Need advice from Titus 2/Proverbs 31 women

[BeNotAfraid]

Edited

Sorry guys, tmi for the weirdos out there...

[funmudder]

:hug

Been there. It IS tough, especially with those ages. I want to recommend a book to you to help with the kids. It really does work, and it's Christian advice. If money is tight, I'll send you my copy ;)

Parenting with Love and Logic (http://www.overstock.com/Books-Movies-Music-Games/Parenting-With-Love-And-Logic/1611211/product.html).

Your biggest tool is your bud nipper. When they start losing control, nip it nip it nip it. You are the boss, not the children. Be tough now and it will pay later when they get bigger and more capable of grander chaos.

I'll keep your husband in our prayers. My hubbo is still new at being the man described in the Bible as a leader of the family, only about 3 years. That left me with kids almost teenagers before he stepped in.:panic The advice in this book can sound harsh, especially if you are the type to just give in if they whine long enough. I know I was. Just stick to it and you will thank yourself almost as much as your kids will thank you later. :wave

[MochaMel]

:hug

Been there. It IS tough, especially with those ages. I want to recommend a book to you to help with the kids. It really does work, and it's Christian advice. If money is tight, I'll send you my copy ;)

Parenting with Love and Logic (http://www.overstock.com/Books-Movies-Music-Games/Parenting-With-Love-And-Logic/1611211/product.html).

Your biggest tool is your bud nipper. When they start losing control, nip it nip it nip it. You are the boss, not the children. Be tough now and it will pay later when they get bigger and more capable of grander chaos.

I'll keep your husband in our prayers. My hubbo is still new at being the man described in the Bible as a leader of the family, only about 3 years. That left me with kids almost teenagers before he stepped in.:panic The advice in this book can sound harsh, especially if you are the type to just give in if they whine long enough. I know I was. Just stick to it and you will thank yourself almost as much as your kids will thank you later. :wave

Great advice Funmudder!!:thumb

I can only add that i will pray for your situation. :pray I am in a bit of a hurry -- but i want to add one thing -- I have been married to my hubby for almost 11 years now -- we had 3 kids' going into our marriage and now have our own 3 for a total of 4 left in the home.. Ranging in ages of 14, 9, 7, and 4 mths. -- i also homeschool and work p/t in the evenings 3 days a week. --

My hubby only in the last 6-8 mths. is really taking a lead in our house.. It has been a burden i have carried for many years with great difficulty as i was never created for that job.. Not saying God didn't equip me, as He did. But it was difficult, especially when they were much smaller.. The thing God told me some years back; pray, pray, pray -- and wait - in time he will come.. And he is slowly but surely; and the rewards have been very fruitful.. Don't give up as i almost did. I almost missed the victory by giving up that hubby would never come to it...:hug

Make sure to take some time for yourself if at all possible! It is SO very important at these ages.. Even if that is at bedtime, do it! :)

[pistis]

Just hang in there, marriage is always tougher with a husband who either works long hours or is away from home for weeks, months, due to his work. Be pro-active, do what you need to do to take care of your family while he's gone, you are responsible as well for what goes on in your household. You need to recognize it will not always be this way and stand on your committment of marriage, it is hard work now, but it won't always be like this. You can get through this, try to muscle through the rough times as much as possible, your children need you, and your husband needs you, even if he hasn't said that in a while, it sounds like its been rough on him too.

Is there anyway you can get some relief or assistance in the home? Perhaps a local teenager or housekeeper? If someone else can help out while your there perhaps cleaning doing laundry or helping with the kids perhaps one day a week or more, would that be something you use? Can you afford an aupaire or nanny type person for one or two days a week, twice a month? If you can, the hardest part would be finding the person. How about asking the church for someone who could help. There might be some enterprising teenage boys, girls who'd be able to for a minimal or no charge basis, maybe some other mom's. In my town there is a moms support group that meets weekly, maybe yours has one too.

Anyway, that might free you up enough to deal with the no respect problem with the older kids, or just take a breather and get centered again. With the kids, I've always employed the rule no means no, and if I ask you to do or don't do something and I have to say it a second time, then the consequences set in immediately (with no give in), like sitting in the naughty corner/time out chair. Maybe some of the other posters here have some other ideas that might help. Having three little ones all at once is a real handfull. Maybe waiting on the homeschool might be good for the family.

Hope this helps. You are doing a good thing by making your household a home and taking care of your kids, it may not seem like it now, but they do grow up all too soon.