Marriage by Faith? Hmm..

[Not Perfect, But Forgiven]

Hey everyone. I was wondering about something that just popped into my head as I was reading the Old Testament.

Back in those times, righteous men had more than 1 female partner sometimes. Abraham had Issac with Sarah, and he also concieved Ishmael with Hagar. Jacob concieved with a couple of women. Jesus said that is adultery.

My confusion is that there is no mention of marriage ceremonies with any of these women. Most times, it simply says "took her to wife," or "gave her as wife." Does this imply a ceremony? Or, is it a vow taken between the couple that consecrates it? Jesus said "whatever you bind on Earth is bound in Heaven." Did God simply recognize the extra woman as a "wife" and not punish the man for adultery because the two were believers? Based on the scriptures, it appears that whomever the man slept with was viewed as a "wife" if he agreed she was. I think I'm wrong though.

The questions that came to my head is:

1) Why weren't those men punished for adultery?
2) Is there scriptural support for marriage without a ceremony, but based on faith alone? For example: a couple hasn't had a ceremony but agree they are husband and wife.

To me this is confusing. Any help is highly appreciated!:hug

[Hootmon]

As far as Abraham and Jacob are concerned, the Law had not yet been given.

[Miss Molly]

I’m glad you asked these questions as I had a hard time justifying God’s attitude toward marital circumstances in Genesis too. Even though the law had not yet been given to the Jews, it still bothered me for some reason.

After much prayer and much research I finally realized the simple answer. God did not approve of adultery; he simply used man’s sins to accomplish his will. When Adam and Eve let God know they didn’t need him, God’s answer was “Ok, go ahead and do things your way and we’ll see who is right”. It’s kind of like when a two year old insists on doing things his way. Ideally, you’d let him go ahead and try since the best way to teach is to allow the student to fail. Remember, God gave us free will and just because we choose the wrong thing does not mean God will change his ultimate plans. He just used -and still uses – man’s sins to accomplish his will. Thy will be done!

We know God is the same – always – so we know what he thought and still thinks of adultery. The law has always been there it just wasn’t properly understood. Abraham’s mistake was deciding to make God’s promise happen without God. He decided Sarah was too old so he and Sarah thought they needed to enlist Hagar’s help. Instead of waiting on God, he put himself in control, a problem we all have at times. Hagar gives birth to Ishmael who becomes the ancestor of many Arab peoples and one of the fathers of the Islamic religion. I’d say the Jews have been punished for Abraham’s arrogance when he decided to take control, wouldn’t you?

As for the marriage ceremony question, I’m not aware of any commands to hold one. However, we are told to obey the laws of the land so a marriage between two people should be legal. We also should look at the witness we give to others when we ignore those laws or when we do not live what our culture considers to be the moral high road. A marriage ceremony can be the most basic society has to offer but it serves as a formal announcement to all that you and your spouse are committed. Since marriage is often used in the Bible to explain the Christian’s relationship with Jesus, the way you handle your marriage becomes an important witness to others.

[fracturedInfinity]

I’m glad you asked these questions as I had a hard time justifying God’s attitude toward marital circumstances in Genesis too. Even though the law had not yet been given to the Jews, it still bothered me for some reason.

After much prayer and much research I finally realized the simple answer. God did not approve of adultery; he simply used man’s sins to accomplish his will. When Adam and Eve let God know they didn’t need him, God’s answer was “Ok, go ahead and do things your way and we’ll see who is right”. It’s kind of like when a two year old insists on doing things his way. Ideally, you’d let him go ahead and try since the best way to teach is to allow the student to fail. Remember, God gave us free will and just because we choose the wrong thing does not mean God will change his ultimate plans. He just used -and still uses – man’s sins to accomplish his will. Thy will be done!

We know God is the same – always – so we know what he thought and still thinks of adultery. The law has always been there it just wasn’t properly understood. Abraham’s mistake was deciding to make God’s promise happen without God. He decided Sarah was too old so he and Sarah thought they needed to enlist Hagar’s help. Instead of waiting on God, he put himself in control, a problem we all have at times. Hagar gives birth to Ishmael who becomes the ancestor of many Arab peoples and one of the fathers of the Islamic religion. I’d say the Jews have been punished for Abraham’s arrogance when he decided to take control, wouldn’t you?

As for the marriage ceremony question, I’m not aware of any commands to hold one. However, we are told to obey the laws of the land so a marriage between two people should be legal. We also should look at the witness we give to others when we ignore those laws or when we do not live what our culture considers to be the moral high road. A marriage ceremony can be the most basic society has to offer but it serves as a formal announcement to all that you and your spouse are committed. Since marriage is often used in the Bible to explain the Christian’s relationship with Jesus, the way you handle your marriage becomes an important witness to others.

:thumb I think you pretty much nailed it. Thanks Miss Molly!

[Not Perfect, But Forgiven]

I’m glad you asked these questions as I had a hard time justifying God’s attitude toward marital circumstances in Genesis too. Even though the law had not yet been given to the Jews, it still bothered me for some reason.

After much prayer and much research I finally realized the simple answer. God did not approve of adultery; he simply used man’s sins to accomplish his will. When Adam and Eve let God know they didn’t need him, God’s answer was “Ok, go ahead and do things your way and we’ll see who is right”. It’s kind of like when a two year old insists on doing things his way. Ideally, you’d let him go ahead and try since the best way to teach is to allow the student to fail. Remember, God gave us free will and just because we choose the wrong thing does not mean God will change his ultimate plans. He just used -and still uses – man’s sins to accomplish his will. Thy will be done!

We know God is the same – always – so we know what he thought and still thinks of adultery. The law has always been there it just wasn’t properly understood. Abraham’s mistake was deciding to make God’s promise happen without God. He decided Sarah was too old so he and Sarah thought they needed to enlist Hagar’s help. Instead of waiting on God, he put himself in control, a problem we all have at times. Hagar gives birth to Ishmael who becomes the ancestor of many Arab peoples and one of the fathers of the Islamic religion. I’d say the Jews have been punished for Abraham’s arrogance when he decided to take control, wouldn’t you?

As for the marriage ceremony question, I’m not aware of any commands to hold one. However, we are told to obey the laws of the land so a marriage between two people should be legal. We also should look at the witness we give to others when we ignore those laws or when we do not live what our culture considers to be the moral high road. A marriage ceremony can be the most basic society has to offer but it serves as a formal announcement to all that you and your spouse are committed. Since marriage is often used in the Bible to explain the Christian’s relationship with Jesus, the way you handle your marriage becomes an important witness to others.


I see....so just as a relationship with Christ is announced and displayed, such is the case with marriage. Basically what I learned from you is that God can take the steps of people and use them to show how they erred. Even the best intentions of the righteous can go awry. "Man makes plans but God directs his steps." I appreciate you trying your best on the ceremony question, and your answer to my question about adultery was very thorough. Thank you very much.

I wonder if there is a Hebrew scripture or a translated scripture that calls for a ceremony to be held in order for a marriage to be recognized; are certificates necessary for a biblical marriage, or is it just another case of humankind doing it's own thing? I know God views marriage as a union between a man and a woman. I also know that God is sovereign, so His view is the one that counts. I wonder how He views what makes a marriage? How does God decide: "These two people are married." Any ideas??

[Miss Molly]

Remember, God has a plan and while we are part of that plan we do not direct the plan. He gives us basic guidelines to live by and when we mess up he allows us to suffer the consequences. So, in that way you might say he directs our steps.

The only way you will truly learn from those mistakes is to view them from God’s purpose. Since we all are inheritors of the consequences of Adam’s sin and we all tend to want to be like God we continually put ourselves in control. It’s a tough thing to let go of your own understanding and try to figure out what God wants! That’s one reason we have the Bible…it teaches us.

“All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness,…” (2Tim 3:16)

The marriage ceremony is a civil or man-made rite; the marriage is ordained by God. In chapter 19 of Matthew, Jesus addressed a question the Pharisees asked about divorce. Jesus wasted no time reminding them of what God’s view of marriage is. He went all the way back to the beginning in Genesis and quoted:

"So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate."

God takes marriage seriously and we should too. I would say that God views a marriage as taking place when the two are “joined together”. As Christians, we are to obey the laws of the land we live in. So, we are duty-bound to make that marriage a civil marriage.

[Miss Molly]

:thumb I think you pretty much nailed it. Thanks Miss Molly!

Thanks, fracturedInfinity. Every once in a while this ol' brain of mine actually works!:lol2

[Sing4Him]

:thumb great response.. thanks Molly.

http://www.biblebb.com/files/macqa/1301-6.htm

[Miss Molly]

:hat Thanks Sing4Him!

[Obadiah]

Miss Molly:

You've made a couple of assertions for which I request you provide Scriptural evidence:

1. That Abraham sinned when he conceived Ishmael with Hagar.

2. That polygamy equals adultery.

(my summations, not your exact words, but fair, I think)