romans224
March 18th, 2008, 01:24 PM
I just wanted to give as much praise to Jesus as I possibly can. I have gone through so much and still seem to be going through a lot. Since 2008 began things have gone beyond normal storm for me. I broke my foot in the beginning of the year and just now start therapy. Friction came in my marriage due to loss of time and since the accident was under worker's comp we received no income in January. Welfare and all government agencies could not help because they wanted proof of income. Which neither me nor my wife had at the time. Bills racked up things got darker then ever. Angrier creeped in to my heart, angry because I thought God had abandoned me. I cried out what did I do? Yeah we had food on the table and roof over our head but for how long? I knew that the bills were not paid and it was only a matter of time. Did God send us money to pay for the bills? No, I became more bitter because I know the promise He will ALWAYS PROVIDE, but it wasn't happening. We had a newborn baby boy Jan 21 and where was the formula coming from? My wife couldn't work. I decided to take matters in my own hands I am working forget the pain. Did the bills start getting paid? Yes, so since I am getting the bills paid I need to push harder to catch up. Unknowingly little by little my pride was blinding me of sin. I stopped prayer haven't gone to church and refused to be involved with the Lord. Needless to say He got my attention, I started getting sick and had worse pains. I barely slept or ate, I blamed God for all of it. My wife tried to help but also dealt with the greif of losing her only brother in Oct. 2007. I tried many times to turn back only to be pushed down with problems. I cried out why God why????? I want to turn from sin, to put you first but with things always hitting me how can I overcome. Up till just the other day the Lord finally answer my question. Because I was doing it on my own. I don't understand the ways the Lord works but I can trust Him, I need to stop looking at what I see here and now but rather put more and more trust in Jesus. If I were to lose my house would He really just leave me in the streets? If all we had was one loaf of bread to last for a week would He just watch? No!!! I don't know the things he speaks to each individual, I only know what He says to me. These problems will be worth going trough compared to an eternity in the presence of the Lord. When I look back I see God through a baby being born, a child smiling at me and telling me they are praying for my foot. A total stranger asking me for help and opening a door for me. A wife (without me knowing) praying for me. A daughter hugging me and telling me they love me. These were the things I took for granted but didn't realize what TRUE value they are because God was in each on of these. As Easter comes I just prayer for a renewal of myself. To be a leader, husband, and father as God has planned for me to be. God Bless and have a Great Holy week!!!