Am I Being Paranoid?

[saint-in-training]

I beg for the rapture because I so dislike where this world is going so that I fear where it will take my children as well as their minds. Right now I've actually been going through a bit of a difficulty. Tell me what you all think. I've already heard two others disagree with my own thinking on the issue and I thought how I felt about it would have been pretty widespread within a Christian group.

Yesterday, I received a note and a packet in the mail. The note explained that about this time they introduce a unit on "human maturation" as they call it. Where they discuss parts of the body how they will soon change (mind you this child of mine is at the end of fourth grade and is 10 years old.) There are (in the packet) a couple of loose paragraph titels like, "Your Changin' Bod" and "Here It Is Girls...Menstruation." They describe body part terms and functions, menstruation and products, ugh...and bodily hair...hygiene.... And in their little Q&A section there was one particular question that bothered me...If I use a tampon will I still be a virgin?...Then they go one to discuss with their answer what a virgin is and talk about sexual intercourse. Not descriptly, but well here's what their answer was. I want to give exactly their answer, and yes this is a public school. I cannot afford to send my children to a christian school or I certainly would!
They say..."If you've never had sexual intercourse, and you use a tampon, then yes, you are still a virgin. A virgin is someone who hasn't had sexual intercourse. Using a tampon may (although not commonly) rupture your hymen, which is also ruptured the first time a woman has sexual intercourse. But contrary to myth, a hymen is not an indicator of virginity. Plenty of virgins have barely noticeable hymens; non-virgins may even have intact, though stretched hymens."

Okay, now they'll use the words "sexual intercourse" with my daughter and she's going to want to know exactly what it is they're talking about, right? I know not talking to my daughter about the birds and the bees descriptly will not keep her from doing anything, but I just don't know if I want the public school to teach my daughter about this stuff. And especially not right now, fourth grade, 10 yrs old. I just have this feeling that if you introduce them to sexuality too early, they may become interested in it prematurely, do I sound crazy?

Not to mention, I've pretty much covered most of this stuff with her already myself, but I just think it's stuff they should learn at home with mom or dad. Not the gym teacher!

[happymommy728]

In the shool district around here (at least when I was a student and when I taught) you could choose whether or not you wanted your child to participate in sex ed. I would call the school and see if your child can opt out of it.

[jadeeyes]

I think that's way too much info for a typical 10 year old. And yes, I think that the in depth explanation of what a virgin is would be better learned at home from parents when they think the info is age appropriate.

[chel0524]

I had the menstruation talk with my oldest DD last year. She was 9 at the time. There is no way she is ready to learn about intercourse. I would see if your DD can sit that out.

[NewWorldOrder]

I think that's way too much info for a typical 10 year old. And yes, I think that the in depth explanation of what a virgin is would be better learned at home from parents when they think the info is age appropriate.

I disagree, but here's why. I was 10 years old when I started my period, and I was 7 when I started getting pubic hair, and I was about 8 or 9 when I had to start shaving under my arms, and I'm 39 years old now. My mother was 9 when she started her period, so she knew she had to be ready to tell me all about this stuff when I was probably around 8 or 9, because nobody told her anything, and when she started her period at age 9 she thought she was dying. I knew how babies came into this world before I was 10 years old, and how it happened, and I wasn't grossed out by it.

Unfortunately, lot's of parents do not sit down with their children and explain these things to them, hence the question about using a tampon and still being a virgin. 10 years old is not too young, since most 10 year olds are just one year shy of middle school. If you aren't comfortable with your daughter being in that class, I completely understand, you should tell the school. We homeschool, so I do all the sex education. I taught my oldest daughter those things when she was 9, and my youngest is about to be 9. She already knows what a virgin is, and she knows what sexual intercourse is. She also knows that it is something done between married people and that God says it's ok as long as we are married.

