My son is special needs and public school is losing him.

[Brookejayde]

My son came home from his residential treatment facility a week ago friday. He's ADHD, autistic spectrum, Bipolar, oppositional defiance disorder, and a few other coinciding diagnosis. He's working at his current grade levels or above and have an above average IQ according to the latest IQ test given just a few weeks ago which special accomodations were given to him for the autistic problems. Regular IQ tests with no accomodations still have him in the high average range as well.

My problem? His rage needs him one on one taught and taught in a different way than most kids. He gets frustrated way easily if he has to do anything on paper but give him the same problem to do say on a chalk board or computer and he can give you 20 different ways to get to the answer if it's possible. He doesn't always understand how the answer comes out but he does get the correct answer.

This child can read excellent. He reads 4 chapters of a regular NIV Bible a night himself. Not a children's version either. He's able to calculate our grocery bill in his head while going through the store with the exception of what's taxable and what's not, he can figure out basic algebra in his head as well. He's 8 years old and technically in 3rd grade.

He entered our public school system here on Tuesday this past week. He came home Friday bauling for an hour hiding in his closet that he refuses to go back and will not go back under any circumstances.He finally calmed down enough to show me his papers for the week. Keep in mind, 3rd grader who repeatedly tests at or above his grade with accomodations. They had him cutting and coloring pictures and pasting them to construction paper, TRACING vowels and circling them in a word search type puzzle and basic single number addition, like 2 + 1 = ?:faint He told me he was bauling over this work because he knows he's better than that and he was ashamed.

Do you all think it's possible to homeschool a child with these problems? I do but I'm wondering what kind of problems I may have with trying to meet his accomodations? Obviously the school district here is just shoving him in a classroom and forgetting him. My son HAS asked if he could do cyber school as well. What do y'all think of that? I am a SAHM as it is however I'm deaf so working with him on speech is almost impossible. We've heard horror stories from different parents in this district that their special needs children were just placed in classrooms and when tests come along, the teachers write the answers on the boards and the students copy them. Well, it's obviously what it looks like to me for now.

One other thing, guess I should also mention he's not even in a 3rd grade classroom. He's in a 4th grade room with outright mentally retarded children who are learning more at the life skills aspect than the academic aspect.

Any and all input is appreciated. I thank you for your time.:hug

[Ava]

First :hug

I think it is absolutely possible to homeschool your son despite all of these obstacles. I do not have experience with all of these diagnoses, but I have witnessed such dramatic changes in some of the children in my homeschool group who were being lobbed with all kinds of "disorders" in their respective school systems.

If you take your son out of there I would definitely de-school. Don't do school. Let him rest. Find a support group in your area and online. There is so much information out there in cyber space. Look at his diet. So many chemicals and preservatives etc; can really affect a persons behavior, especially a child's. Gluten, which is just about in everything can really cause problems. Sometimes the institution itself is a huge cause.

These are only suggestions but, I think that once you begin researching for yourself and communicating with people who have taken their children out of a system that is a one size fits all, you will gain the confidence you need to help your son get himself back.

I hope this helps, if only just a little bit.

[Itiswell]

Research autism and find a doc who can help with a holistic approach.

A very close friend of ours has an autistic child, but you would never know it today. He seems like a bright, active 5 year old, but that is after two years of very intense therapy with a doc who has a naturopathic bend. She went through chelation therapy, hyperbaric chamber therapy, and nutrition therapy (gluten free, lactose free) - all out of pocket expenses for a family of 6 with a SAHM. But boy, was it worth it. Their ds went from severely autistic to happy and relating to everyone, able to read and write and perform math above grade level.

There is hope if you are willing to invest a lot of time and effort.

[MidnightCry]

Definite HUGS to you, Brookejayde . . .

Our third daughter is also special needs. Adopted from foster care, exposed to every drug in-utero and addicted to meth at birth. Almost worse than that was that she was neglected in foster care for the first 21 months of her life. I SO look forward to the day when we'll see Jesus restore her little body and mind, as with your precious son.

Okay . . . so at least you're willing to homeschool him and that's probably the biggest obstacle! Good job, Mom! You're right -- the public schools are not equipped to handle so many special needs kids as they have these days and meet their individual needs with love and respect.

I know Bob Jones University as well as Abeka (and others, I would guess) offer online school -- might be called satellite school or something like that. Wait -- Abeka might be something different. Anyway, look into both of those. Friends of ours with 6 kids are doing BJU and their kids enjoy it. We use some BJU book curriculum and it is solid academically and enjoyable for the kids.

