Funny Sayings and mottos

[denny272]

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking, and a woman isn't around to hear him, is he still wrong?

If it doesn't fit, force it; if it breaks, it needed to be replaced anyway.

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.

Only in America do we have drive-thru ATM's with braile on them...

"Purtier than a speckled pup under a painted wagon."- Something my grandfather used to say. :scratch :idunno

"You youngins stop messin and a gomin". Something my great-aunt used to say.. I'm pretty sure that meant "stop making a mess." :aha

[dylans grammie]

One my granny used to say all the time was....Can't never did do nothin'.
She used to tell us than when we said we couldn't do something.

[I'm all 67X]

"The emptiest barrel makes the most noise when you thump it."

"Better to have it and not need it then to need it and not have it."
My dad.

[jadeeyes]

When our kids were little, we used to drive from northen Illinois to southwest Tennessee to visit their Grandmother. We'd no sooner back out of the driveway before the kids would start asking if we were almost there yet. :rolleyes We started telling them " just 3 or 4 more hours and we'll be there." After that took hold, it became our standard answer every time we were going anywhere and they would start asking how long it was going to take to get there. They hated it, but it helped to stop them from asking every few minutes. I mean, even when they were in high school and were told before we would leave home about how long the drive would take and they were capable of doing the math along the way, they would still ask how much longer. I think it was out of boredom. So, after being told 3 to 4 more hours a couple of times, they'd get the message and stop asking even as they made it clear that they were disgusted with that reply. The funny thing is that, as much as they hated getting that answer, that's the same reply they give their kids nowadays. :heh

[antsinmypants]

Lessee...

"Never ask your mother to brush your hair when she's mad at daddy"... No idea who said it, but :lol2 it's true!

[lisaann]

The Law to the proud, the Gospel to the humble.