Discouraged and have questions....help?

[scrappergirl]

So, we are on day five of our first year of homeschooling our son (the girls are still in public school). It has been a rough 5 days. I didn't buy a prepkg'd curriculum because I thought I could do without it and make up my own with the "What your Fourth Grader should know" books and using a curriculum outline from another (better) school district to guide me on what to teach.

THus far we have had at least 4 arguments (son and I) about the work. Lots of workbook pages (lang. arts, math, reading (Cricket in Times Square), plus vocab words, spelling words, etc. He fights tooth and nail (except, oddly, with reading the book, which I expected the most aggravation with). Today he pouted and asked when I was going to teach him, and I told him so far he KNOWS what we're doing bc its REVIEW...and there is nothing 'new' yet to 'teach'...long story short, I ended up telling him to find his school clothes (they wear dress code) and I'd wash them so he could go back to school on Monday. He said: "But you just filled the paperwork out to take me out of school", and I replied: "So, I will just look like a fool and tell them we coudln't do it, and you can go back with your friends." (I was very upset at this point). He started to tear up and say he didn't WANT to go back to school, and I asked why and he said he was bored there. BIG FRUSTRATED SIGH!

So now I am looking into ABEKA curriculum, both the books, and the dvd (ABEKA Academy) curriculum, which is the same, except the dvd's teach him instead of me. Leaning toward the DVDs because I think the TV aspect might keep his interest longer. Plus, we have already spent about 100 bucks on books, dictionary, thesauraus, workbooks, etc. and this would be between 450- 975 more dollars, and I cut my hours at work so I wasn't too tired to teach him. IF we end up with the DVD curriculum, I could feasibly work an overnight a week to pay for it, and then while I slept til late morning, he could start watching the dvds.

Does anyone have any input on the ABEKA academy? They say its the same books and everything as regular abeka. I have 30 days to return it if it doesn't work for us.

Advice, prayers, suggestions, etc., would be really appreciated. We are giving it two weeks once we decide on and receive the curriculum, so that if he has to go back to public school, he won't be going in too far into it. We're not worried about him being behind, just disadvantaged because of the time lapse.

sigh.
I hope today was the last of the arguments.

[NewWorldOrder]

Take a very big deep breath, and let it out slowly. :hug

It's only been five days. I know from experience that the first year of homeschooling is the hardest of all years. You are trying to do it all, you're excited but your child couldn't care less, you have expectations set so high and you go in thinking this is going to be a breeze, then realize that it's a lot of hard work, and yes there is yelling. :doh I completely understand your frustration, and it's normal.

First, just by going by what you said, I think you are doing too much busy work. How old is your son? I want to say elementary age, but I'm not sure. You don't need to do a lot of workbook pages, and when you do you don't have to do all the exercises on the page. In fact you can teach the first two or three lessons, only do the practice problems for those lessons, and then do all the problems or exercises on the last lesson taught. I usually recommend for first time homeschoolers, to do with a pre-packaged curriculum their first year, just till they get the hang of it; that way you can see what works and doesn't work for you. Abeka is a pretty good curriculum, but they are expensive. You can buy their materials used, and spend much, much less than you would new. You can also mix and match curriculum. Abeka has a terrific Grammar program, but I can't stand their math. Apologia is an awesome science program, and that's all they do. They are Christ oriented and base their science books around Creation. They are also not grade level based, but skill based.

The book, "What your (enter grade) needs to know" can be intimidating. If you stick with grade level materials then he's learning what he needs to know. You'll also learn if he's ready for that grade level material, or needs to move up a level. He may not be ready for 4th grade grammar, and should be doing 3rd grammar, but he's really good at math and does great at 4th grade or even 5th grade math.

I highly suggest that you slowwwww down. Don't try to do too much too soon. Ease into it. In fact, it may be a good idea to take a few days off, and use that time to go on a field trip, or go to the library and let your son pick out books to read for fun, and for learning. Use books from the library to learn history, just by reading about what happened. There are history guides out there that help with that, if you think you need a guide.

