isn't an adult now, he is still a kid and it is our job as parents to make sure that they can handle the adult world and he just isn't ready. I see nothing wrong with rewards. In the adult world if a job is well done it is rewarded (in most cases at least).

This is just my opinion