Help!

[ForeverHis]

I am only 2 years saved myself and I have this unbelieving friend who is always turning to me with his struggles in life. In fact, I am unable to have a conversation with him that doesn't turn into some negativity about his abusive father or his ex-girlfriend from 10 years ago. I know how much he is hurting inside because I have also suffered in my life (everyone has) but he just doesn't want to hear about only thing I know that can deliver him from his suffering, Jesus. I find that talking to him can sometimes be very draining and brings me down. I am continually praying for his salvation and that the Lord give me the strength I need to be there for him but last week I feel that I failed him (and the Lord) when I told him that if he didn't want to hear about Jesus I didn't want to hear about his pain and suffering any longer. I even referred him to a psychologist (secular) which is something I am totally opposed to because I know that true healing once and for all can only come from Jesus. I won't tell him the things the world would tell him such as "you have to find peace in yourself" or "you need to get to know and love yourself" because that is not truth. I ask for your prayers and any scripture you may have to offer. Am I a bad Christian for wanting to distance myself from this person even if I continue to pray for him?

[willow]

This is a tough situation. I would say continue to pray for him of course, and witnessing to him also. But there is always the deal of you can lead a horse to water but...you know the rest. It matters not whether anyone else thinks you are a "bad" Christian. In truth, there is no such thing. There are GROWING Christians. We are works in progress. I will pray that you will become STRONGER in the Lord thru this, and that your friend will somehow FIND the Great Physician. Try this..the next time he starts with a negative rant, just remain silent on the subject. Instead, say something positive about a totally different subject. He should see that he is not getting the "desired" reaction of double despair.

[jadeeyes]

FoereverHis, I would like to encourage you that every time you've told your friend about Jesus, you have been planting seeds. I've spent years planting seeds to grow into faith in my Mother and I've spent years praying for her. I believe she will eventually be lead to the Lord. Maybe someone else will do the leading, but I've been planting the seeds. I used to feel like a failure because I couldn't make her believe. I've since realized that I can plant seeds and I can pray for the lost, but I can't save anyone. Only God can save and I believe that He will save her. However, if she never humbles herself to believe and trust the Lord, I know that I have done what I was called to do. You have also done what you were called to do. Continue to plant those seeds and continue to pray for your friend and trust God to do the rest.:thumb

[run2Jesus]

I think the above posts were excellent! :thumb There is nothing more distressing than to try to share your wonderful free gift of God's most precious sacrifice----our salvation, only to be ignored. You feel like it's all your fault. Apparently you didn't use the right words or the right approach. Believe me, it's none of that. When you are witnessing, the Holy Spirit is doing the wooing. It's nothing you did. Your frustration is only part of your humaness. We can be spirit-filled and still be human enough to be frustrated by repeated willful ignorance from our listeners. Like jadeeyes said, you've planted the seed. Leave the work to Jesus now and don't you worry.:hug

[A Berean]

P.S- You do NOT have to inflict a negative influence upon yourself, either. He's not someone you MUST have in your life. Sometimes we just have to say our piece with certain people, pray for them, and then MOVE ON. He does not want the only answer that would help him, and that is really all you have to give. Give this person to the Lord and distance yourself for your own sake and his. Jesus Christ is the ONLY Savior of people, not other people:hug! You did GOOD:thumb!

[ForeverHis]

Thank you all for your words of encouragement and prayers. I was feeling some guilt over the fact that I wanted to distance myself from him because of the negative influence he was having on me and I know very well that guilt does not come from the Lord.

Every morning I wake up and fight my own battle to overcome depression and negative thoughts and pray to be filled with the Holy Spirit so I can live my day in Christ to shine His light in the darkness of other people's lives. All I need to do is continue to love my friend. I don't have to get sucked into the darkenss with him (I think that's what satan is trying to do).

Willow, I will surely take your advice and just change the subject to something positive when he starts with the negative talk and encourage the others in our circle of friends to do the same .

The sad thing is everyone has just about had it with him, and are ready to give up on him because he brings everyone down all the time. I even got a little flack last week for inviting him to lunch with us. Some have even commented that they are concerned that he might snap and do something crazy some day very soon. If that's the case then now is certainly not the time to abandon him.

Again thank you so much. I really needed to get a Christian view of this situation as none of the people involved here are belivers and I don't quite agree with their ideas on how to deal with him.

[ForeverHis]

Here's an update...Good news!

Since my last post I have stepped back from my friend. He tried to get together with me for lunch a couple of times but I was able to tell him that I had already made plans to go with others and I already learned my lesson in inviting him to tag along. On Thursday he planned ahead and asked me to lunch in advance and I agreed to go with him which was great because it allowed me time to prepare spiritually for this meeting. I prayed for the Lord to speak to him through me if that was His will and asked others to pray for me as well. I chose a quiet little restaraunt a little further away from work than we would normally go that had booths so he would feel more comfortable if things got emotional. He started talking and it didn't take long before he started demonizing the people in his life. I gently told him that I didn't come here to listen to him talk about other people but to talk about him. He admitted to me that he has always had a co-dependent personality which to him is like an addiction that he can't control ruining all of his relationships. My response was that he has a hole in his heart that can only be filled by the love of Jesus and until he comes to terms with that he will always feel empty and continue to seek to fill that void in the wrong places and be dissapointed every time. I told him how Jesus, unlike the people in this world (including myself) loves him unconditionally and there is nothing he can do that will drive Him away. With Jesus, the more needy you are the better, that's what he wants from us, to depend on Him completely for everything. There is no person alive on this earth who is capable of doing that because we all have a sinful selfish nature. I could see him getting agitated and ready to give me the old, "I really respect your faith but I just don't believe in that stuff" speech when I asked him why he came to me. He paused for a moment and said "you are the only person I know who cares enough to tell me the truth even when I don't want to hear it"


Praise the Lord!!