Really need some ideas

[soonhereturns]

I am struggling horribly with my house and trying to keep it clean and by clean I mean sanitary. With 11 kids it's not going to look like Martha Stewart lives here. Our biggest struggle is with our oldest kids and picking up after them selves. My husband is wanting me to put the 4 kids I am homeschooling back in school. I have tried chore charts, rewards, taking things away etc.. to no avail. They don't want to help. My oldest is my biggest help most days. She's 16. The next one is almost 14 and a boy. He's not much help. My 12 year old daughter seems to be going through some sort of rebellion but it's not verbal. She's very polite does not talk to us disrespectfully just doesn't do what we say a lot of times. My 10 yo son is probably the most compliant of our children and generally does what he's supposed to even when he's not told to do it. My 9 yo son is my biggest challenge right now and the twins, 4yo and 2yo like to help still. Being 8 weeks pregnant isn't making anything easier right now. I don't think there is anyone on here that has the number of kids I have but I would love to know what has motivated stubborn children, especially teens and tweens if any of you have some. I'd look to the Duggars but their kids seem to be so compliant and calm and totally opposite of my active bunch.

[NewWorldOrder]

Don't let what you see on television about the Duggars mislead you. On TV you see what they want you to see. I'm sure, with that many kids, there is some discourse in the household.

I only have two children, and we have the same problems you have with picking up after themselves. One thing you may try, is if they leave it out throw it in the trash, then put it outside with the other trash. When they come looking for it, they'll have to dig it out of the trash. If they don't want Mom to throw away their stuff then they'll learn to put it up. I haven't started doing that, but I'm about to, and the most resistance I'll get is from my 17 year old, since most of her stuff she leaves laying around is, well she leaves everything laying around especially her school books. They're expensive, but what I'll do is have a trash bag designated for "kids leaving their junk in the living room", and put it out with the trash.

Oh, and if they give you lip service about it, then throw them in the trash. :heh

[soonhereturns]

:aha

I find it oddly comforting that I am not the only one who deals with sort of stuff. Found another idea from a mom with 6 for getting laundry done. I think I'm going to try that too.

Thanks

[lisaann]

Managers of Their Chores has been extremely helpful to our family. Of course we only have 2 so I don't know what it would be like with 11. :panic The bottom line is they have no option but to do the chores assigned to them. The family that wrote this has 8 children and give alot of advice on implementing it.

http://www.titus2.com/ecommerce/products/prod_listing.php/1150

[Wally]

A challenge is to apply the appropriate discipline.

Some need privelages taken away: no toys inside, no tv, no stuff in certian rooms.

Corporal punishment - If it works for you, and can be applied properly.

The trash bin is a good tool, if you don't care, in the trash it goes. Make them pay for replacements.

Prison closet - stuff can be reclaimed but fine must be paid - doing chore for a couple days first, $$, tailor to child.

Obviously some things must be returned - school books - special doll,

But another item might work:

If you are too busy picking up their mess, it will take time from other tasks, like supper. Serve fried mush or oatmeal for several days in a row. (Hubby may sneak an Arby's sandwich to you).

Again be creative. You may have to focus on each child for a while until the desired conduct becomes habit.

And sometimes you have to just cry. Some kids cant understand why but can instantly see that what they are doing hurts mom. They then start to think less of them selves. Again do not abuse this, you want to teach them, not manipulate them.