Seeking advice from other moms

[Jen867]

Hi everyone. I was wanting some advice / opinions. I am a stay at home mom, I have 2 kids, 4 and 18 months. I quit working when my son (the 4 yr old) was born. I did not like my job, I was an insurance underwriter. I was SO happy and blessed to get to quit.
Anyway, it has been on my heart for years (before my kids were born) to go to nursing school. I would like to be either an L&D nurse, or some type of pediatric nurse, in a hospital. Either caring for women or children..hopefully I would find out where I should be by being in school. That way I could work 3 shifts a week and still be home with my kids, etc. Anyway, I am currently finishing up the pre-reqs for nursing school. I plan to apply this spring for fall '09 admission.
The thing is, it is expensive, and with oil soaring and only getting higher, I don't know if it is worth it. Also, I don't know if I want to be away from my kids at all right now. I mean, do we all agree the world is getting worse? (I know I think this). So, part of me doesn't even want to bother with it anymore, I just want to be with my family. I don't know if I have been reading too much gloom and doom or what, but as a Christian I truly believe that the rapture is imminent.
Am I being silly? Should I carry on as life is "normal" (whatever that is?) My heart is heavy about this, I just don't know what to do. If I tell people, including DH, that I just don't want to do it because of this he would think I am crazy. I don't have the answer. Am I over-reacting? Should I continue as nothing is going on? With the coming Iran war (most likely...) things are to get worse, right? I have been praying about this for months, and felt like I should ask here, maybe someone can help me see clearly.

Do any of you have thoughts like this?? Maybe I am just not seeing clearly.?

Thanks for your time I know this was way long!

Jen

[HSmomto4]

Jen, I'm a real believer that if you can stay home with your children then you should. There are many, many bible verses that promote Mothers staying at home with their children. You will have plenty of time (if we aren't raptured first) to live your dreams later on in life, but right now God has in trusted with you the care of 2 children that you will one day stand before God and answer for. The world tries to teach us that motherhood is a curse, but in fact it is a blessing and our number one priority should be the mission of leading our children to Christ. Deuteronomy 6 is where we draw our family attitude. It tells us to teach our children when they sit, when they lay down, when they walk... in other words, we should be talking to them all the time about God and I just don't see how we can do what God has asked if we aren't with them.

[happymommy728]

Hey, I too have considered going back and getting another degree in nursing or a similar field. I'd love to be able to work a few hours a day when my children go to school.
I'd continue to pray about it and talk to your husband. I'd also continue to pursue it at a slow pace so you're able to be home with your children while they are young.
If it's a goal for you, pursue it...God will show you to what extent to use this degree and training in the future.
Praying for you!

[writesinme]

Hey Jen--I agree with HSmomto4. If you're blessed enough to be home with your children, then it's the best place to be! I will say, though, that nursing is a field that offers flexibility. My sister is an ICU nurse, but she only works two days a week. My neighbor is a pediatric nurse who only goes in on Fridays. In most cases, part-time work doesn't pay enough to make it worth your time--nursing is different. The pay can be very good and, again, flexibility is usually an option.

You said you quit when your oldest was born. I'm assuming then that you've never experienced what it's like to be a mom who works full-time outside of the home. Well, I have and let me tell ya...I would not go back to those days for anything! I was in the corporate world (advertising and marketing) until my oldest was four. The few years I spent as a working mom were the most miserable and stressful years of my life! It's been 11 years since I walked away--I still have dreams about the stress and wake up so relieved that I don't have to "be at my desk" by 8:30.

I came up in the era of women in suits and red power blouses. We were the generation who believed the lie about "having it all" and being successful at it all. The truth is that working full-time, being a mom, a wife, running a household, having family time, getting children to activities, etc...you are exhausted all the time and it's hard to give 100 percent to anything.

Daycare costs were outrageous, not to mention gas, clothing, panty hose (YUK!) meals and the never ending collections for Bob's retirement, Mary's birthday...it cost a lot of money to go to work and make money!

