Is the grass really greener on the other side?

[ChristiRenee]

My true heart's desire is to be a wife and mother. I've never been really ambitious, never wanted to get ahead in the corporate world, never wanted to be famous or to do anything great (except the Lord's will). I just want to be a wife and mom and every day that desire grows deeper and deeper.

I just turned 31, which is still young I know, but I realize that I am starting to get impatient and resent having to work 2 jobs trying to make it on my own. I just want this part of my life to be over, I feel like my true calling hasn't happened yet.

I talk to other wives/mothers and they tell me that the grass is not greener, that they have very hard lives trying to take care of a family. They don't get sick days, they don't get time off, they basically have to give up their own lives and sacrifice their own desires for the good of the family. It's a 24/7 job and they would love to switch places with me. BUT THAT SOUNDS LIKE HEAVEN TO ME! I would be doing something I love, have a passion for and have been praying about for a long time!

I don't want to be impatient, I don't want to feel this way about my life. Part of me knows that if I can't be happy in whatever circumstance I am in, then I will never be happy and that it's something inside of me, not what's happening to me. I also don't want to thwart God's work in my life as I feel He is preparing me for marriage and kids. Also God gave me these jobs and I am so very lucky to be able to make the money I do and to live the way I live!

I guess my question to all of you who have gone through this is: is the grass really greener on the other side? I am so overwhelmed right now, giving so much to both of my jobs that I feel utterly drained and exhausted and it's coming out in physical signs like achy body, severe headaches, heightened IBS, no energy, irritability and moodiness, etc. I feel like my heart's just not in it.

I don't want to live my life by my feelings. I've been praying for God to hold me up ... who knows, He may have other plans for me (lifetime singleness). I don't know, I just would like to know if what I am going through is normal. :idunno

[funmudder]

A wise woman once stated: The grass is always greener over the septic tank.


I can relate to your frustration, only having it focused on other areas. It seems the more frustrated I get, the more I am forced to just trust God, hand it over to Him. The less time I spend trying to control and direct, the more peace I find. The more peace I find, the more I can really experience the joy of what my life is in the here and now. Every single thing you are living with and going through today is preparing you for what He has in store for you in the future.

So basically what I'm saying is: Do your best to just hand this desire and frustration over to God, and do NOT take it back from Him. The grass will always look greener over on other peoples lives because you will never know all of their frustrations, dreams, desires they are longing for thinking the grass is greener on your lawn.

If it helps any, at 33 I am still feeling like I am waiting for whatever my calling is to start......and I'm a happily married home schooling mom to 5 great kids.

[lisa]

Being single when you want to be married and have a family STINKS!
Feeling the way you feel is COMPLETELY normal.
:hug

[Lisa in OK]

Well, greener or not, it's still grass. I know that doesn't help you but . . . what you are feeling is completely normal. If you didn't seek to do/be better (whatever it is that you consider "better") then you have stagnated, which is not good any way you look at it. Just remember that, in addition to prayer and faith, everyone needs times of "stillness", both physical and mental.

[Pudding]

:hug Going through same thing. The singleness somedays become actually painful. But it really depends on whose grass you are looking at. I see very happyily married couples ,and the ones that make everyday a work in progress. Very rarily does God call people to be permenantly single. I don't think you will be either if that's what you truely desire, and you feel God is preparing you. Maybe he is preparing your future husband too. Pray about it and your work, it sounds like you need a day off. <:,)

[Krayola]

I just wanted to drop in here and tell you that I did not get married until I was 28 and during my early years right after college I had a really hard time supporting myself and making ends meet. I know what it is like to work 12 hour days, 2 jobs at one time...7 days a week sometimes. Just a practical piece of advise here: the ease of single life changed drastically for me (for the better) once I got a room-mate to share expenses with. Having a room-mate gives you the benefits of a 2-income household while still remaining single. I know it can be hard to find a good reliable trustworthy room-mate but it is worth it, if you are single and having problems making ends meet.

