I can't believe the nerve

[LARAGDOLL]

My sister-in-law who I hardly ever talk to (maybe 6 times a year) called me this morning and asked me to watch my 4 year old autistic nephew because my brother was having some test ran at the hospital and might have cancer. Well I have three children of my own and my oldest had two friends over for a sleepover and we had two doctors appointments today...but I said of course as long as she didn't mind him coming with us in the car. Not a problem. Let me also add that I've never kept my nephew before.

She dropped him off at 10 for a 12:45 appointment :scratch which I found strange. Oh well, I ran around crazy feeding kids lunch :panic and then dropping off the extras before heading to the doctors appointments. Anyway, after 4 hours I hadn't heard from them but my husband calls and tells me my brother is at work (they work together) and that my sister-in-law was actually at the hospital with her sister who was in labor. OK so now I know I've been had. Another hour goes by and still no word from sister-in-law so I call her and tell her that I am going to need her to pick up my nephew in another hour because I have somewhere else I need to go and can't take him with me this time. She blows a gasket. Telling me I'm a worthless peice of crap :shocked and so on and that she can't come get him because of her sister is due to deliver in another hour yet is only dialated to 5cm. :lol2 Well now I've delivered 3 children and know that its most likely gonna be quite a while yet before baby comes. She then goes on to tell me she doesn't even have a car which I explain isn't my problem She shouldn't have lied to me in the first place. So I told her I would drop him off at the hospital and she should meet me downstairs I had no choice myself.

Well, she meets me there and the curse words start flying :fear I smiled and said "He was a perfect angel (lie, dealing with a 4 yr old autistic child can be a real challenge) and that I had enjoyed the day and was glad I could do them a favor." She called me every dirty name in the book and told me she was done with me and I was a lousy mom. :twitch

So tell me was I wrong? :idunno I was so upset by this whole situation. I have three kids (14, 12, 8) and hardly ever leave them with anyone. I usually just work it out and take them with me. On the rare occasion I have left them with a friend I always call and check on them and make sure I'm not over stepping their welcome. Today I tried to do a favor and look what I got. My poor kids were shocked at the way she went off and the words she used. I myself am upset they witnessed the incident but really hate they heard those ugly words.

I guess the morale of this story is "How dare I have the nerve to do a favor for someone." :thinking Oh well won't make that mistake again.

[Mrsppmrxky]

First of all, you DID do them a favor! You acted like family meeting a 'need'. Do I get it right that your brother DID NOT have a possible cancer test done?

I would definitely ask you brother to 'let you know the results' of the test so that you do not worry..........this way he will know what was told to you.

Family.............it's a good thing that God commanded us to love and forgive.........it covers a multitude of sins. It sounds like your SIL really needs prayer,

[antsinmypants]

Ok wait... she lied and said your brother was going for a cancer test -- and instead she was there as a "labor coach" or whatever for her sister at the hospital?

You did them a gracious favor really, IMHO... and I'd be asking my brother via phone or in person if he was ok/what his wife said when she dropped "little johnny" off at our house... and you were really concerned.

But other than this, I'd have to say let it drop, do not harbor ill feelings and try to forgive as best as possible. Sounds like SIL needs lots of prayer

[Luv_Jesus]

I don't understand why she couldn't just tell you the truth. Does she sense some resentment of her on your part? I mean I completely understand why you're upset, she treated you horribly. But at some point, it seems like to keep the peace in your family you should sit down with her and have a heart-to-heart and see what's going on in your relationship. Praying for you!

[LARAGDOLL]

I don't understand why she couldn't just tell you the truth. Does she sense some resentment of her on your part? I mean I completely understand why you're upset, she treated you horribly. But at some point, it seems like to keep the peace in your family you should sit down with her and have a heart-to-heart and see what's going on in your relationship. Praying for you!

To answer your question She has never wanted a relationship with us before. Like I said earlier in all the years we have only spoken to each other 5-6 times a year. I would have kept my nephew no matter what the reason...even if it were I just need a couple of hours to take a nap.

My husband and I have both talked with my brother and let him know what really happened and he was furious. He said she shouldn't have lied to me in the first place and couldn't believe she had left him with us for so long in the second place without even calling to check on him. He said he feels that I am right in calling her on it and that she is just mad because she didn't get her way in the end. Oh and he was shocked to hear that she had said he may have cancer.

Either way around if won't happen again. Not that I don't love my nephew and want to spend time with him but I will not subject my children to a ranting/raving cursing woman.

[MrsBri]

My sister-in-law who I hardly ever talk to (maybe 6 times a year) called me this morning and asked me to watch my 4 year old autistic nephew because my brother was having some test ran at the hospital and might have cancer. Well I have three children of my own and my oldest had two friends over for a sleepover and we had two doctors appointments today...but I said of course as long as she didn't mind him coming with us in the car. Not a problem. Let me also add that I've never kept my nephew before.

She dropped him off at 10 for a 12:45 appointment :scratch which I found strange. Oh well, I ran around crazy feeding kids lunch :panic and then dropping off the extras before heading to the doctors appointments. Anyway, after 4 hours I hadn't heard from them but my husband calls and tells me my brother is at work (they work together) and that my sister-in-law was actually at the hospital with her sister who was in labor. OK so now I know I've been had. Another hour goes by and still no word from sister-in-law so I call her and tell her that I am going to need her to pick up my nephew in another hour because I have somewhere else I need to go and can't take him with me this time. She blows a gasket. Telling me I'm a worthless peice of crap :shocked and so on and that she can't come get him because of her sister is due to deliver in another hour yet is only dialated to 5cm. :lol2 Well now I've delivered 3 children and know that its most likely gonna be quite a while yet before baby comes. She then goes on to tell me she doesn't even have a car which I explain isn't my problem She shouldn't have lied to me in the first place. So I told her I would drop him off at the hospital and she should meet me downstairs I had no choice myself.

