In need of advice

[watching4him]

My DD2 is nine and has speech problems. She goes for speech therapy at school. She very social & out going loves all people, but I feel that her spirit is being broken by another child at Church. This little girl Debby has never liked Rachel, they were in the same class together in school last year. When we started attending Church were Debby& her family attend. She told Rachel at school that she didn't want her to attended "her" church any more.
When Rachel told me what Debby said, I told Rachel the Church did not belong to Debby but it was God's house. This week they are in Bible School, Debby has invited a friend from school who is friends with both Rachel & Debby. Rachel tries to talk with Amy, but Debby goes out of her way to keep Amy to herself. Rachel doesn't want to go to Bible School, because of how Debby is treating her. My heart aches because I know how she feels. When I was a child my life was made a living nightmare by my peers. I still carry the scares from the things that were said & done to me. Do I say something to the children's minister about how Rachel is being treated or do I just hold my baby girl while she pours out all her hurt & grief?

[christianmom]

:hug

I am so sorry that your daughter is going through this difficult situation. You know, my daughter -- also 9 -- had this same problem with a boy at our church. Not so much that he was telling her he didn't want her going but that he was calling her names and making her feel bad. Last week I had to drive the youth group to bible camp and while on the way there this same boy was harassing several girls to the point they didn't even want to eat.

When they told me about it I was very upset. I pulled him aside and I told him that a Christian young man does not behave in such a manner. That he would apologize to the girls for his behavior and if he had a problem with that then I could call the pastor and have him deal with him. The boy almost cried and did apologize to the girls. I also called his mother and told her that her son's manners were sorely lacking. That as a Christian boy he needs to be taught to respect others' feelings and not to go about insulting anybody or someone was bound to teach him a lesson and soon.

I hadn't gotten back halfway home (a 3 1/2 hour drive) when my daughter called me telling me the boy had continued to harass them. I was miffed. I called the director of our youth group and told her the situation. I also expressed to her that since she is in charge that I expected her to either talk to the mother of this child and nip it in the bud, call the pastor and tell him - if she couldn't handle it, or that I would personally speak to the mother next time I saw her at church. I told her how upset the girls were and how children have enough to deal with already without some bully causing problems for them, especially a Christian child.

He stopped doing it. I guess the mother talked to him or the pastor talked to the mother but last Sunday the mother didn't sit in her usual place. I guess she thought I was going to give her a good tongue-lashing or something. When we left after Sunday service the pastor asked me if I needed to talk to him and I told him the situation had resolved itself. I think the director of the children's group talked to the mother and told her how livid I was.

So...didn't mean to write a novel here but I would first talk to the director then if that doesn't solve the situation I would speak to the pastor. It must be stopped. Children are vulnerable and church is the last place they need to be humiliated or bullied by their peers. If my child were behaving like a non-Christian there would be heck to pay for with me. I'm a proud member of the mean mommy club :)

Praying for your situation dear. :hug

[lovinlife4]

I can relate to what you are going through somewhat as my DS age 8 went through some times of being left out out school. He would come home very upset because kids were calling him wimp and skinny (he's very thin) We told him to pray, look for other kids who might be alone and start a conversation. I also asked for prayers. About 2 weeks later, he was in good spirits again, had made 2 new friends who he still hangs with this summer and is happy he didn't try to conform to their standards. Lift her up in prayer, help her be strong and know it will all work out!!!! Big hugs to you:)

[ZeldaCA]

I would absolutely, absolutely, tell the Sunday School teacher what is going on. Having been a teacher myself, I know how important it is to know those things! Maybe the teacher can create a lesson which will really drive home the importance of loving our neighbors, of treating others as we'd like to be treated, all that good stuff.

She can also watch and make sure that Debby is not isolating your daughter by her mean-spiritedness, and make sure she is around other friends she can rely on.

[antsinmypants]

Absolutely involve the sunday school teacher, youth pastor and if need be the head pastor... and get their advice as well. If things keep up, I'd even say involve her parents, as I am sure they wouldn't want their precious snowball to be acting that way.

pray for her, and involve your daughter in praying for her as well. :hug

[lisaann]

Tell the teacher and the parents as well. I know if my child were saying horrible things to another then I would want to know about it.