Worst time to repeat a grade?

[Architectlink]

For years I have been asking the teachers if my child should repeat a grade. Every year they tell me, "no he is just immature compared to those around him".

However, this year, he is in 7th going into 8th, and our homeschool has GREAT teachers who are now agreeing that he isn't as independent as he should be at this age. Our principal also said that she was held back in 8th grade and it was the wakeup call she needed. I hate to embarress him by having him repeat, however, he is just not as mature as the other kids in his class (most of who were held back before they started our homeschool).

By the way, we have had him tested for everything, and they can find nothing wrong with his eyes or ears or listening skills, he just has processing issues where he doesn't realize what is going on...It takes me 4 times as long to cover material with him as with my daughter.

I have asked for years of those around me why he should be the smallest, slowest child in the class, even though he is very bright and loving. Now it is really catching up with him since the girls are towering over him and treating him terribly (even though this is a Christian homeschool).

Please pray for him and for wisdom in our decisions for him. Please Don't suggest more overbearing punishment, he is already trying his very hardest to keep his head above water. He has struggled with everything in his life, and all of his friends are a year or two younger...I just hope that he won't be teased if we hold him back. He justed doesn't relate well at all to kids his own grade (many who are larger and older than he is already).

Please pray for our Dear Lord to guide our actions and to slam the door open or shut for HIS glory. Thanks for you dear moms. I wish we had held him back earlier, but for whatever reason they wouldn't do it.

[Zephyr]

Hi,

If his friends are a year or two younger then maybe he would actually be happier staying back?

Have you thought about asking him? I asked my son (much younger) which grade he would rather be in when his teacher suggested the possibility of him repeating the grade.

[KBKMNN]

Is something like Sylvan Learning Center and option for you? I know they are expensive, but they may be able to help him to catch up.

[icebear]

if he stays back and retains those younger friends, the pressure of trying to keep up will be mostly relieved , he may enjoy himself....?

i have had some family kids who have needed to stay back a year and to them it was a real load off when they got past the idea that they "weren't smart enough" and accepted that it wasn't necessarily a fault, just a difference.


when i was 16 i took some math courses through Sylvan, it was great. :)

[mom211]

What is a Christian homeschool that you are sending your son to?

[jadeeyes]

I'm sorry, but every time I read this thread title, I want to respond with, when the grade is an F. :rolleyes Carry on.

[antsinmypants]

...By the way, we have had him tested for everything, and they can find nothing wrong with his eyes or ears or listening skills, he just has processing issues where he doesn't realize what is going on...It takes me 4 times as long to cover material with him as with my daughter...

Have ya'll checked to see if he has any food allergies or seasonal allergies that might be affecting his processing? You'd be suprised how food aversions can and will do that.
Is he having difficulties with just certain parts of the class or subjects?

When I was homeschooled, I wasn't held back, but I had issues with mathematics and if I recall correctly, science. My parents called the company we ordered the material through to ask what they would reccommend since I couldn't handle the 7th grade material, and they suggested taking a more down to earth approach to my math issues. They gave me "Practical math" since I couldn't grasp the geometry, trig, calc and algebra stuff. (I still cannot at all get my head around it). So, I did stuff like check balancing, changing money, and other realistic life skills that i am still using.

What happened was that in school, we had "cheats" to help us remember our multiplication and division tables, and to this day I cannot remember or do either mentally. I have to count on my hands, or do it long form on paper. Changing fractions to decimals is the same. I just check online now. I can't do it. If it's an easy one though, I can figure it out after playing with it for a while.

I excelled in English/literature, religion/bible, History and the other subjects we had... go figure.

Had I stayed in school, I would have had to repeat 6th and possibly 7th grade, though mathematics was my only real issue, science in following because of the mathematics issue I had.

When I started showing more symptoms of my issue with celiac disease, it created issues with thinking clearly and processing information (Still does if I get into stuff I shouldn't have), and I remember when my brother was little that he had the same issue if he got into sugar or whole milk rather than 1% or dry milk.
My sister's DH who has problems with red food coloring also does the same if he gets into the dye... but is otherwise 'ADHD' and has issues processing if he isn't totally focused on something and no one is talking to him while he is reading.
My DH is the same way. If you are talking to him and expect him to read along, he can only do one or the other. If he is watching TV and you talk to him, he can either hear you or the tv. He cannot multi-task.

Perhaps it's an issue as simple as not being able to multi task or food issues.. or maybe he does need to be evaluated on individual course work and see where he is failing to grasp... and maybe he needs to repeat. Being on this side of the issue it is really hard to say.

[MochaMel]

For years I have been asking the teachers if my child should repeat a grade. Every year they tell me, "no he is just immature compared to those around him".

However, this year, he is in 7th going into 8th, and our homeschool has GREAT teachers who are now agreeing that he isn't as independent as he should be at this age. Our principal also said that she was held back in 8th grade and it was the wakeup call she needed. I hate to embarress him by having him repeat, however, he is just not as mature as the other kids in his class (most of who were held back before they started our homeschool).

By the way, we have had him tested for everything, and they can find nothing wrong with his eyes or ears or listening skills, he just has processing issues where he doesn't realize what is going on...It takes me 4 times as long to cover material with him as with my daughter.