Please don't give up, and don't give in. Remember, homeschool isn't "school". You're doing this to provide something for your son that "school" couldn't, so it's ok to do things differently.

:hug Hang in there sis. Let me, or the rest of us know, when you need anything.

[scrappergirl]

NWO,
I feel like if he's not working for at least a couple hours a day, he's not getting a decent education. I mean, I KNOW there is a lot of dead time in school, classes passing, getting books, putting books away, going to lunch, bathroom passes, etc. Waiting for the teacher to explain things for the 100th time to the slower kids in class...etc.etc.

He is in 4th grade. I have been doing about 3 worksheets for math and language arts per day. Planned on three chapters of Cricket in Times Square, half the vocab words one day, half another, then sentences using ten another day. We haven't even STARTED science, social studies or geography.

I wonder if I can pick and choose from the DVD program for ABEKA so I can use the Apologia science instead....
THey are having a fair type thing on Tuesday. I am planning to go with him to that and look at the curriculum WITH him, so that he has a say in it. Perhaps that will make him more willing to cooperate.
And we are planning to do some hands on stuff and field trip stuff, too...Just can't do that every DAY, yaknow? And I don't want him sitting playing gamecube and watching tv for the rest of the hours that his siblings are in school, either....
so really not sure what to do with him at this point..?

[NewWorldOrder]

NWO,
I feel like if he's not working for at least a couple hours a day, he's not getting a decent education. I mean, I KNOW there is a lot of dead time in school, classes passing, getting books, putting books away, going to lunch, bathroom passes, etc. Waiting for the teacher to explain things for the 100th time to the slower kids in class...etc.etc.

He is in 4th grade. I have been doing about 3 worksheets for math and language arts per day. Planned on three chapters of Cricket in Times Square, half the vocab words one day, half another, then sentences using ten another day. We haven't even STARTED science, social studies or geography.

I wonder if I can pick and choose from the DVD program for ABEKA so I can use the Apologia science instead....
THey are having a fair type thing on Tuesday. I am planning to go with him to that and look at the curriculum WITH him, so that he has a say in it. Perhaps that will make him more willing to cooperate.
And we are planning to do some hands on stuff and field trip stuff, too...Just can't do that every DAY, yaknow? And I don't want him sitting playing gamecube and watching tv for the rest of the hours that his siblings are in school, either....
so really not sure what to do with him at this point..?


I don't know if you can pick or choose, you would have to contact Abeka and just ask them. I think you can, but I'm not certain.

My youngest daughter is also in 4th grade, and she is using Considering God's Creation for science. It's a great program, and is geared for 2nd through 4th graders. It's very easy to use, and it's not real expensive.

School shouldn't take 8 hours to do, unless there's a reason for it. You can finish in just a couple of hour, and if he finishes let him go outside and play instead of play Gamecube. The idea that he has to spend lots of time working or he isn't getting an education is what's been force fed to us because we're used to the way public schools do it. At this age, I wouldn't worry too much about vocabulary and spelling, you can actually combine them. Make his vocabulary words his spelling words, and then add words he has trouble spelling, and take them off when he knows how to spell them.

You can also combine your history with your geography. You don't need to do them separately, or don't do geography at all. Geography is usually touched on in history anyway. There's several things you can do, just keep it slow at first, even if you only do school 3 days a week.

[NewWorldOrder]

Oh, another you can try doing is doing certain subjects on certain days.

For example, on Monday and Wednesday do math, grammar, and science.

On Tuesday and Thursday do history, spelling, and handwriting; then on Friday work on what he hasn't finished or needs more help with, or use that day to do something fun, or whatever you want to do.