[john321]

My true heart's desire is to be a wife and mother. I've never been really ambitious, never wanted to get ahead in the corporate world, never wanted to be famous or to do anything great (except the Lord's will). I just want to be a wife and mom and every day that desire grows deeper and deeper.

I just turned 31, which is still young I know, but I realize that I am starting to get impatient and resent having to work 2 jobs trying to make it on my own. I just want this part of my life to be over, I feel like my true calling hasn't happened yet.

I talk to other wives/mothers and they tell me that the grass is not greener, that they have very hard lives trying to take care of a family. They don't get sick days, they don't get time off, they basically have to give up their own lives and sacrifice their own desires for the good of the family. It's a 24/7 job and they would love to switch places with me. BUT THAT SOUNDS LIKE HEAVEN TO ME! I would be doing something I love, have a passion for and have been praying about for a long time!

I don't want to be impatient, I don't want to feel this way about my life. Part of me knows that if I can't be happy in whatever circumstance I am in, then I will never be happy and that it's something inside of me, not what's happening to me. I also don't want to thwart God's work in my life as I feel He is preparing me for marriage and kids. Also God gave me these jobs and I am so very lucky to be able to make the money I do and to live the way I live!

I guess my question to all of you who have gone through this is: is the grass really greener on the other side? I am so overwhelmed right now, giving so much to both of my jobs that I feel utterly drained and exhausted and it's coming out in physical signs like achy body, severe headaches, heightened IBS, no energy, irritability and moodiness, etc. I feel like my heart's just not in it.

I don't want to live my life by my feelings. I've been praying for God to hold me up ... who knows, He may have other plans for me (lifetime singleness). I don't know, I just would like to know if what I am going through is normal. :idunno

As a man I plead with you trust in The Lord to lead you and guide you:pray:pray:pray. Yes the grass is greener on the other side but you best believe the water and lawn care "BILL" is a lot higher. My sister, "can you hear me now"?

[His Bride]

ChristiRenee, I am living the life I always wanted as a wife and mother. Next month we will celebrate our 30th wedding anniversary. I am so very grateful to the Lord for allowing me this place in the world. We have had four children, one who died at the age of 7 unexpectedly. Last year we became grandparents for the first time. I wouldn't trade any of this for anything. However, you cannot be married for 30 years without some deep regrets and much pain. I know your desire to be married and have children. The Lord is aware of your deepest longings. Just know, dear, that no, life is not greener on the other side. The closer you get to the Lord the more you see that wherever you are in your life is where He either has placed you or allowed you to be. Each and every moment lived in His will and at His time can be a moment that becomes a precious gem in our lives. I would encourage you to share your heart with Him but also to accept with gratitude the place He has given you at the moment. Living in this world is not easy, but no one place has all the answers. No one place will make all of your dreams come true. Life is difficult, wherever you are. There have been moments when I would trade my life in for the solitude of an apartment and a job with no one to be responsible for. Then I realize how childish I have been, and selfish, and have found that I can be content in whatever place I am. That is what the apostle Paul learned. Sometimes when I feel like have a pityparty I realize that I am spending too much time thinking about myself. It is moments like those that I need to get involved with someone who has needs greater than my own and start thinking outside of myself. Don't give up on your dreams, but know that God's timing is probably different than your own.
God bless you.

[BlessedAssurance]

:hug My sister and I were both 'older' when we married. I was 27, she was 32. I found the perfect man for ME. I don't think my sister did find her perfect mate. So, for me, yes, my grass is green. For Amy, well... she certainly loves her daughter that she adopted from Russia.

My advice is to 1)stop working so hard. Find a way to step back and enjoy your life. 2) get involved with some other people. Become a Big Sister, volunteer at a church, a battered women's shelter to work with the kids, read in a classroom 1x each week. I think you're feeling isolated and need to build relationships.

I've been praying for you since you posted your question. God has a plan for you. Pray for God's will to be made clear. :hug

You really have my sympathies. I pray that you will have everything you want.

[antsinmypants]

:hug