Get him reading historical fiction! Heck, get him reading whatever he will read (within reason). There are awesome series for boys out there (but you have to be careful of content). I'll send ideas for some, if you need. I have all girls but am always passing along book ideas to moms of boys.

As long as his behavior at home, with you (and siblings?) is honoring, respectful and obedient, you shouldn't have any problem. The rewards will be lifelong for all of you.

God bless!
:hug

[lisaann]

I agree with the holistic approach. :nod

Dianne Craft was at our homeschool fair this past year as a lecturer. Man, did she ever give hope to parents!

You might find this CD set of hers worthwhile. It's called The Biology of Behavior. I have it and got alot of interesting help for my kids "learning gate" problems.This is from her web page:"Dianne Craft has a masters degree in special Education and is a Certified Natural Health Professional."
http://stores.diannecraft.org/Detail.bok?no=2

[Cookies4me]

http://www.hslda.org/strugglinglearner/

This website may help you a bit.

The first obstacle in homeschooling is just making the decision. If this is what God wants you to do things will start happening.

As others have said there are many programs out there you just have to find out what would work with both your disabilities.

www.avcsbooks.com may help too.

[MidnightCry]

On the holistic approach . . . we took our daughter to a naturopath for a while. She took some stuff to "detox" her system and we saw little or no change so we didn't continue with further treatment, whatever it may have been. We DID, however, have a huge bill to pay. So, while I would definitely suggest trying natural remedies -- and there ARE a lot of successes out there, especially with ADD, ADHD, and autism -- if you can afford it . . . be ready to try a lot of things (and fail) before you find what works for him.

[Biblenuggetlady]

On the other side of the coin...

I owe a lot to the teachers and others in the school system who have helped my autistic son. There is help for him if you know how to get it. First, you need to ask for an IEP evaluation from the school, take your medical records that show his diagnosis. The state MUST supply your son with help. Don't throw the baby out with the bath water, it sounds like your son needs professional help in the school system, he doesn't have to be "shoved in a regular class and lost". Contact the Regional Center in your area, they will assess him and help him also, and it is no charge.

[Brookejayde]

Thanks everyone. I just got bback from the school this morning. Ironically no one is available to talk to me about this matter until Wednesday. My son already has an IEP in place but the teacher isn't following it. When I did speak with her this morning, she told me she didnt even receive anything from the district office to know what she is supposed to be doing with him. :ohno I THINK she, at least, understands that last week isnt acceptable but whether the district will let her teach him? Who knows. She Told me flat out that she is not equipped to handle children one on one in her classroom and the district generally wont make concessions of an aide. They wont rather see a child get a TSS.

Guess I'm stuck waiting until wednesday now to talk to the people in charge. This is soooooo frustrating.

BTW, my son is already on a gluten free diet and it did make a huge difference. once we did that, his math abilities and self-awareness just popped out to the point we thought we had a new child, lol. We've been dealing with these problems since he was a baby, it's nothing new over all, just a new school district and to be quite blunt about it, we've never met with since resistance to getting him the help he needs.

[CircleSlide]

:hug

I have a son who has many medical conditions, autistic, mood disorder, anxiety disorder, adhd, short term memory loss, separation anxiety. He is 12. I know I am forgetting some of them.

I can only speak what I experienced.


We homeschooled him and tired public school, and private schools. As of right now he is in public school and doing well.

I homeschooled him for 3 years. We tried public school in the 3rd grade but he screamed and cried for 8+ hours and it became torture for him and we had to pull him out. Then in the 5th grade we found a private christian school that would take him after I discussed everything with the principal and got all this stuff in place, she ended up leaving. After he was there 2 months they kicked him out not because of behavior but because of learning problems. I just couldn't homeschool him again, he became so much of a problem, my other kids and I needed to get away. He needed to get away from me; to learn he can do things without me.

We contacted our public school, the same one that he refused to ever go back to. *gulp* But this time we were armed, we came with a child advocate. Child advocates make sure that your child gets the help they need, our local school kept wanting to keep him at grade level (he is below grade level in many but on grade level for some), they kept telling us what he needed (which was what worked best for them). She came in and apparently had some sort of power, believe it or not. My son got everything I asked for and needed. Our advocate did not say more than two sentences but, she did taped the meeting, and used her lap top to clarify she means business for our son. She had warned us before hand that this school was one of the worst she had delt with for autistic children, she knew her stuff, but was very respectful, professional and unemotional (unlike me who has to many emotions attached to the meeting).

That is the biggest advice I could give to some one who putting their special needs child into public school. A child advocate! We asked around and found this organization that was non-for profit, it ended up being a free service. Which amazed me. I remember her talking to me the first time going over our story, she was a real blessing to our family.