I don't think your daughter will become interested in it prematurely if you tell her the truth. She needs to know that you can be open with her about this without getting embarrassed, or feeling uncomfortable, and that she can ask you any kind of question no matter how awkward it may be, because she may over hear a conversation about a sexual matter and not know what they're talking about and she may ask you. That happened to me when I was 10 years old when I was at our community pool and overheard some teenagers talking about oral sex. :doh I asked my mom what that was, and she didn't flinch or get drive into a ditch, since we were in the car when I asked her. She asked where I heard the term I used, and then proceeded to tell me what it was, and she didn't try to brush it off by saying we'll discuss it later. One thing I really admired about my mother growing up, was she was truthful with me when I asked about something like that, but she didn't use derogatory language, or anything, she simply told the truth according to how I could understand it, and that was that. If you make too big a deal out of it, and side step the issue, she's going to find somebody else to ask, wouldn't you rather it be you.

[HSmomto4]

That class is done in the 4th grade everywhere. A lot of girls start to get their periods by age 10, I did and so did my oldest daughter. I'm not against the info being given to children, BUT I am however against anyone but the PARENT giving it. I don't care that a lot of parents don't talk about it with their children, that point means nothing to me. Christian parents need to STOP letting other people teach their children. God gave them to US to teach and we just hand it over to someone else. We are the ones that will have stand before God and answer for what our children were taught. That is why I believe in homeschooling so much as well as family worship. It isn't just public schools that we have turned our children over to for raising it is also the church. We send them off to Sunday school, children's church, youth group, AWANAS, RA's or GA's and so on and just depend on the CHURCH to raise our children. They are ours! God gave them to us! We should be the people teaching them about God, morals, education, and daily living. Did you know that the average parent spends 15 min. a day talking to their child? That is not enough time to teach what God has called us to teach our children. We need to step up to the plate and be the parents that God has called us to be!

Sorry Saint-in-training, this wasn't directed AT you, it was more of just a rant of mine. This is the ministry that God has called my husband and me to so I become very passionate about it.

[FaithContender]

I disagree, but here's why. I was 10 years old when I started my period, and I was 7 when I started getting pubic hair, and I was about 8 or 9 when I had to start shaving under my arms, and I'm 39 years old now. My mother was 9 when she started her period, so she knew she had to be ready to tell me all about this stuff when I was probably around 8 or 9, because nobody told her anything, and when she started her period at age 9 she thought she was dying. I knew how babies came into this world before I was 10 years old, and how it happened, and I wasn't grossed out by it.

Unfortunately, lot's of parents do not sit down with their children and explain these things to them, hence the question about using a tampon and still being a virgin. 10 years old is not too young, since most 10 year olds are just one year shy of middle school. If you aren't comfortable with your daughter being in that class, I completely understand, you should tell the school. We homeschool, so I do all the sex education. I taught my oldest daughter those things when she was 9, and my youngest is about to be 9. She already knows what a virgin is, and she knows what sexual intercourse is. She also knows that it is something done between married people and that God says it's ok as long as we are married.

I don't think your daughter will become interested in it prematurely if you tell her the truth. She needs to know that you can be open with her about this without getting embarrassed, or feeling uncomfortable, and that she can ask you any kind of question no matter how awkward it may be, because she may over hear a conversation about a sexual matter and not know what they're talking about and she may ask you. That happened to me when I was 10 years old when I was at our community pool and overheard some teenagers talking about oral sex. :doh I asked my mom what that was, and she didn't flinch or get drive into a ditch, since we were in the car when I asked her. She asked where I heard the term I used, and then proceeded to tell me what it was, and she didn't try to brush it off by saying we'll discuss it later. One thing I really admired about my mother growing up, was she was truthful with me when I asked about something like that, but she didn't use derogatory language, or anything, she simply told the truth according to how I could understand it, and that was that. If you make too big a deal out of it, and side step the issue, she's going to find somebody else to ask, wouldn't you rather it be you.

I agree. Kids were already talking about all that stuff in school when I was in 3rd grade. I remember asking my friend about it when I was 8, and she told me what her mom had told her. My mom only every had the puberty talk with me, so I had to learn everything else from the kids at school, and I looked words up in the dictionary. What a horrible way to learn about all that...I wish my mom had just been straight-up with me and told me everything herself.

