A Mom w/a ? 4 Married Men

[Eternally]

I have a 23 yr old son that has been dating a girl for 2 years. They are talking marriage. Both very strongly believe in til death do us part, etc.

My concern...... that only men can answer...

She takes a LONG time getting ready to go.....

She is a primper? Big time get everything just right woman?

I can't relate.... I call myself a rebellious grown up hippie. I brush and go. If it is a work day, church or very special event, I will wear foundation, blush and mascara.

So he grew up with a brush and go mom.

She has made him arrive at pro and college games after tip off or kick off.

TOday, the four of us were staying overnight for a pro basketball game. We got to the game and in our seats 30 seconds before tipoff.

We were to meet for beakfast at 9am. We went slow cause we knew they weren't ready.... they got down there at 9:50.

Son is SO sweet with her. He is very kind and understanding,...

I am afraid he will grow irritated with her taking so long or not starting early enough to get going?

Should I have concerns? They are 2 peas in a pod and are really devoted to each other.

How do YOU handle this kind of situation and how long have you been dealing with it? Does she learn to not make you late for your favorite team?

Once, they didn't make it to a college football game until the 2nd quarter!

[lisaann]

I know I'm not a man but my sil is like this. It is rude and self-centered. Personally, I've left my sil when she didn't meet me at the appointed time. I told her ahead of time that if she wasn't there on time then I was leaving with or without her. She knows to be on time with me now. :heh

He should probably talk to her in a loving calm way about this and tell her how inconsiderate it is. She may not realise how annoying it is. If she does realise it and does nothing about it then I would be alarmed at this character flaw for a future dil. This is a personal pet peeve of mine. There is no excuse to be chronically late.

[LoudRam]

If it bothers him, he needs to talk about it now or there's a good chance they will fight about it later. My wife takes forever to get ready too.

[antitox]

I know I'm not a man but my sil is like this. It is rude and self-centered. Personally, I've left my sil when she didn't meet me at the appointed time. I told her ahead of time that if she wasn't there on time then I was leaving with or without her. She knows to be on time with me now. :heh

You're handling that right.

Once they know you won't tolerate that behavior, it is possible to get them to tighten up. But if people put up with it, she's definitely going to do it till the cows come home.

As long as the son puts up with that behavior, he's going to have many years of delay and friends will get irritated with them and may stop inviting them because of it.

[I'm all 67X]

My house is like Barbie and that Brawny character...not quite Grizzly Adams...but similar in the way we are. After 15 years, she has quickened the pace a bit, and if she needs that extra time now, she starts earlier. I'd let them work it out for themselves. I think you'll only end up driving yourself nuts over something you can't control or influence.

Even my brother is a habitual dawdler- who married a laid back dawdler...it's just how they are. To counteract, we tell them we are meeting an hour before we actually have plans, then they are almost on time! It's super annoying to the punctual, but we deal with it.

[Just Dave]

My Mom is like that, I believe it's a control thing and your son will probably never change her. If he stays with her, he should get used to being late everywhere they go. That being said, you need to stay out of it, it's your son's business and he needs to be the one to deal with it. They will both resent your interference.

[Sing4Him]

Is this your son's issue??:scratch

[Eternally]

I have NO idea, I know not to bring it up.

I know he is flustered sometimes, but tries not to show it,.

[Issachar]

There are two extremes in this matter of being on time. One is always late because other's time doesn't seem to matter to them and at the other end are folks who wouldn't help an accident victim crying for help just so they could be on time.

I believe that one should make a serious attempt at being on time for appointments/schedules, but at the same time, it's not the end of life as we know it if we have to wait a little sometimes for someone.

I'm actually working on a book that will likely never be published called, "The Clock Driven Life". It was inspired by some (too many) folks I know who border on being depressed if something does not occur at the precise moment it was supposed to and will even start the backbiting thing. Let this not be so of believers. Perhaps a book could be written, and likely has in one form or another, called, "The Self Driven Life" concerning people that are so wrapped up in themselves that other's don't matter.

I have no use for the whole "primping" thing, but even so, that is not the problem. If she wants to do that, fine I suppose, but she needs to schedule the time for that. If they're talking marriage I assume they are likely at least in their early twenties which means she has been messin' around with primping for several years and should have handle on how long it takes. Does she work? Is she an hour or two late for that?

Issachar

Issachar

[Issachar]

BTW, the thread title made me leary of even opening this one. I don't know what w/a is. The "mom" and "4 men" was a bit scary though.

Issachar