Sexual Temptation

[chrisb743]

Just wondering if it is a struggle with any one else? I've been divorced for nearly 4 years now.. I went through some very dark days after my divorce... Went out with a lot of people, and the sexual oppurtunity was all ways there... I never took it.. I was pretty strong... That didn't mean I was super human.. I just could walk away.. I had many many girls just get plain out mad because I wouldn't.. During that season of singleness I prayed and prayed for God to bring me someone, but it always was dead ends.. Being single these days is very tough, and to be in your mid 30's... Well... I did what I thought I never would... I joined one of those internet dating sites... Dont know if I'm allowed to mention names, but it's the one where they match you on your compatibility.. you know the one... Was on there for a while, talked to a couple of people, met one, then met the girl that is my girlfriend.. which we will be together a year this Monday... We fought the temptation for so long, gave in, and it's been so very hard every since... We've talked about it at length, we're both convicted about it, we know the truth, we set out to do right.... we fall.... time after time... It's so frustrating... It's hard to come to the Lord time after time... hear I am again Lord... I did it again... Am I alone in this struggle with the flesh?

[antitox]

Internet dating sites are not recommended. A few people may have found someone who was their perfect match, but those are very rare, and you don't know how long they last.

I was on some dating sites for about 7 months and met a good number of women as a result, but whenever I found someone who seemed right and went out with her for awhile, it still ended up not being the right thing. Often, these folks are willing to SETTLE for someone because they long for a real relationship so much. You cannot find the right person when you're willing to settle for some things you want in someone and not coming to terms about everything else. There needs to be real LOVE, and it's found when you slowly connect with those you meet in your day-to-day life.

You have to know what you really want. Most people know what they like, but don't really know what they need and want for themselves aside from chemistry; they can have their list, but that's not the real necessities, and I think that we spend most of our lives making discoveries about ourselves as well as everything else.

That's just my two cents, but I can't say it enough. I do not use dating sites anymore, and I'll just hope that I come across this special person when the time is right. I'm letting God decide for me.

Temptation of this type is always strong, because of being young and the emotional effect of it. Get friends that can help support you on this.

[Tall Timbers]

Just wondering if it is a struggle with any one else? I've been divorced for nearly 4 years now.. I went through some very dark days after my divorce...

The flesh is weak, we know. My suggestion is that you and your girlfriend repent before God and each other, then agree not to be alone together where temptation would have the upper hand. Honor God and He will bless you. Find a way, He will help you.

[chrisb743]

Internet dating sites are not recommended. A few people may have found someone who was their perfect match, but those are very rare, and you don't know how long they last.

I was on some dating sites for about 7 months and met a good number of women as a result, but whenever I found someone who seemed right and went out with her for awhile, it still ended up not being the right thing. Often, these folks are willing to SETTLE for someone because they long for a real relationship so much. You cannot find the right person when you're willing to settle for some things you want in someone and not coming to terms about everything else. There needs to be real LOVE, and it's found when you slowly connect with those you meet in your day-to-day life.

You have to know what you really want. Most people know what they like, but don't really know what they need and want for themselves aside from chemistry; they can have their list, but that's not the real necessities, and I think that we spend most of our lives making discoveries about ourselves as well as everything else.

That's just my two cents, but I can't say it enough. I do not use dating sites anymore, and I'll just hope that I come across this special person when the time is right. I'm letting God decide for me.

Temptation of this type is always strong, because of being young and the emotional effect of it. Get friends that can help support you on this.

I hear you.. We both went through our seasons... We both are the same as not wanting to settle for anything less.. We've always agreed, and we both got to the place before we met that we really didn't need anyone.. That was a tough process for me... I got very lonely... But after about three years, I got content.... then met her

[DAVEYBOY]

Hey Chrisb743, good for you that you've met someone you can form a relationship with. Glad to hear that.
As far as sexual temptation, oh man! Yeah that's a big one for me as well. Funny, I had tons of girlfriends in my life some of whom cheated on me. I never cheated on anyone-had lots of chances too, but never gave in. And seriously, I never will. And my marriage isn't so good, but it's just one of those things that I know will never happen. I could never bring myself to cheat on anyone. Having said that though, the lust is always present! Looking at other women and trying hard not to think of sexual thoughts. Trying to restrain from the occassional glance at porn on the internet. Yeah it's tough! You are not alone. And I used to think I was some kind of freak pervert for feeling this way. But something that helped mewas remembering that Jesus knows what it feels like to be a man and know what those temptations all feel like. Now He didn't give in, but He DID know the urges.
Fight it man! It is hard. But no you are not alone.

[Jaybird74]

chrisb -

have you and the GF discussed the possibility of only being around each other in public - so that the temptation is more reigned in?

Also, if you want to hang out at home together, then perhaps have some friends over as well - or keep some windows open - so as you're not all alone behind closed doors and windows?

Sounds a little lame, I know - but if you can't keep off of each other, then limitations - sometimes extreme - must be put in place if you wish to respect each other, and get yourselves back on track in regards to what the LORD expects of you both.

[DAVEYBOY]

chrisb -

have you and the GF discussed the possibility of only being around each other in public - so that the temptation is more reigned in?

Also, if you want to hang out at home together, then perhaps have some friends over as well - or keep some windows open - so as you're not all alone behind closed doors and windows?

Sounds a little lame, I know - but if you can't keep off of each other, then limitations - sometimes extreme - must be put in place if you wish to respect each other, and get yourselves back on track in regards to what the LORD expects of you both.

That's good advice. Also I would wonder if the G/F is also a Christian and can maybe pray together.

[mbtcforJesus]

The flesh is weak, we know. My suggestion is that you and your girlfriend repent before God and each other, then agree not to be alone together where temptation would have the upper hand. Honor God and He will bless you. Find a way, He will help you.

I agree. This is a very good suggestion. I don't think the Lord will continue to bless a relationship where the two of you are succumbing to temptation in the sexual realm.

[rodyshusband]

Just wondering if it is a struggle with any one else? I've been divorced for nearly 4 years now.. I went through some very dark days after my divorce... Went out with a lot of people, and the sexual oppurtunity was all ways there... I never took it.. I was pretty strong... That didn't mean I was super human.. I just could walk away.. I had many many girls just get plain out mad because I wouldn't.. During that season of singleness I prayed and prayed for God to bring me someone, but it always was dead ends.. Being single these days is very tough, and to be in your mid 30's... Well... I did what I thought I never would... I joined one of those internet dating sites... Dont know if I'm allowed to mention names, but it's the one where they match you on your compatibility.. you know the one... Was on there for a while, talked to a couple of people, met one, then met the girl that is my girlfriend.. which we will be together a year this Monday... We fought the temptation for so long, gave in, and it's been so very hard every since... We've talked about it at length, we're both convicted about it, we know the truth, we set out to do right.... we fall.... time after time... It's so frustrating... It's hard to come to the Lord time after time... hear I am again Lord... I did it again... Am I alone in this struggle with the flesh?

Being alone in this struggle? NEVER!
Temptations are pounding all of us everyday. Temptations coupled with imagination compounded with our emotions...it's part of our struggle.
Our loving and gracious Lord brought the woman who became my wife to me when I stopped looking for one and concentrated on getting closer to Him first.

[beanboy]

Nope - definitely not alone there. I've had issues with internet porn in the past. What got me past that was my wife finding out about it. It sounds weird - I know - but her knowing about it kept me from feeling like wanting to look at it again. So maybe posting about your temptations here - having others know about it - will help. If there is a friend you can trust with this issue as well - let them know, and ask them to help you out.

Just know that almost every man out there at least thinks about it and/or struggles. I give you credit for admitting it.