I felt like I had to jump through hoops just to take my child to the dentist or attend one of their daycare plays or parties.. Co-workers resented me "getting to stay home" because I had a sick child. I even had a boss tell me that I was holding back his department because I was a mom...he said he couldn't rely on me, since one of my children might need me!! I'm not alone here...I've got plenty of friends, now moms at home, who said they were penalized in the work force because they had children.

Now, I know working moms who are highly successful and make the big bucks--but boy, at what cost!! They don't see their children! They miss ballgames, school events, everything.

My children are now high schoolers and middle schoolers...and you know what I've learned? The older your children get, the more you need to be at home! Kids that age can't go to daycare or after school programs. Most moms in my neighborhood are home, but we have a couple who aren't. Their middle school-aged boys are unsupervised in the late afternoon, as well as in the summer--they roam and get in trouble. One almost burned his house down. Another one was on top of the roof, and was also picked up by police because he was found walking along a busy highway.

Well, I've turned this into a "vent". Sorry! Bottom line: take this to the Lord in prayer and wait for Him to lead you. Again, nursing offers lots of flexibility, so this might be a very doabe thing in your life. If not now, then maybe when you're children are in school (unless you're homeschooling!) My neighbor who is a pediactric nurse only works one day and only during school hours. She's home before the school bus is! I have another friend who is an ICU pediatric nurse at a huge children's hospital. She, too, worked out a schedule that has her home before the bus.

If being a nurse is something the Lord put on your heart, then He has a plan...trust Him and He will lead you on the path that yeilds the best scenario for your family. He will make it a workable situation that is beneficial to everyone!

[BeNotAfraid]

You have received wonderful advice. I agree, you should stay home with your children if you can. If you really believe the rapture is imminent, what could be more important than spending every waking moment serving God by serving your family? I truly believe that mothers' mission fields begin at home. If you had to work to support your family, this would be a different discussion. There are many of us on here with advanced degrees. I have worked full time as a mom and gone to college full time as a mom. Both cases were a nightmare. People always say "It will be tough but you can do it". The times I was in school my family literally fell apart. It's easy to say that school will come after God, your husband, and your children--but in reality, it is very difficult not to sometimes let school come before those priorities if you are someone who is working towards a goal and wanting to do the best you possibly can. Nursing school is strenuous and they generally discourage parents with small children from attending. You can't miss class and you can't miss clinicals--they don't care if your child is sick. There will be time when they are older.

Also, if you are counting on student loans, there is a good possibility that you will not be able to get those in the next several years. In addition, there is no true shortage of nurses. There is only a shortage of nurses who will work under certain conditions. There are a ton of nurses who hold licenses but don't work, or who haven't renewed their licenses, or who are in retirement. As the economy gets worse, we will likely see a lot of those nurses come out of the woodwork looking for employment. You would be at the bottom of the list in terms of hiring. That means you also get the yucky shifts. Just something to think about. :)

[lisaann]

Scriptures tell us that there is a season for everything. If the Lord should delay his coming perhaps in a few years, when your children are older, you could then go back to school for nursing.

I know myself I am homeschooling my kids right now but I am thinking of going back to school myself for a teaching degree. However, right now my season is to be at home.

The feminist movement lied to us. They told us we could have it all right now. The fact is we can't.

[Jen867]

If you really believe the rapture is imminent, what could be more important than spending every waking moment serving God by serving your family?

I do believe this. You are right and I think I know the answer in my heart.

Thank all of you for your responses today. Now, my only obstacle is telling my DH I want to slow down and get back to just being a mommy...and wife...

Hopefully, he can understand. :thinking

[LookingUplinda]

yeaaa to stay at home mommies:yeah

[BeNotAfraid]

I do believe this. You are right and I think I know the answer in my heart.

Thank all of you for your responses today. Now, my only obstacle is telling my DH I want to slow down and get back to just being a mommy...and wife...

Hopefully, he can understand. :thinking

:hug

[HSmomto4]

I do believe this. You are right and I think I know the answer in my heart.

Thank all of you for your responses today. Now, my only obstacle is telling my DH I want to slow down and get back to just being a mommy...and wife...

Hopefully, he can understand. :thinking

Do it with the word of God and he can't say anything against it. :thumb