I had sex before marriage and need help!

[Redeemed91]

hi everyone i need some help i need to know how to break up with a person who u know u shouldnt be with because its not a holy relationship because it was tainted by lust and impurity. Im truly sorry but i dont know why i keep doing it im sixteen and i really need some help. any advice will do:idunno

[FoundAgain]

hey sister,
it's not easy- but you're going to have to end it right away and fully rely on God. Remember that He loves you and wants you to be free of the ways of this world... which isn't easy. I've been there- I'm now 25, God's gotten me through some trying times with boys too. If you ever want to talk or need some support during hard times, pm me.
:hug
praying for you.

[ZeldaCA]

In today's day and age, it seems like there is nothing BUT sex everywhere -- on TV, movies, ads, etc. I say that because I can see how it would be very hard to be your age and remain pure. It was hard when we were all young, and it's about 10,000 times worse now!

That being said, you need to find friends who agree with your moral views and support the desire in your heart to remain chaste. If you are running around with friends who are all having pre-marital sex, that just makes it harder. You need to find other girls who feel like you do, and then only date boys who feel the same way.

Too break up with this guy, I would choose a public place and tell him in plain language that what you've been doing is the wrong choice for you and your faith, and that you have to end it. Don't let him try and talk you out of your beliefs. If you want to continue seeing him, I would suggest a break, maybe several months, so when you come back together it's really a clean slate -- and it's on your terms. And then, just be sure you aren't getting yourself into a situation where you won't be tempted (i.e., are alone with him in a private place!).

Good luck, sweetie, and remember you ARE doing the right thing!

[happymommy728]

Is there an older woman in your church who you can talk to about this? Perhaps your youth pastor's wife. Telling her and praying with her will help a lot and also hold you accountable.
Praying for you.

[BeNotAfraid]

Any advice will not do, you need godly counsel! Let's put first things first. The most important consideration for you right now is not how to break up with this guy (although that does have its place), but rather where you stand in your relationship with God. We've all sinned, make no mistake about that. Your sin is no greater than any of mine of anyone else's on this site. Our Jesus' sacrifice was big enough and sufficient enough to cover us all--yes, even you. Are you saved? I'm going to assume you are and are feeling convicted about your sin. If you are not saved, please let us know and we can go there, too. The heart of the issue is submission and obedience. You not only have to repent of your sins, but you have to make the conscious choice to submit to the will of God and obey Him. Becoming a Christian is not praying a prayer and automatically becoming a righteous person who walks the straight and narrow. It takes work, but it is work that must be done through God's power and not through yours. Sweetie, you have to CHOOSE. After you do this, you should also find a church home if you do not have one. How is your relationship with your parents? Are they saved? Ideally you should confess to your parents. You need their help and you need them to hold you accountable. Please do not shut your parents out of your life (I understand there could be other issues, so again feel free to set things straight here). I'm only 10 years older than you but I feel like I was your age only yesterday.

As for breaking up with the boy, just do it. Feel free to tell him why, but don't make excuses for yourself or make yourself available to be talked out of it. Your focus needs to be on growing into a godly young woman, your family, worshipping God, and school. There is no room for him, or for temptation, in your life right now. What's done is done. Now what will you do?

[Lynn]

Please do not shut your parents out of your life . .
As for breaking up with the boy, just do it. Feel free to tell him why, but don't make excuses for yourself or make yourself available to be talked out of it. Your focus needs to be on growing into a godly young woman, your family, worshiping God, and school. There is no room for him, or for temptation, in your life right now. What's done is done. Now what will you do?
This is great advice. I would take it. Please don't overlook the part of the post that says, ". .don't make excuses for yourself or be available to be talked out of it." The boy will definitely try to talk you out of it, and he possibly will become angry when you try to break it off with him. Protect yourself from his anger. Don't be with him in a car by yourself when you tell him. Make sure that others are close enough, though not in hearing distance.
You will need to avoid him in the future. If you go back to public school in the fall, just know that he will likely still be around. Plan for this so that you can arrange your schedule accordingly.
A new group of Christian girls who will help you to live a life of purity will be what is needed. Do a google search for 'true love waits' and even though there may not be anyone in your area who participates in this group, you can get some online encouragment for purity and 'secondary' virginity. A lot of girls are finally waking up and running, fast, away from premarital sex and the STD's, pregnancy that can result.
God bless you, dear, and please post again soon. :)

[WordyTrees]

Clean break. I've fantasized in the past about if I could go back in high school, walking up to that person and firmly but cleanly breaking it off. You will thank yourself in the future if you do this today. CLEAN BREAK, no further contact. The only way! Pray. :) /hug

[Cd4u_2]

hi everyone i need some help i need to know how to break up with a person who u know u shouldnt be with because its not a holy relationship because it was tainted by lust and impurity. Im truly sorry but i dont know why i keep doing it im sixteen and i really need some help. any advice will do:idunno

Go talk to your pastor or his wife (prefer both of them together). He will help you.

[lovinlife4]

You can do it! I was in a situation like this many years ago and believe me, it was the best thing I ever did! Put it in God's hands! You'll be much happier .

[Witness4Jesus]

Benotaffraid, you have given very good advice.

Please find a trustful Christian woman you can speak to about this. What about your mother? Sister? Repent and ask Jesus to forgive and help you put this behind you. Ask Him to help you keep your eyes on Him and to strengthen you agaisnt this sin and boy.