Funny Sayings and mottos

[lisaann]

I've collected sayings for years. Some funny, some seriously good words to live by. Well, dh and I have been cleaning out the attic and going through our old belongings and I found a diary that I was keeping at the time we got married. I had written down a saying that the elderly lady who did our catering told me that was too cute and too true. :lol2:panic

"The face your born with is the one God gave you. Your face at 50 is the one you gave yourself." Mrs. Toms :fear

Do you have any good ones to share?

[lisaann]

Here's one that a guy in our Sunday School class made up during a lesson:

Does life's curve-balls make you bitter or do they make you better?

[NewLifeinHim]

I love:

It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.
Oscar Wilde, Lady Windermere's Fan, 1892, Act I

[twelvesmaster]

I found there was only one way to look thin, hang out with fat people.

Rodney Dangerfield

[PWOODS]

"Sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug!"

Don't know who to give the credit to...just like the saying.

[jadeeyes]

Never fry bacon in the nude - Me

Just take my word on this one.

You sound bitter. :heh

[Sing]

Brain cells live or die. Fat cells live forever.

[Wally]

In reference to training children and placing them in public school to influence the other children:

Clean doesn't rub off.



If you take two behaved/trained boys and leave them alone a moment, look out....

Two dogs make half a dog.



I posted these a while ago.



I loved Abraham Lincoln's quote:

If I was 2 faced would I be wearing this one?

[Lisababy]

My mom always had a favorite saying she would tell me when i was younger. I would never sit still for her to brush/style my hair. i hated it, i didn't care what my hair looked like at that age and whenever she could strap me down long enough to brush it, it was usually full of tangles etc. hence another reason why i hated to have her brush it.

She would tell me "beauty must suffer" :scratch For the longest time, everytime i heard her say that all i could think was "if beauty suffers, then i want to be ugly the rest of my life."

[No2Flesh]

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you'll be a mile from them, and you'll have their shoes. -Jack Handy

Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin.