Need Advice!

[baileysmom]

I’m usually a lurker on these boards, and I have to say that reading the stuff here has really been a blessing to me. I'm not much of one to post on message boards, but I finally decided to sign up and post today because I have a HUGE dilemma and I don’t have a clue about what to do. I thought maybe some of you guys could help me. I found out last week that my daughter will have a teacher next year in 5th grade that I’m almost positive is a lesbian. :ohno I mean, we live in a pretty small community in Texas where everybody knows everybody else and everybody’s business and it’s been gossip for years, even though I don’t think she’s actually out of the closet or anything. She doesn’t really look like a lesbian, not what you’d consider butch or anything, she’s actually really pretty and feminine, and she’s always been nice whenever I’ve had to deal with her, which really hasn’t been much, just in passing. BUT … she’s lived with the same woman for several years (the woman she lives with is a police detective and she definitely looks like a typical lesbian), and its common knowledge around our town that they’re “together” in that way. :twitch

I don’t know what to do, and this has been REALLY bugging me since I found out. I am NOT accepting of the homosexual lifestyle and I think it is completely repulsive and wrong. Honestly, I don’t even think gays should be allowed to be teachers in my opinion. Just too much potential for something bad to happen and too much wrong influence, if you ask me. I don’t want my daughter to think its ok to be gay, and I’m afraid if she likes her teacher, she’ll think that kind of lifestyle is ok when it’s not. The problem is, I don’t think this woman is officially out of the closet, either, even though everybody knows she’s probably gay, even the kids talk about it, so I’m not sure if I should make a big deal about it or not. I did mention to the principal that I wasn’t real happy with my daughter’s placement but he just brushed me off and told me that this teacher was an excellent teacher and that her students test scores were some of the highest in the school and that I should be lucky that my daughter will have her. :rolleyes He also told me class placements wouldn’t be changed. I would send my daughter to a private Christian school but there’s no way I can afford that and we can’t afford to homeschool either because me and my husband both have to work. I would love to be able to stay home and homeschool, but that is not going to happen anytime soon. Not working just isn’t an option for me right now. I also thought about maybe changing school districts but found out they’re pretty strict about letting people do that because of overcrowding, so that’s not going to happen either. My daughter is in a good public school, probably one of the best in our area, I just don’t know about this teacher.

The more I think about it, the worse feeling I have about it. Part of me thinks I’m overreacting, but part of me also thinks if I don’t stand up and object to this, nobody else will. And then what if something happens to my daughter or if she winds up thinking its ok to be gay? I just don’t know anymore. Any advice? :scratch

[Buzzardhut]

I’m usually a lurker on these boards, and I have to say that reading the stuff here has really been a blessing to me. I'm not much of one to post on message boards, but I finally decided to sign up and post today because I have a HUGE dilemma and I don’t have a clue about what to do. I thought maybe some of you guys could help me. I found out last week that my daughter will have a teacher next year in 5th grade that I’m almost positive is a lesbian.
Praying for your situation :pray

[baileysmom]

Thank you Buzzardhut! I guess I should add that I'm not really worried that this lady will do anything to actually harm my daughter. I just think a gay teacher is a terrible influence on young minds. Teachers are supposed to be role models and a gay teacher is not a role model that I want for my daughter. My problem is I can't do anything about it. We're most likely going to be stuck with this woman for the whole school year and I don't want my daughter to get the idea that its ok to be gay. She's already talking about having the "gay teacher." We've instilled the right values in her but kids are so easily swayed by the world. I don't know what I'll do if she comes home one day and tells me she thinks there's nothing wrong with being gay.

[Cd4u_2]

hmmm, 5th grade is the year they start sex education right? evenually, she will come across liberal teacher as well who isn't gay but treat gay as perfectly natural thing if a student raise her hand to ask about it. (well I don't know what the law is , but either way, the teacher who agree with gay relationship will probably just act very understanding).


you can get her some books about what God say about sex and marriage. Carolyn Nystrom write good books.

[Buzzardhut]

It's a greater reflection on the school principle who hired her and the school district allowing it to happen.

It's the common result of the day and age we live in

[baileysmom]

hmmm, 5th grade is the year they start sex education right? evenually, she will come across liberal teacher as well who isn't gay but treat gay as perfectly natural thing if a student raise her hand to ask about it. (well I don't know what the law is , but either way, the teacher who agree with gay relationship will probably just act very understanding)
you should get her some books about what God say about sex and marriage. Carolyn Nystrom write good books


Thanks for the advice. I'll definitely check out the book you suggested. My daughter knows our feelings on the gay lifestyle and she knows that we believe its wrong. I'm just worried about her being negatively influenced by this woman. My daughter is 10 years old and really impressionable. I don't want her to think this is something she should tolerate or accept because she looks up to her teacher and her teacher is gay.

[Cd4u_2]

I do want to tell you that, this is just the beginning, if you have a problem with this teacher, you will have problem with many other liberal teachers, might as well pull her out. or handle it the best you can.

about the book, I remember reading all kinds of pregnancy books that my mom kept. Your daughter is more likely to be curious as well so get some good christian books to keep at home, otherwise she will read junks from school.

[Hope in Him]

Hi Baileysmom,

I understand your concerns...I would have them as well. However, if moving her into a different class, different school. private school, or homeschooling is not an option...maybe there is a reason. You might try to veiw this as an opportunity to teach your daughter "hate the sin, but love the sinner." Once your daughter becomes aware of the difference of this teacher...then is the time to talk and help her sort it out. Conversations about the sin...the teacher is clearly in the wrong...but this means she is lost...(aren't we all at some point and time?) Showing her how to love the teacher while acknowledging the sinful state of the teacher's life. God has place several gay people in my life at different times. He has given me a love for those who he has chosen. I had no problems introducing them to my kids. I spoke openly to my children about the sin...and we pray frequently for those persons. One of these dear friends, my children got to see...God stripped everything in their lives away. (Tornado blew away their house...had to move out of state, new job, new friends (all Christians) isolation...then redemption! That friend is now a happily married woman to a pastor in SC. She is the only one that has converted to Christianity...however...my daughter is now 19 and friends to a young openly gay man. She says frequently that he is defensive of his life style because in his heart he knows he is wrong. She also believes in time, with love, he will turn to God. I am glad she has learned this lesson. (And as a mother, the thought of my 19 year old daughter hanging out with a young gay man...well, honestly it makes my heart scared!!:faint) I try to remember that I have taught her well...and God's hand is in this. You see, I introduced them...because I thought God had placed him in my life for a purpose. He is nearer in age to DD and they hit it off. I felt drawn to him...but it is strange...since I introduced DD...I don't feel that drawing towards him any longer.

All I really mean is, if there isn't a way out perhaps...there is a reason...but make sure that as she questions, examines the situation that you speak the truth to your daughter. Teach her to love this person as God loves them but it is important that she sees them clearly...that means the flaws as well. God sees our worth even though we're flawed.

The part of this I really hate for you is your daughter is young...and the possible loss of innoncent for your child. Yet, it almost seems impossible nowdays unless you keep them from public schools to protect them from this type of information. Chances are even if she doesn't have her for a teacher...her friends will and this information will be made available to her no matter what. That is the sad part for your family and the other families in the school. :hug

I don't know if any of this helps in any way. I hope in some small way it does. Prayfully consider all the options and God will guide you to handle it the way he wants!

Hope

[baileysmom]

I do want to tell you that, this is just the beginning, if you have a problem with this teacher, you will have problem with many other liberal teachers, might as well pull her out. or handle it the best you can.

about the book, I remember reading all kinds of pregnancy books that my mom kept. Your daughter is more likely to be curious as well so get some good christian books to keep at home, otherwise she will read junks from school.

Trust me, I would pull her out of the public school system if I could. We just can't afford that right now. I'm really just at a loss about how to handle this. Like I said, I'll definitely check out the books you mentioned. Any other advice anybody can give me would be appreciated, too. Has anybody else ever delt with something like this? I know I need to set my daughter down and really talk to her about this, I just don't know what to say. She's so young and we should NOT have to be dealing with this sort of thing right now! I don't want her to be tolerant of the gay lifestyle, but I don't want her to think she can be disrespectful or rude to her teacher either because that would only get her in trouble. But, then, how can you honestly respect anybody who chooses to live that way?

[baileysmom]

Hi Baileysmom,

I understand your concerns...I would have them as well. However, if moving her into a different class, different school. private school, or homeschooling is not an option...maybe there is a reason. You might try to veiw this as an opportunity to teach your daughter "hate the sin, but love the sinner." Once your daughter becomes aware of the difference of this teacher...then is the time to talk and help her sort it out. Conversations about the sin...the teacher is clearly in the wrong...but this means she is lost...(aren't we all at some point and time?) Showing her how to love the teacher while acknowledging the sinful state of the teacher's life. God has place several gay people in my life at different times. He has given me a love for those who he has chosen. I had no problems introducing them to my kids. I spoke openly to my children about the sin...and we pray frequently for those persons. One of these dear friends, my children got to see...God stripped everything in their lives away. (Tornado blew away their house...had to move out of state, new job, new friends (all Christians) isolation...then redemption! That friend is now a happily married woman to a pastor in SC. She is the only one that has converted to Christianity...however...my daughter is now 19 and friends to a young openly gay man. She says frequently that he is defensive of his life style because in his heart he knows he is wrong. She also believes in time, with love, he will turn to God. I am glad she has learned this lesson. (And as a mother, the thought of my 19 year old daughter hanging out with a young gay man...well, honestly it makes my heart scared!!:faint) I try to remember that I have taught her well...and God's hand is in this. You see, I introduced them...because I thought God had placed him in my life for a purpose. He is nearer in age to DD and they hit it off. I felt drawn to him...but it is strange...since I introduced DD...I don't feel that drawing towards him any longer.

All I really mean is, if there isn't a way out perhaps...there is a reason...but make sure that as she questions, examines the situation that you speak the truth to your daughter. Teach her to love this person as God loves them but it is important that she sees them clearly...that means the flaws as well. God sees our worth even though we're flawed.

The part of this I really hate for you is your daughter is young...and the possible loss of innoncent for your child. Yet, it almost seems impossible nowdays unless you keep them from public schools to protect them from this type of information. Chances are even if she doesn't have her for a teacher...her friends will and this information will be made available to her no matter what. That is the sad part for your family and the other families in the school. :hug

I don't know if any of this helps in any way. I hope in some small way it does. Prayfully consider all the options and God will guide you to handle it the way he wants!

Hope

Thank you, Hope! I really liked what you had to say about this. I try to be the kind of person who hates the sin but loves the sinner, but this is just hitting so close to home. It breaks my heart to think my daughter will lose her innocence this early, and it terrifies me that she might eventually think this lifestyle is acceptable.

I don't seem to have too many options. We're stuck. The only thing I've thought about is maybe going to the school board with my concerns since the principal won't help, but I don't know if that is appropriate. I mean, I don't think this teacher is even officially "out of the closet," but everybody knows. I know that might sound like a lot of conjecture, but if you lived where I do, you'd understand. It's obvious without being said.

I hope we can be a positive influence in this woman's life. I just hate it being at my daughter's expense.