:scratch Two year olds behavior

[cbressler1976]

I am completely at a loss about what to do....my two year old Alexander does not do well in public! We went to Chuckie Cheese's today and he kept on running off! and when I try to hold his had he screams and kicks until I let it go and he runs off again..Then when he sees a game that he likes he pushes the other kid out of the way to get to the game... parents look at me like I have the worst kid in the world! then I try and put him in his stroller to go home and he screams and I have to fight to keep him in it.... I am constantly running after him and looking for him... My older one never did this... so I don't understand why he does? what could I be doing wrong? How do I stop him from running off? I can't even hold his hand while we cross the road...I have to pick him up...

[Cookies4me]

:hug
so sorry you are having to go though this. My son hid :uhuh in situations like this.

I do have a friend who had to pull her daughter off of dairy due to behavior like this.

:hug

[Cd4u_2]

I am completely at a loss about what to do....my two year old Alexander does not do well in public! We went to Chuckie Cheese's today and he kept on running off! and when I try to hold his had he screams and kicks until I let it go and he runs off again..Then when he sees a game that he likes he pushes the other kid out of the way to get to the game... parents look at me like I have the worst kid in the world! then I try and put him in his stroller to go home and he screams and I have to fight to keep him in it.... I am constantly running after him and looking for him... My older one never did this... so I don't understand why he does? what could I be doing wrong? How do I stop him from running off? I can't even hold his hand while we cross the road...I have to pick him up...


HAHAHA... you expect him to behave himself after seeing other kids playing :) (JK, of course) Kids do get extra excited that they can't even listen to their parents

I would just leave once if he disobey. he is two years old, I don't think he knows better except to test his limit. It's more of a personality. Usually, you will have a easy kid and a hard kid. I bet every parents will tell you that each of their kids were different.

oh and ignore his scream.. pretend he isn't screaming, he won't scream forever.... unless you give in. If you do, you just trained him how to scream to get what he want. :)

[chel0524]

I use the littel harness leash thing on my little ones. I always swore before I had kids that I'd never use them. Then I took our first child out of town to a mall in a bigger city and had to try to keep up with her while there.

Those little leash things are great! It's kind of a trick for the kids too.

[LivingbyFaith]

I am completely at a loss about what to do....my two year old Alexander does not do well in public! We went to Chuckie Cheese's today and he kept on running off! and when I try to hold his had he screams and kicks until I let it go and he runs off again..Then when he sees a game that he likes he pushes the other kid out of the way to get to the game... parents look at me like I have the worst kid in the world! then I try and put him in his stroller to go home and he screams and I have to fight to keep him in it.... I am constantly running after him and looking for him... My older one never did this... so I don't understand why he does? what could I be doing wrong? How do I stop him from running off? I can't even hold his hand while we cross the road...I have to pick him up...

Hi cb1976,
I have 4 sons,and my oldest(who is 15 now) and my youngest(who just turned 6) were the exact same way as your son;my youngest is actually alot more so-as soon as he learned how to walk he was off and running!!! I really believe that for the most part it's probably just his personality,I know my youngest is just very full of energy and is very competitive. He behaves well at home or school,but if we go to the grocery store or out to eat he still tries to do the same thing as your son.

One thing that I've had to do(even though at the moment it can be inconvenient)is,if he refuses to hold my hand while walking in the parking lot to the door,I grab ahold of him and promptly take him home and he gets to stay home with dad instead of go shopping with me(which he loves to do),and I mean as soon as you see any unwanted behaviour,like running away from you acting badly in a restaurant... just leave,and tell him that he has to go home since he won't behave. We were just in Wendy's,and my youngest proceeded to get up from the table and shoot paper wads out of his straw at people,I picked him up and sat him back in the seat and took his straw away and told him to finish his meal(I was still trying to finish mine too),but he got right back up-so I threw away all of his meal and frosty and said "I'm leaving,if you want a ride home you better come on" ,and I started walking to the door like I really was going to leave him there(this works well in a grocery store or whereever too)-the thing is to really make him think,ok she's really leaving and I had better go with her. Then I took him right home and he was not allowed to go with me for the rest of that day as I was running around doing errands.
Like I said,this can be an inconvenience at the time,but it really has helped tremendously with my son. I think it's all about taking charge of the situation and letting him see,fine,if you want to behave like this-then you won't be going out anywhere with me today. This has been the only thing that has helped,I've actuually had to leave a cart full of groceries before,but it does work.
Then,there's other times when I'll play along with him and have fun with him,like having a race to the doors of the store or van(once making sure the coast is clear) or acting a little goofy when eating out(as long as it's not packed with other people) and so he gets to see that there can be times where we can run and goof off,but not in every place nor in every situation.
When it's warmer out,I will alot of times take him to the park to run and play first before venturing out to public places,and this helps very much too! :smile :hug

[Cd4u_2]

if he won't eat, that mean he isn't hungry... he probably had a snack or something. For him to really sit and eat in public, make sure he goes really hungry.. Sometimes I have to starve my son just a little bit whenever there is a family gathering at a restaurant or a birthday party. Otherwise he won't eat and rather play.. which will make him misbehave when everyone else is trying to eat.