Well, she meets me there and the curse words start flying :fear I smiled and said "He was a perfect angel (lie, dealing with a 4 yr old autistic child can be a real challenge) and that I had enjoyed the day and was glad I could do them a favor." She called me every dirty name in the book and told me she was done with me and I was a lousy mom. :twitch

So tell me was I wrong? :idunno I was so upset by this whole situation. I have three kids (14, 12, 8) and hardly ever leave them with anyone. I usually just work it out and take them with me. On the rare occasion I have left them with a friend I always call and check on them and make sure I'm not over stepping their welcome. Today I tried to do a favor and look what I got. My poor kids were shocked at the way she went off and the words she used. I myself am upset they witnessed the incident but really hate they heard those ugly words.

I guess the morale of this story is "How dare I have the nerve to do a favor for someone." :thinking Oh well won't make that mistake again.

wowie! For her to call you to babysit when 1) you've never watched your autistic nephew before & 2) when she rarely talks to you (only 6 times a year) tells me just how desperate she was for a babysitter yesterday.

How many people turned her down before she resorted to calling you I wonder? After being turned down so much, she invented a story you couldn't refuse to babysit over. She clearly was in the wrong & her lying is inexcusable (not to mention her anger & vulgarity).

I probably see this very differently from most people because I do babysit frequently for others. Invented stories are common for those last minute babysitting needs & for late pickups, so it doesn't bother me. You agreed to babysit although you had overnight guests & afternoon appointments. Babysitting was going to be an inconvience for you, but rather than telling her that, you claimed that it would be no problem....because you wanted to be nice (nothing wrong with that).

I think however that her deception was just the icing on the cake during an already stressful day. Once you learned she lied, you were determined to end the babysitting adventure asap...even bringing her child to the hospital. I would have handled that very differently & continued watching him...but when she picked him up, I would have confronted her about the lying & let her know how stressful my day was. She would have felt shameful instead of angry then....but that's why they say hindsite is 20/20.

Family is family, so no matter what, continue to be the bigger person. Try to talk to her as soon as possible & get things smoothed out between you two. The longer you wait, the harder it'll be.

[LARAGDOLL]

I think however that her deception was just the icing on the cake during an already stressful day. Once you learned she lied, you were determined to end the babysitting adventure asap...even bringing her child to the hospital. I would have handled that very differently & continued watching him...but when she picked him up, I would have confronted her about the lying & let her know how stressful my day was. She would have felt shameful instead of angry then....but that's why they say hindsite is 20/20.




:shocked I don't think you got the part that I had yet another appointment to be at last night and couldn't possibly take him with me. I called her and told her that I needed her to pick him up in another hour which in my mind gave her plenty of time (it is a 10 min. drive to the hospital). When she said that it NO I told her I would be doing her yet another favor and bringing him to her. She at that point clearly did not want to have to deal with him herself yesturday and told me that wouldn't work for her. It was only after she started arguing with me that I told her I knew she had lied in the first place. I'm sorry that you felt I did wrong by ending my free service but hey I had somewhere to be and I had already explained that to her over and over again. I don't feel that I should apologize to anyone for doing them a favor. I also don't feel that I should cancel plans with my own children because she thought she could dump hers on me. Had she came and picked him up when I asked her to I would not have mentioned the lie.

[scrappergirl]

:shocked I don't think you got the part that I had yet another appointment to be at last night and couldn't possibly take him with me. I called her and told her that I needed her to pick him up in another hour which in my mind gave her plenty of time (it is a 10 min. drive to the hospital). When she said that it NO I told her I would be doing her yet another favor and bringing him to her. She at that point clearly did not want to have to deal with him herself yesturday and told me that wouldn't work for her. It was only after she started arguing with me that I told her I knew she had lied in the first place. I'm sorry that you felt I did wrong by ending my free service but hey I had somewhere to be and I had already explained that to her over and over again. I don't feel that I should apologize to anyone for doing them a favor. I also don't feel that I should cancel plans with my own children because she thought she could dump hers on me. Had she came and picked him up when I asked her to I would not have mentioned the lie.

i agree. AND i am sure if it were REALLY an emergency, you would have canceled your plans and stayed home...but the point is that it was NOT an emergency, it was a sham, and why should you have to cancel your plans for a lie??
Your sil was wrong all the way around, 100%. Not only did she lie, but she lied about her husband/your brother's health! To say that he might have CANCER to get you to watch her son when she could have just asked with the truth?!?!?!?! THat is just sickening.
YOu did the right thing. I hope your brother gives her a lesson in telling the truth!!

[LARAGDOLL]

Thanks Scrappergirl!

[scrappergirl]

I probably see this very differently from most people because I do babysit frequently for others. Invented stories are common for those last minute babysitting needs & for late pickups, so it doesn't bother me. You agreed to babysit although you had overnight guests & afternoon appointments. Babysitting was going to be an inconvience for you, but rather than telling her that, you claimed that it would be no problem....because you wanted to be nice (nothing wrong with that).

.

I think this is your assumption (bolded part), since I never saw her say that in the OP. My guess would be she offered to watch him ANYWAY because of the stress she probably thought her sil was having over the husband going for testing because he 'might have cancer'. Who would say NO to watching someone's child for somethign THAT important? Obviously if it were the truth, it would trump any plans that she had for the day if it turned out that she was needed beyond when she planned to watch the nephew.

Just because you don't mind people lying to you doesn't mean everyone else should allow it (or can tolerate it). Especially when that lie has you thinking your sibling may have a deadly disease when they are perfectly find and sitting at work!:ohno:tsk