BULLY how would you handle this?

[CircleSlide]

Ok I hope I can keep this story short. This past Sunday a family had brought a boy with them who was around 12, pretty big kid . He and my son don't get along my son calls him a bully and from what I could tell from others he is. After the morning church service I was gathering all my stuff and talking with others, when the pastor's wife come in and told me that she saw this kid call my son a "retard" in which my son called him a "steam roller" so the kid slapped my son in the face. She runs over and physically puts her self between them, btw my son had turned and was walking away. The pastor's wife proceeded to tell me that he kept coming at her and was not backing down she told him to back off; he kept coming. Finally she said do I have to go and get the pastor, this must have done it cause he backed down. She then said to go and wait by the car, and took my son to find me. She then found the mom that brought him and told her the story.

Apparently the kid had been disrespectful earlier to the Sunday School teacher and the mother of the family that brought him. The pastors wife has decided that the boy can not come back until he can learn to control himself. His mom called me today and wanted to get the whole story, I was very gentle with her cause I could tell she has been though a lot with this kid. She sounds like a christian lady and attends church but that church has asked her not to bring him back there either. He is very aggressive, smart mouthed, puts you down constantly, and is very physically. I think to protect the other children this was the right call. So what do you guys think? I had a long talk with the mom and do feel for this kid but hey my son was the one who was victimized.

BTW my son is high functioning autistic and the word retard is a word that can really upset him.

[ZeldaCA]

I don't think he should come back to where he could potentially victimize other children. Perhaps he could attend church only and skip Sunday School? That way he'd be with his guardians the whole time and not in contact with any other children?

You hate to keep a kid out of Sunday School, but this one sounds like an accident waiting to happen. And obviously the church he just got kicked out of felt the same! I'd say your pastor's wife is doing the right thing, and also that you handled things well with the mother when she called you.

[Theresa]

The kid should be kept away from other children until he learns and actually does control himself.

[Kerusso02]

break his legs...

not really, but i can say that it hits home as we had one of these in our sunday school growing up. If he is going to hinder the growth of others, he needs not be there, or needs to be under constant supervision. Not much anyone else can do, the rest is up to the mother to dicipline her son...or he will have to learn the hard way when he tries to bully the wrong person out in the world.

[CircleSlide]

Thanks guys, I do want to show grace but where does safty of others come into play?

My major concern as was the pastor's wife, was the fact that he was trying to go through her to get to my son; he didn't care that she was an adult or the pastor's wife he just wanted to get to my son. She had to threaten to get the pastor, who btw is a big man I wouldn't mess with. LOL I am afraid when my son now goes to school, is this going to be a bigger problem? They are in the same grade.

[Sparkles]

Hi Im sorry this happened to your son. Kids can be so cruel to eachother ( even Christian kids)

I think the person should be allowed to bring the boy to church but not go to children's church. He has to respectfully sit with the people who brought him there. After a few weeks maybe he can go down for a short time. God can touch his heart He needs Jesus just like the rest of us. Where better plav\ce to bring this troubled child. Turning him away I feel would give the wrong message ( as hard as it is ) Jesus said Let the Children come to me.