My Goodness Where is My Luck?

[ButterflyWay]

I don't know if this has ever been posted but I tell you, I've been getting so depressed it seems the last few years. I'm in my early 30's, and still single, with no children. I keep praying for a good Godly man to come my way, but the ones that seem interested in me are the WRONG kind--you know the possessive type or ungodly kind. I'm just so worried that when it happens I'm going to be too old to have children, which breaks my heart, because I really want children. I disappoint myself when I say I envy someone but I do. I see some of these wonderful couples at my church, loving one another, holding hands...It gets me more bc I'm the only 30 something in my church who is not married. I'm just venting...I apologize. Keep me in your prayers.

[Barachem]

I'm a 31 year old man who gave up on meeting the right woman.
If God giveth, i will meet the right one, otherwise i'm fine being a free single.
Don't despair ButterflyWay, i'm sure God WILL give you the right man in His right time if you earnestly ask Him it, or He might even change you not to desire a husband.
Just like He changed my desire for a wife into disinterest for women as partners.
Anyway, God bless you.

[Lisababy]

hi sweetie, don't fret. I know, easier said than done right? I too am approaching the 30 year mark and have never been married either. I have two small children from before i was saved and unfortunately that does make it even harder to find a good man who wants to be a part of our family. I haven't been on a date in over a year. I gave it up to God and told him that it was in his hands and if He decided that there was no man for me at this time in my life then it was ok. I am still very lonely and get "jealous" when i see happy couples and I still ask God "why not me?" sometimes. Someone once sent me this email that i thought summed it up. I have it posted on my desk at work and i read it every day to remind me why I'm waiting:

Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone, To have a deep soul relationship with another, to be love thoroughly and exclusively, But God to the christian says:

"No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled, and content with giving yourself totally and unreservedly to Me. With having an intensely personal and unique relationship with Me alone, discovering that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found, will you be capable of the perfect relationship that I have planned for you.

You will never be united with another until you are united with me, exclusive of any other desires or longings.

I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan existing. One that you cannot imagine. I want you to have the best.

Please allow me to give it to you. You just keep watching Me, expecting the greatest things; Keep experiencing the satisfaction that I AM; Keep listing and learning the things that I will tell you.

Keep seeking after Me, KNOW ME, You just wait on Me, do not be anxious, do n ot worry, and do not look at the things YOU want; You just keep looking unto Me or you will miss what I want to show you.

The one I have created for you is not ready quite yet (I am working even at this moment to have both of you ready at the same time). Until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me and the life that I have prepared for you, you will not be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me. This is Perfect Love.

My child, I want you to have this most wonderful love. I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me, and to enjoy materially and concretely, the everlasting union of beauty, perfectness, oneness, and the love that I off you with Myself.

Know that I love you utterly, I am God."

Believe and be satisfied
Perfect Love is SO worth waiting for.

[ButterflyWay]

Thank you so much. I had to copy that down and print it out. I've prayed to have a family one day, but I know it's in God's timing. I'm keeping my faith in Him. Only He knows what's best for me. Thanks for the replies!

[Rinji]

This is just my observation, as a married early-twenty-something.

I constantly hear the mantra,' don't get married when you're young! live a little!' from people in their 30's. They tell me a wasted my life, not even knowing me, or my husband.

Then later they turn 40 and wonder where all the singles went. What's even worse is, that entire time they weren't looking for someone. Maybe it's because all the 20-30 somethings saw opportunity and already found their spouse?

The bright side is you still got time!
You're not one of those people who wants to party until everyone else is hitched. That's where you have the Ace in the hole.

Have you considered going church hopping? You might be able to find some available Christian men that way. Maybe you could get a friend to go with you for fun?


I remember when my dad was looking for a Christian girlfriend after the divorce. Some of those women had much too low cut shirts for such a site. Bleh!
But he did find someone. In fact, she lived in the same town, just went to a different church.

[Barachem]

All nice and well, Rinji, but it seems to me that you're trying to make part of us singles feel guilty for not pursuing a partner.
I'm not a party-goer, not someone who lavishes the carefree side of life.
Several reasons i have given up on women in general is that i have been treated quite badly by them, i have seen what bad partnerships and marriages can inflict on people, coming both from unsuited men and women and because i do not want to waste effort, time and money on relationships that are insecure.
But if the Lord giveth, i'm happy to marry eventually with a woman He picked out especially for me and me for her.

So Rinji, i find your statement that 30+ singles are happy-go-lucky and that one has to find a relationship with someone before that age range in order to go with the flow, quite offensive and abrasive.

[Rinji]

Sorry if I offended anyone, it was late at night, and maybe I worded it poorly.

The people I was referring to in my post are the drunks, drug using, partying, having sex out of wed lock type of people who lead a sinful life. I never meant to say anything about anyone else.
Besides, would the happy go lucky saved portion of the population really tell me that I wasted my life? It just doesn't make sense. It's the other group of people I work with frequently and tell me such awful things. All I have to do is say my age, and that I'm married and they instantly tell me this stuff.

In context, the unsaved partying group, spent their time having fun, and are suddenly slammed at 40 or so with the urge to marry because all they seem to have going for them is their youth and looks, which is beginning to wane (thus the panic to get married!).
Then they complain to me. Not that they must be married before 40, but seeing their situation, it's preferable to get married asap, as there seems to be more shallow people in the world than we'd like to think available.

On the other hand, our friend here is NOT one of those people.
What I was really trying to say is she has much more going for her. She's waiting for the right person.
Heck, my dad (who was about 45 at the time), found someone. But did he pick the first thing resembling a christian that came into sight? Nope, he waited it out. That would contradict the notion that people can't find anyone after 40. If he didn't find anyone, he was just going to remain single.

I suppose it was kinda a vent and and an inspirational post gone horribly, horribly wrong.
I'm apologize if I hurt anyone's feelings.

[Barachem]

LOL, the way you put it initally...

Me thinks that most singles here on RR don't be partying, drugging and whatever.
Me also thinks most singles here are even more concerned about getting a partner than the party crowd.
Me is an exception to the party crowd as well as the singles searching for a partner.

Anyway, apology accepted and God bless you.