NewWorldOrder
June 10th, 2008, 10:58 AM
I'm feeling a little angry, a little sad, and a little disappointed all at the same time. It's kind of a long story, so I'll try to keep it brief.
A good friend of mine, whom I've only known since October of last year, has three children. Her oldest is 18, but by her own admission she really only has the maturity level of a 14 year old, but she can show the maturity of an 18 year old. Well, this girl was invited to a graduation party of a mutual friend of my daughter's. My daughter introduced her, sort of, to a guy friend of hers and they were starting to get to know each other, so he invited her to his party. So, to make a long story short, this girl's behavior was very unbecoming of her at the party. She started flirting with a boy she did not know, and well, they got a little intimate, and it caused problems. I heard about it from my daughter, and from my friends who were also there. I was supposed to go, but decided not to.
Because several people were offended by the behavior, and because my daughter told me what was going on, I felt I really had no choice but to call her mother and tell her what happened. If it were my daughter behaving that way, I would want to know, so I called her mother. I was really nervous but I knew it had to be done. My friend, took it really well, and was glad I told her. But here's where the trouble starts. My daughter is extremely angry with this girl, because they have done all of their "talking" through texts, instead of actually speaking to each other. That kind of conversing loses something in the translation, like voice inflection, and emotion.
So, last night this girl kept trying to text my daughter, and in her own way apologize, but it wasn't coming out right, and they started bickering back and forth like children. I took my daughter's word that this girl is just bad news, and allowed things to escalate. Finally, my daughter told this girl that she wasn't going to go to her graduation party, which is this Friday and she's not going to stay the night. Well, when this girl got that text she tried to call my daughter, but my daughter refused to answer the phone, even though I told her she needed to talk to her, but she wouldn't do it. :rolleyes So, she tried calling me. :doh I was not going to blow her off, knowing now what I know about this girl, through her mother, whom I really, really like. Well, for answering the phone I started getting yelled at not only by my daughter but by my husband. I was going to try and explain to this girl why my daughter was angry, but they kept yelling at me and I finally just told her that I should probably speak to her mom. So we hung up. I was so mad, that, I started cursing. :doh :doh :doh
A few minutes later her mother called me, and she is very calm, but that's her nature. I'm fuming, and trying to explain to her that her daughter really shouldn't have called me, because this is really between our children, and that unless my daughter had actually done something wrong, she had no business getting me involved. My friend felt really bad about it, and apologized, and she explained that her daughter really tried to apologize to my daughter, but that they weren't communicating properly for anything to really be said properly. She did tell me, that after I told her about what happened at the party, that she and her husband spoke to their daughter and she owned up to everything I told her. She didn't deny anything, but not until they told her that they had witnesses to the behavior, and she spilled the beans. She was very ashamed, and apologetic and knew she made a mistake. I believe her, but I wasn't told any of this until last night after all the hoopla. So, now my daughter is angry at me, because she thinks I'm picking sides. I personally feel, that my daughter needs to talk to her, person to person, and not through texting, and work this out. But she's made it clear that she just doesn't like this girl, so she's using that as an excuse. She needs to forgive her. I'm feeling really bad right now, because I really like this girl's mother. None of us are perfect, and I don't want my daughter writing off this girl because she did something stupid at a party.
So, after all this, I'm starting to regret even telling her mother what happened although, she's really glad I did. So, I'm feeling ashamed of myself, my daughter, my husband, and well, myself for allowing this to happen.
A good friend of mine, whom I've only known since October of last year, has three children. Her oldest is 18, but by her own admission she really only has the maturity level of a 14 year old, but she can show the maturity of an 18 year old. Well, this girl was invited to a graduation party of a mutual friend of my daughter's. My daughter introduced her, sort of, to a guy friend of hers and they were starting to get to know each other, so he invited her to his party. So, to make a long story short, this girl's behavior was very unbecoming of her at the party. She started flirting with a boy she did not know, and well, they got a little intimate, and it caused problems. I heard about it from my daughter, and from my friends who were also there. I was supposed to go, but decided not to.
Because several people were offended by the behavior, and because my daughter told me what was going on, I felt I really had no choice but to call her mother and tell her what happened. If it were my daughter behaving that way, I would want to know, so I called her mother. I was really nervous but I knew it had to be done. My friend, took it really well, and was glad I told her. But here's where the trouble starts. My daughter is extremely angry with this girl, because they have done all of their "talking" through texts, instead of actually speaking to each other. That kind of conversing loses something in the translation, like voice inflection, and emotion.
So, last night this girl kept trying to text my daughter, and in her own way apologize, but it wasn't coming out right, and they started bickering back and forth like children. I took my daughter's word that this girl is just bad news, and allowed things to escalate. Finally, my daughter told this girl that she wasn't going to go to her graduation party, which is this Friday and she's not going to stay the night. Well, when this girl got that text she tried to call my daughter, but my daughter refused to answer the phone, even though I told her she needed to talk to her, but she wouldn't do it. :rolleyes So, she tried calling me. :doh I was not going to blow her off, knowing now what I know about this girl, through her mother, whom I really, really like. Well, for answering the phone I started getting yelled at not only by my daughter but by my husband. I was going to try and explain to this girl why my daughter was angry, but they kept yelling at me and I finally just told her that I should probably speak to her mom. So we hung up. I was so mad, that, I started cursing. :doh :doh :doh
A few minutes later her mother called me, and she is very calm, but that's her nature. I'm fuming, and trying to explain to her that her daughter really shouldn't have called me, because this is really between our children, and that unless my daughter had actually done something wrong, she had no business getting me involved. My friend felt really bad about it, and apologized, and she explained that her daughter really tried to apologize to my daughter, but that they weren't communicating properly for anything to really be said properly. She did tell me, that after I told her about what happened at the party, that she and her husband spoke to their daughter and she owned up to everything I told her. She didn't deny anything, but not until they told her that they had witnesses to the behavior, and she spilled the beans. She was very ashamed, and apologetic and knew she made a mistake. I believe her, but I wasn't told any of this until last night after all the hoopla. So, now my daughter is angry at me, because she thinks I'm picking sides. I personally feel, that my daughter needs to talk to her, person to person, and not through texting, and work this out. But she's made it clear that she just doesn't like this girl, so she's using that as an excuse. She needs to forgive her. I'm feeling really bad right now, because I really like this girl's mother. None of us are perfect, and I don't want my daughter writing off this girl because she did something stupid at a party.
So, after all this, I'm starting to regret even telling her mother what happened although, she's really glad I did. So, I'm feeling ashamed of myself, my daughter, my husband, and well, myself for allowing this to happen.