Talking about People

[goinghome]

I have a WOF family member who constantly is saying we are not to talk about people. In her mind this applies to errant preachers, people who are openly sinning or harming others or something somebody has said or done which is wrong, etc. One example she used was if there is a rapist in the family nobody is to speak about it and we are only supposed to pray for that person, but I said they should talk about it because there could be children in danger or a wife who could get a disease, etc. I think she takes it too far and I would like your opinions. I understand gossipers and slanderers are wrong according to scripture but I need help in helping her see the difference. Do any of you have any ideas? I don't recall in the Bible anywhere that it says we are not to talk about people. Help! Thanks for any answers you might have.

[BelovedChild]

While talking about people is not a good idea (I have been guilty of this in the past, so I cannot throw stones), I would suggest that such info as a rapist etc be on a needs to know basis. In other words, tell people in order for them to protect themselves and their children.

However, I would make sure of the facts first before passing on information. Otherwise, an innocent person's reputation may be irreparably damaged.

It would be a good idea for all of us, to consider whether anything we are tempted to pass on is really necessary, whether it breaks confidentiality,a or whether it is hurtful. If it is, don't.

[goinghome]

Thanks for the response, I'd like to clarify that this isn't just passing on info., it is even if both parties already know something, they cannot discuss it either.

[BelovedChild]

If a discussion is between two people who could be sure that the information will go no further, then it is not gossip. However, we still need to be careful to stick to the facts.

[Obadiah]

goinghome:

Ask your WoF relative to explain the following:

You are aware that all who are in Asia, among them Phygelus and Hermogenes, have turned away from me. (2 Timothy 1:15)

Alexander the coppersmith did me great harm; may the Lord requite him for his deeds. Beware of him yourself, for he strongly opposed our message. (2 Timothy 4:14)

Certain persons have made shipwreck of their faith, among them Hymenaeus and Alexander, whom I have delivered to Satan that they may learn not to blaspheme. (1 Timothy 1:20)

I have written something to the church; but Diotrephes, who likes to put himself first, does not acknowledge my authority. So if I come, I will bring up what he is doing, prating against me with evil words. And not content with that, he refuses himself to welcome the brethren, and also stops those who want to welcome them and puts them out of the church. (3 John 9-10)

Does this sound like the apostles strictly forbade speaking negatively about anyone?

[goinghome]

Thank you, this is good and I'll certainly use it. It's so hard to talk to them, it's like their minds are steel traps or something. I really appreciate these responses.

[LoudRam]

Try showing them this.

Rom 16:17 Now I beseech you, brethren, mark them which cause divisions and offences contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned; and avoid them.

[harvest]

Mat 18:15 "Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother.
Mat 18:16 "But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that 'by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.'

Also, Paul rebukes Peter...

Gal 2:11 Now when Peter had come to Antioch, I withstood him to his face, because he was to be blamed;
Gal 2:12 for before certain men came from James, he would eat with the Gentiles; but when they came, he withdrew and separated himself, fearing those who were of the circumcision.
Gal 2:13 And the rest of the Jews also played the hypocrite with him, so that even Barnabas was carried away with their hypocrisy.
Gal 2:14 But when I saw that they were not straightforward about the truth of the gospel, I said to Peter before them all, "If you, being a Jew, live in the manner of Gentiles and not as the Jews, why do you compel Gentiles to live as Jews?

[Paidfor]

Publicly rebuking elders

1Ti 5:20 Those who continue in sin, rebuke in the presence of all, so that the rest also will be fearful of sinning.