[jadeeyes]

I disagree, but here's why. I was 10 years old when I started my period, and I was 7 when I started getting pubic hair, and I was about 8 or 9 when I had to start shaving under my arms, and I'm 39 years old now. My mother was 9 when she started her period, so she knew she had to be ready to tell me all about this stuff when I was probably around 8 or 9, because nobody told her anything, and when she started her period at age 9 she thought she was dying. I knew how babies came into this world before I was 10 years old, and how it happened, and I wasn't grossed out by it.

Unfortunately, lot's of parents do not sit down with their children and explain these things to them, hence the question about using a tampon and still being a virgin. 10 years old is not too young, since most 10 year olds are just one year shy of middle school. If you aren't comfortable with your daughter being in that class, I completely understand, you should tell the school. We homeschool, so I do all the sex education. I taught my oldest daughter those things when she was 9, and my youngest is about to be 9. She already knows what a virgin is, and she knows what sexual intercourse is. She also knows that it is something done between married people and that God says it's ok as long as we are married.

I don't think your daughter will become interested in it prematurely if you tell her the truth. She needs to know that you can be open with her about this without getting embarrassed, or feeling uncomfortable, and that she can ask you any kind of question no matter how awkward it may be, because she may over hear a conversation about a sexual matter and not know what they're talking about and she may ask you. That happened to me when I was 10 years old when I was at our community pool and overheard some teenagers talking about oral sex. :doh I asked my mom what that was, and she didn't flinch or get drive into a ditch, since we were in the car when I asked her. She asked where I heard the term I used, and then proceeded to tell me what it was, and she didn't try to brush it off by saying we'll discuss it later. One thing I really admired about my mother growing up, was she was truthful with me when I asked about something like that, but she didn't use derogatory language, or anything, she simply told the truth according to how I could understand it, and that was that. If you make too big a deal out of it, and side step the issue, she's going to find somebody else to ask, wouldn't you rather it be you.

:hug If you'll notice, I said that was too much information for the typical 10 year old and referred to the detailed explanation of what a virgin is was better left to parents. I started my period real early as well and I was developing breasts by the time I was 8 so I understand that these children need to know about the changes taking place in their bodies. In answer to the question about whether a person would still be a virgin after using a tampon, a simple yes would have sufficed. The child wasn't asking for a definition of the word virgin. The reason I think it's best to leave some of these questions for parents to answer is that they are in a position to better know what is age appropriate for their own children. Some 10 year olds are ready for far more information than others are. As for me, when I was in school, this information was presented in fifth grade. By that time, my Mother had discussed with me some of the changes taking place in my body. She explained to me why my breasts were growing and told me about my period and bought me what I would need when the time came. It's a good thing too, because she had already left for work and I was getting ready for school when I needed those things for the first time. I did what I needed to do and went to school. My Mother was genuinely proud of me when she came home from work and I told her what had happened and I went to school and went about my day the way I did on all other days because she had prepared me.

[Tenbear2808]

Also remember that even though she might be able to opt out of the class most of her classmates will be not. So they will be talking about this anyway and we know how imaginations and stuff can soar!

I agree parents should take control. Whether you opt out or whether you send her, YOU should be the one to tell her first.

And I would cover those things before this class takes place, including intercourse. Encourage her to ask YOU any questions that come up. Even if your embarassed, you will have to take deep breathes and just talk about it.

I understand there are some Christian books on this subject out there, although I'm not familiar with them. Perhaps one of those books and you and her read it together?

[NewLifeinHim]

I'm with NewWorldOrder and Faith Contender on this one.

This just brought back memories of girls at school and how missinformed we were by 3rd grade. My best friend started her period at age 11 and she was sure someone had put glass in her food and that she was going to die. Not even a year later, with all the little information we had and the playground rumors we heard, we were convinced that chewing gum while having sex helped you to remain a virgin (how did we figure THAT ONE out!?)
I see how we think this information should be given by the parents only, but in many families, that will never be the case.