need some encouragment from other moms

[ready4Him]

my dd is 7 months old and I am having a real hard time adjusting to motherhood. I stay home with her and the days seem to drag on and on. and I just feel depressed all the time. I miss my old life with dh and I feel like we will never be close again. the baby still hasn't slept through the night and I am considering quitting breastfeeding because she wakes up every 3-4 hours to nurse so I am thinking I can just start formula and slowly reduce the amount in the bottle. Im not sure if this will work, but I am so desperate for sleep I will try anything at this point. any ideas? I am so tired I just go to bed right after dinner because I know that I will be getting up in a few hours anyway. dh and I never have any time together anymore and we just don't understand why anybody would ever have more than one child. I love her very much but I never expected to be this exhausted after 7 months. I just don't know how to stop the night feedings without hearing her scream for hours I find motherhood to be depressing and isolating. I never go anywhere anymore because a routine and schedule is stressed so much by "sleep experts" so I try to have her take naps and go to bed the same time everyday. I just don't know what to do. will I ever sleep again? I have been sick with something or another since thanksgiving because my immune system is so worn down from lack of sleep. And not that I would EVER really do it but I now understand why moms start doing drugs just to get through the days.

[lisa]

:hug Bless your heart, sis.

I'm not a mom. My sister has a baby a bit younger than yours and she's had the same problem with getting her to sleep at night. Turns out my sister was drinking caffeinated drinks during the day (because she was so tired) and this was passing through to the baby. As soon as she stopped drinking caffeine, the baby started sleeping at night with no other modifcations. I wish there was something else I could offer you. I'll be praying for you, and praying that some of the mom-members have some good advice for you. :hug

[Birdwoman]

A couple of ideas from a mom of four grown sons. 1. This too shall pass...just a reminder that this doesn't last forever. 2. Join a Bible Study that has free baby sitting or a MOPS group or something to get you out with other young moms. 3. Is your baby on solids yet? if not, start. If so, give her a bit of cereal before bed. 4. You might consider cutting back on the daytime naps a bit .5. I agree with Lisa, caffeine passes into the milk and can keep your baby awake. It's been awhile so I'm not up on any current tricks.
If you can afford one, hire a sitter and go out with your hubby for a date night.Or trade babysitting with another mom.

[wife]

Don't let the schedule hinder you from going out. My kids were on a tight schedule and they adapted to us being on the road a lot. I agree with giving her a bit of cereal before bed.
My oldest son was sleeping all night early on, but around 6 months he started waking up and wanting a bottle. I gave him water. I think he realized that he wasn't worth it. She may be waking out of habit and not really being hungry. Just try going into her room and patting her on the back or sing to her (or even rock her) for a bit and see if she goes back to sleep.

[markofthebest]

I have 4 children - 26, 23, 6 and 4. Been there and done that. It is not going to hurt to go out - babies sleep anywhere...car seats, strollers, etc.

As far as the night feedings - do you feed enough at each feeding? May you should up the ounces and little missy will sleep longer between feedings.

One other thing - 2 are easier then one....they play with each other and don't expect you to play Barbies or Cars with them as much as an any child does.

[Birdwoman]

I missed the bit about the schedules. Don't focus so much on that.By the time you have the third baby all schedules go out the window and those younger ones do just fine. She may need to skip one of those day time naps. Some babys just don't need as much sleep as others.If you have spent 7 months cooped up at home no wonder you are going stir crazy. Get out, go do stuff and take her with you. My youngest ( now 23) went to a basketball game when he was 9 days old.

[wife]

I missed the bit about the schedules. Don't focus so much on that.By the time you have the third baby all schedules go out the window and those younger ones do just fine. She may need to skip one of those day time naps. Some babys just don't need as much sleep as others.If you have spent 7 months cooped up at home no wonder you are going stir crazy. Get out, go do stuff and take her with you. My youngest ( now 23) went to a basketball game when he was 9 days old.

We took our middle to an outdoor flea market at 2 weeks...... we got some stares..LOL

I had all my kids on a schedule, but we were still flexible.