[Cookies4me]

Don't give up to easy. I wanted to quit every day for the first year :lol2 Ok not every day.
You are both learing each other. That takes time. He may fight you on things because it's what he "use" to do at "school". But, there are many things that a child must do to learn.
Abeka is agreat program for anyone who loves to learn and do lots of paper work. I used it to start off with then broke away after three years and found my own programs.
I almost did the abeka program several times then figured out it was just like "school" for my kids.
I would try adding a history or science program where he can read and learn to his hearts content. History in the form of stories works great for my kids. I just say have fun reading and let me know what you have learned. :thumb
Aplogia has great science books for your sons age. All self paced learning. You can even make a lapbook out of it. :thumb

Have no fear you can make it though this. It just takes time. :hug

[bookworm1711]

Dear Scrappergirl,

When you home school, you'll find your child will learn much more and much faster than he would in public school because you can teach him one on one. There won't be the distraction of twenty or thirty other students in the classroom.

Don't try to match the "clock hours" used in the public school system. Trying to do so will overtax you, and might discourage your child.

Twenty years ago I served as the editor at Mott Media. My friend George Mott was very interested in developing the Classic Curriculum. He published the original McGuffey Readers. He published the original Ray's Arithmetic series. He had other materials available too. I was the final editor for the McGuffey Readers. It was an interesting experience for me.

When I home schooled my own two children, I used the Let's Read book by Leonard Bloomfield and Clarence Barnhart to start them off. I had lots of other children's books I used with them too.

I spent a great deal of time reading to my children. They loved to sit with me and hear the stories.

It wasn't long before they got so interested that they would take the book and read the rest to themselves!

I used an approach I developed myself which I call "Reading Ladders" and "Writing Ladders." The concept is very simple. Simply start with easy material and progress, in sequence, to material that is more difficult.

For writing, I devised a sequence of writing assignments and topics in order from simple to complex, and had enough topics so my student(s) could choose the topic that most interested them.

When my oldest boy met with the Mott children, one of Mr. Mott's boys was interested in rock collecting. He gave my son a quite sophisticated handbook on rocks. I took my son to the local library and got three books about rocks. I had my son read the three books in the order of their difficulty. He learned enough from the easy book to understand the medium book; he learned enough from the medium book to understand the hardest book. By this point he could read the handbook his friend had given him with ease, and understand it well.

So, find out what interests your child. Go to the library and find, or let him find, books on the subject. Have your child read the books in their order of difficulty. You can tell by the size of print, proportion of pictures to words, and length of the book, what the comparative difficulty is likely to be. Of course, you can read a sample yourself and determine the relative difficulty that way. Find the child's interest, and strike while the iron is hot!

This approach is not grade level centered, but interest level centered. If you follow this procedure, your child will easily advance to grade levels somewhat above his age-related grade level. That is what you want. In home school, you don't want to hold your child back, but intrinsically motivate your child to advance as far as the child's interests permit.

It is fine to use a commercially prepared program, but I hope what you choose will not occupy the child's time to the point that schooling at home loses its fun.

Attending home school fairs and conferences locally will help you discover materials of interest.

[scrappergirl]

I don't want it to take 8 hours, either. I don't have that kind of time or patience--lol!

Legally, i *have* to do geography (and reading, spelling, grammar, social studies, geography, american history, civics, including state and local government, mathematics...science is optional (although I intend to do it).

i was considering doing certain things on certain days, as well.

re: vocab/spelling...he likes to spell. In school he consistently got 100's and 105's on his spelling tests. We play a game in the car where I say a word and then the kids have to spell it, and if they miss, I 'buzz' them and the next kid gets to try. I have put some very sophisticated and difficult words in there. They love it.

He told me that he wants to be an 'imagineer' when he grows up. basically, he wants to work for disney or some such place and design roller coasters...i told him that he had to get a degree in engineering for that, so he better really buckle down with math and science. lol. (both subjects are not my strong points! figures!).

