AussieChristian
May 7th, 2008, 11:31 PM
I was brought up as a Catholic. However, my parents were not Church Goers, they just basically got me baptised and all the other Sacraments and then sent me off to Catholic school. I never really learned alot about God, Jesus and anything in particular from the Bible. Anyway about 16 I kinda went off the rails in a really big way. I commited so many sins against God I don't think I can really even remember them all or even describe how awful I was. Looking back knowing what I know now of course, I am horrified, shamed and humbled at how low and lost I got. I look back but and see a blind person stumbling around and a girl who was so so so ignorant. It seems like looking back at another person. Somehow I always got the feeling somebody was looking out at me.Kind of like the Dr. Seuss book Hortin Hears a Who when the little Who's are saying at the end over and over "We are her, We are Here". I think now (though I didn't realise at the time that God was telling me I AM HERE. No matter how close I got to getting myself killed or in serious trouble something always saved me. This thought niggled and niggled at the back of my mind for years. Anway by the time I got to 22 I had straightened out a fair bit (not wholly though). By 23 I had met my husband and by 24 had my first Son, James. This was the real turning point for me. I realised there was something bigger than me out there and I started reading everything I could from Buddhism to Near Death Experiencea to the Self-Realization Society.and heaps of other Faiths and Religions Ha! Talk about going around in circles and getting nowhere. I guess at the time I didn't know it but inside I was actually praying to be led to the right answer. Time passed and I had my second son, Peter and we had moved back home to Australia when I started reading the Left Behind Series and then started reading about the Baptist and other non-denominational Bible based faiths. It was actually a miracle I picked up the Left Behind Series in the first place. I was staying in a very small town with a very small library and I was actually looking in the section where they have ghost tales and vampire stories -that kind of thing. For some reason they had the Left Behind series there and something made me pull that book of the shelves even though the title didn't appeal to me at all. When I read how the characters in that book described Jeses, the way they prayed well, It opened my eyes and I finally had the answer I had always been seeking: Our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ was the answer. Praise God. I am still awe struck that God cared enough after all I did to lead me back to him. I know it didn't come from me, it came from the Good Lord. I realise now it is the most profound and special and sacred journey I will ever go on. I saw some time after that the poster of God's hands with the Bible quote "Behold, I will not forsake you, I have carved you in the palm of my hand." and I wept, I realised that that is what God had been trying to tell me all along. "I will not forsake you, I have carved you in the palm of my hand". This thought stays with me continually and it gives me Hope. I know now that with the Hope that the Lord gives there is nothing that cannot be overcome.I hope from now I can be the best soul that Jesus would want me to be. This is my simple prayer, One day at a time, the best I can be for the Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.:pray I have so much to be thankful for. Praise Jesus, Hallelujah