[dramama]

problem number 1: he's two!
problem number 2: he won't be like big brother, he's an individual!
problem number 3: next year he'll be three!

But seriously, I know your pain, had three boys myself. I had to find what worked in each situation with each individual child (which takes a lot of scheeming, planning, work and trial and error)....can't give any advice other than to try various things starting with what livingbyfaith said...if you can't behave we have to leave. Not fun for you, but maybe he'll get the message.
You know him better than anyone, what does he like and dislike? what calms him down or gets him riled up? Using your knowledge of him against him is your only tool I'm afraid....and he's entering some difficult ages for you....
now that I have been no help at all, I'll bow out and see what wisdom others have for you...:wave

[Heartstorm]

I did the walking out thing too, just got up and left no matter where or what we were doing. Surprizingly it only took a few walk outs before she learned that bad behavior got her ZIP. Just a car ride home to her room and down for some alone time, The trick is to do it right away, everytime, no warnings, just pick them up and head to the car! We left groceries, lunch,play dates, parties,until she learned to behave. Those 2 years olds are tough, but her 3's about did me in !!!! :hehee

[antsinmypants]

I use the littel harness leash thing on my little ones. I always swore before I had kids that I'd never use them. Then I took our first child out of town to a mall in a bigger city and had to try to keep up with her while there.

Those little leash things are great! It's kind of a trick for the kids too.

Mom did that with us when I was little.. I'm 26 now ;)

I seem to remember that I was one of those that just would 'take off running' no matter where we went, and with my brother being so young but so heavy, she couldn't push him in a stroller AND chase me.
So, she got the leash. There's only so many times as a little one on one of those that you attempt to make a break for it.

Plus I seem to remember getting a good talking to when I did try the 'break and run' or if I threw a tantrum or did the drop and kick at mom/dad thing.. and those were sooo not fun. :fear
At two and three years old I was really stubborn and headstrong, and if I got something in my mind that I was going to try and do, I tried, and I pushed limits like *crazy*.

I am not certain, but I'm pretty sure I did as a baby too... :thinking

I've babysat and looked after little ones that will test your limit and push the envelope as young as 1... give you that look and inch towards what you said 'no' and removed out of their reach.. or if they do the little crocodile tears and sniff... and then when you look away test the look in a mirror and break out in full wail...:rolleyes

I've seen it in stores too.. I just can't stand it, and I have one on the way :ohno I used to say things to kids when their mom's would be struggling in the store with another little one like 'Do you know that you're embarrassing your mommy? You need to behave because you can get hurt if you're away from her - you're so tiny that people might trip over you..' or something to that effect.

Mom used to do the 'I'll count to 10' thing too.. I pushed that one until she'd get somewhere like 9 and 7/8ths... :lol2


Trust me, walking out of a store towing a kid when they know you're not happy -- is an effective tool. It nips that one right in the bud. Mom and my grandparents used that one rather effectively.

It'd be a little more tricky here in Germany since you pay to use grocery carts.. but I think it would get the point across big time. People here are more apt to tell you your kid is being annoying than to help the situation..

I forget what it was that made us finally hold hands with our parents, if it was a lecture or that and spankings, the walk outs or what.. but eventually all three of us could go out for some shopping outings and hold onto the grocery cart and walk along without too much trouble..

[Mrsppmrxky]

One thing that you might do, if you don't already. When getting ready to go somewhere, sit down on his eye level and make eye contact. Talk to him and tell him that you are going to the store. You expect him to hold your hand when you walk to the car and for him to behave with no fussing in his car seat.

When you get to the store, before you get him out of the car, again on eye level, tell him you expect him to hold your hand in the parking lot and for him to sit quietly in the shopping cart. Explain to him at this point what the consequence will be if he doesn't cooperate with you. THEN: Make him repeat back to you what you just said so that you and he both know he understands the instructions.

Then follow through with the consequences even if it makes it difficult. Don't give him a second chance. That just teaches him to know that he can misbehave so many times before you blow your top.

When he does good, like holding your hands, praise him about being such a big boy and how proud you are that he is minding. This will give him incentive to cooperate (hopefully) for the rest of the shopping trip.

We always did our shopping and if the store had a toy section, we would save that as a reward to go through and look at the toys. (We would tell them before we went that it was a reward to go and look, but that we were not buying toys today so don't ask.)

Parenting really isn't for the faint at heart! When you see a gray headed person, don't assume that is just old age..........WE have earned every one of them! LOL