[Sing4Him]

Sounds like you need sleep and also some time for yourself.

It is not a horrible thing to stop nursing now. I nursed mine til 6 mos old.
Also.. I bet a little cereal in the bottle will do the trick and make her sleep much longer.

Why not get a babysitter one evening a week and go out? Or, maybe someone during the day will baby sit for 3-4 hours so you can do something fun, just for you.

It seems you are overdo on doing something for yourself dear.
Praying the Lord gives you some much needed rest and also a safe babysitter.
:hug:pray:pray

[Sealed]

:hug I hear ya, sweetie. Hang in there. It IS hard work to take care of an infant. Lack of sleep is horrible
I remember days of going through motions like a zombie, unable to complete a thought. (My kids are now 11,9, and 5, btw)

You got some good advice above IMO. I have nothing elso to add, except hang in there. Well, here is one idea: When I switched to the bottle at about 6 months, DH would take turns getting up, sometimes, I would even sleep in the guest room so I wouldn't wake up when he got up to check on the baby. Maybe then DH would be able to give you a few nights off a week.

It does get easier. And do try to find a MOPS group or a study group with child care. Find out at what age mothers day out starts
at your church and get baby signed up for at least 1 or 2 mornings a week.

Praying for you and baby!!!

[antsinmypants]

:hug Hang in there!
Is there any way possible that you can listen to sermons or bible studies on CD/MP3? If so, I would greatly reccommend that and music to help lighten your day.

I haven't found a feasable way for us to do that just yet, but once baby is here I know I will need it greatly. I tend to get the 'blues' this time of year with the weather, and I have chronic fatigue which goes hand in hand with celiac disease... it tends to drag you down...:ohno

I find that having music playing softly in the background helps a LOT. It doesn't matter if it has lyrics or is instrumental.. and I found that listening to the bible quietly during the day also helped in that department.


Spend time repairing your insides by feeding your soul... it will help in the long run with your sense of frustration and stress levels.

I wouldn't worry too much about scheduling yet with your LO... after all, babies are always growing, and sometimes they need more food than other times, so they'll want to nurse longer or at funky times.

Mine right now has decided that 10pm to 2am is fair game to have me up and eating - and he or she is still in utero! I have classes this week, and last night baby had me up so early to eat, and then so late to eat that I wasn't able to go to class today - I was too exhausted. :fear I slept until 11am.

Are you still taking vitamins while you are breastfeeding? If not, I would make sure you're getting enough folic acid, magnesium and B vitamins... those can really take a toll if you aren't getting enough. Definitely talk to your OB/GYN and Primary care, and your Pediatrician... they can help sometimes more than you think, and be a comfort as they have seen us ladies like this all the time they've been in practice :hug

Also, is baby eating enough when BF'ing? sometimes they need to nurse longer than the reccommended times... and sometimes babies are sated faster and just need more frequent feedings.

Can you get together with a friend maybe once every other week and have 'girl talk' time? Even if it is at your home with baby asleep, or in a sling nursing - that can be such a great comfort because you know you aren't alone.

Can your DH help with feedings? I'm sure that would be an invaluable help to you, as well as great bonding with baby time for him. Mine is so 'clingy' now to baby, I wonder if I will see him/her when they arrive. I think DH will 'snatch off' with baby and not return until it needs a changing... because I carried baby for 9 months and he didn't. :lol2

Remember, Laughter is an awesome medicine. If you can get your hands on it - get some Chonda Pierce videos or CDs - and if you are strapped for $ right now, go look her up on youtube... and look up Anita Renfroe while you are at it.

When I get really low, I find that having these valves of release are a life saver. Sometimes just talking to a willing listener helps, even if it is just a wall or a stuffed animal...
If I can't talk to my sister or mom online, sometimes I write long emails - and sometimes I just talk and release the stress.

Don't be afraid to cry either. Sometimes we just need to release that valve - and after a good cry you feel much, much better. :hug

But really, do try and look into setting up some music and the bible to listen to - and you'll find that it really helps. You may also notice that it creates a calmer environment for your baby as well.