I am going to go to the ABEKA thing with him and see what he thinks about the dvd program...until then, we'll try to keep plugging along with what we're doing, maybe I can find some stuff online that's decent and free (i know there are math things that can be done on line, and he likes to use the computer, so....).

i will also look into that science curriculum.

if you get a chance, pls pray tomorrow will be better than today.

thanks everyone.
=)

[BlessedAssurance]

Hi. I'm not a home school mom, but I do teach high school.

I think you're overwhelming him with worksheets. I don't know what you're required to show the state, but asking a 4th grade boy to sit and do worksheets is deadly!

If you're just seeing what he can do, make him get up. Go outside on the sidewalk and have him do his math with chalk. We actually have a chalkboard wall in the kitchen, so I'd use that. Ask him a problem and make him jump or twirl, or bounce a ball as many times as the answer is.

If he loves roller coasters, aren't there computer programs that teach about how they work? Could you do a unit about them? History of them, geography of where the wooden coasters are, rate problems, converting to meters per hour, discussion of different forces?

You have so much freedom to teach him in a new way. You guys should be outside now in the good (I hope for you, anyway) weather. How about a nature journal where he draws what he sees, describes it, looks it up in a field guide, writes about it, creates poems.


I'm sorry if I'm way off base. I just think if your child is such a talented speller that it's fun for you guys in the car, then he shouldn't have to do boring repetitive stuff. Just throw out the words, and if he can spell them, let it go. If he hates writing the sentences down, let him help you make index cards of random words. Then he can compose sentences using the random words and his vocab words.

Not everything has to be written down. You can keep a portfolio of things he's done if you need state proof. But, golly, going to the grocery store to do math, how much better is that? Give him the coupons, make him figure the prices, make him read the labels and find the best deals. Tell him how much you expect to spend. If he can come up with better pricing, maybe he could use the saved toward a trip to an amusement park?

Again, if this is not useful, please let me know, and I'll never reply again. As I said, I've never home schooled, but I hate worksheets. I try never to give them to my students. So I have LOTS of sympathy for him!:lol2

[lisaann]

:hug

It sounds like your overwhelming yourself and your son. Elementary aged boys do not want to sit and do worksheets all day. It sounds like your just copying the ways of "school" in your own home. Haven't you decided that the way "school" does it wasn't working for you? Then why are you trying to copy their ways at home? :idunno

You do need to toe the line as far as what the state requires you to show them.....other than that you do it however it suits him and you. :thumb I know when my ds was in 4th we would review his multiplication facts using this: http://bigbrainz.com/ Or I would put the answers to his problems on 3x5 cards and then scatter them all over the floor; I would ask him the problem and he would hop on the answer.

You really need to figure out what his learning style is first because that will guide you to what is the best fit for him with school work styles. Here is a website that might help you get started in this: http://homeschooling.gomilpitas.com/weblinks/assets.htm For example my ds (5th grade this year) HATES to write or sit at the desk so I give him only the minimum of desk work to do a day. Things like vocabulary are taken care of in our daily conversation. I actually think he learns the meanings better that way because they are words that are applied to real life in a natural conversation. He doesn't see it as "school" at all, he just sees it as learning more about the world around him.

You might definitely want to get some curriculum that is already set up for you but just use it as a guide. If it has a ton of worksheets to do and your ds HATES worksheets then just ask him the questions orally or make a game out of it. The point is for him to know the information.....not see how many worksheets he can fill out in a day. Personally I don't like worksheets because it just makes him learn to spit out those exact answers instead of training him in critical thinking and learning the subject as a whole.

Story of the World is an excellent history program. :thumb It brings history across in a story format that is engaging and interesting to the children. Much better than just learning dry facts that they memorize to spit out on a test then promptly forget.

Just take a deep breath and relax. :nod You lose a young child's attention very quickly so doing "hours" of work a day is counter productive and frustrating. You need to get out of "school" mode and get into the idea that learning is now a lifestyle and fun!.