I have asked for years of those around me why he should be the smallest, slowest child in the class, even though he is very bright and loving. Now it is really catching up with him since the girls are towering over him and treating him terribly (even though this is a Christian homeschool).

Please pray for him and for wisdom in our decisions for him. Please Don't suggest more overbearing punishment, he is already trying his very hardest to keep his head above water. He has struggled with everything in his life, and all of his friends are a year or two younger...I just hope that he won't be teased if we hold him back. He justed doesn't relate well at all to kids his own grade (many who are larger and older than he is already).

Please pray for our Dear Lord to guide our actions and to slam the door open or shut for HIS glory. Thanks for you dear moms. I wish we had held him back earlier, but for whatever reason they wouldn't do it.

Hi!

My oldest homeschooled child is a 14 y.o. boy - he has some struggles academically as well.. Always has. I pulled him from public school in 1st grade b/c they were ignoring me and him in re: to testing and placing him properly. God called me to bring him home - for the last 7 years we have had our ups and downs and challenges with keeping him up w/his class.. He's always been about 1 to 2 years behind. He's a good and smart kid.. He's just very hands' on with learning and needs alot of one one time.. He finally did the right yearly test -(he's always done a test one year below his grade or been assessed when he was little)- he tested pretty good for him! He is only a bit behind in math and study skills if i am recalling correctly w/out the test in front of me. :)

That's great news b/c we were going to hold him back and re-do 8th grade.. As HSer's we can decide these things.. You have to do what's right for your child and you as a family unit, ya know?!!

We are going to probably do an alternative program for HS, were on the waiting list right now - and some vo-tech classes at the local HS program for vo-tech students if he's old enough.. He knows he has some work to do to be ready in Sept. - but it was a huge eye opener when he took that test and he has responded accordingly..

I bet your son would too whatever you decide to do.. God kindof just dumped this in my lap recently.. We have been undecided for 2 years about how to proceed for HS for him, so it was a relief to have some sort of plan for next year.. What God does is still sort of up in the air b/c of the waiting list and he's doing summer school at the vo-tech school for fun, but by Sept. we'll know for sure what he'll be doing.

Does that help you a bit??? :hug:

[Architectlink]

wow, thanks for all of the great ideas and prayers.

Obviously the BEST time to repeat a grade is BEFORE school ever starts
Or the next BEST time is when you switch schools to a new school
THE WORST time seems to be when you have been at a school for a long time and suddenly are not growing as fast as the rest of the kids, size or academically.

Here is a quick update:

Our Christian homeschool is being copied all over the US, with a 450 students and a LONG wait list. We are set up for the kids to go to school with teachers AND parent partners (2 per classroom daily--1 teacher with 1 parent assisting daily) THREE days a week, then they are homeschooled at home the other two days a week. They get all their hours in in a school year, and summers are FREEDOM...because we are on such an advanced pace.. I have the whole cirriculum and we LOVE it. He will not miss a day of school EVER...loves it. I would never pull him home 100% because he loves the Christian socialization, even if he is the youngest and smallest.

He doesn't make F's...not sure where that came in. Makes B's in the classes he loves and struggles with C's in the other classes. Next year will be a bear, since the teachers make the kids mature a lot, and he will be like a college student, really.

My worry is where most ALL of the kids whose parents are founders/administrators are in his class, so therefore they are 10 times more mature than the average kid, and they have been together for 9 years...AND they were held back early on, so ALL of them are a year older than him AND more mature, more developed...and the new kids can't break into the current groups easily...we have been there 3 years, but have watched many leave because they didn't break into the group...not that we care about being in the group...but friends are important.

YES, he would enjoy the class behind him, but then he has to make friends with another new group...and being held back might stigmatize him more.

He is extremely helpful, energetic, sweet, obedient and tries hard...just struggles to keep up...but in another year or two he will be taller than the girls and not the smallest any more. I feel sorry for the few boys who are not growing and are still tiny. We don't need to tutor through Silvan, I am his tutor, but it takes us 10 hours to get through what some kids can do in 3 hours and I need to help him all the way...at some point I need to step out of the picture so he can take the mantle. I ppray for God's wisdom and leadership to let go and LET GOD.

May God Bless your prayers and advice...thanks. will keep you posted.

[funmudder]

I am kind of lost.....I have the understanding that a home school is at home, there is no classroom with other kids. Only the parent can be the primary teacher, so I really do not understand how a group of teachers could have been doing any testing or grade promotion...you are the teacher if you are home schooling......so how is there any school involved?

We do classes with other kids, but it's with other home schoolers, just one day a week or every two weeks, and I am still the primary teacher for my kid. It's not a week in week out "classroom" situation. That would create a private school situation even with the parents taking the roles of the school teachers and would fall into the laws governing regular and private schools.

So I do not understand how he is in a classroom where girls are towering over him and he is immature compared to classmates and able to be held back a year, if he is home schooled. Being homeschooled he just simply does not advance until a subject is understood. Could be at 5th grade math, but 8th grade history and it doesn't matter because he is just in his grade..............that is one of the points of home schooling, the child learning at their rate, not the pace dictated by the government school system.

Really confused :panic :lol