Funny Sayings and mottos

[Hootmon]

If at first you don't succeed;......dont take up Skydiving as a hobby...

[NewLifeinHim]

...dont take up Skydiving as a hobby...

:pound` :lol2 :pound :aha :lol

[FaithContender]

If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.:preach

Stressed is desserts spelled backwards:madgrin

My family tree is full of nuts:hehee

[Jubilee21]

One of my favorite saying's came from a precious, wise, yet very colorful woman from WV...

Her point was to be kind but it came out:

"Now hush yerself and be charitable child.. Landsakes alive, that thar poor soul is nuttier than an outhouse at a peanut festival!"

I've never looked at peanut's the same way since! :aha

[jadeeyes]

That guy's greener than a goose pile. Learned that one from my Mother. :heh

[KBKMNN]

Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but
they can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake.

[SumSam]

Some of these have already been shared here several times already but good for another time. :)

Zig Ziglar - People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily.

Time flies like an arrow but fruit flies like a banana.

He who laughs last...probably didn't get the joke.

Will Rogers: Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.

Never make the same mistake twice or you'll never get around to all of them.

Homer Simpson: You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'. (:doh!)

Ellen DeGeneres: You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the heck she is.

:lol2

[lisaann]

God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts. :heh

(I have that one posted in my front entrance to the house :whistle)

[NewLifeinHim]

Some genius quotes from Douglas Adams:

In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.

There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind- bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space.

Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner.

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.

It is no coincidence that in no known language does the phrase 'As pretty as an Airport' appear.

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.

He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it.

Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws.

Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.

And my favorite:

I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.

Douglas Adams
English humorist & science fiction novelist (1952 - 2001)

[Maggie]

When I was 12 and desperately wanting some reassurance, I asked my grandma, "Am I pretty?" She would only say, "Pretty is as pretty does." I thought, "Oh, man, I must really be a dog if that's all she'll say!" :lol2
Another thing she used to say - and I think she got this from her mother - "Can't died in the poorhouse." I've said that to my dd and it drives her nuts.