What in the World!!?

[I Believe!!!]

Ladies, I need your perspective. I've been asked to table lead for a christian mom's group that is an outreach to draw other non-christian women in (and hopefully get them to accept Christ) and am really excited about doing this. I really enjoy people, listening and helping where I can.

This last weekend we had a really nice retreat for all the table leaders (about 20 gals) and we played Bunco, which I'd never played before. We played 20 rounds and I couldn't believe that I had won 17 of the rounds. There was a prize given out for the most won and it was a beautiful vase.

One of the ladies kept commenting in a joking manner how she never wins anything, but I didn't realize that she was really upset until today. Today we all met again for a bible study for the table leaders and the first thing she said to me (out of the blue and in front of everyone) was, "I'm still mad at you for winning the Bunco game!). I was like, whaaaaaaaaat? :shocked :twitch It was then I remembered that in the course of the events during the retreat on the weekend I caught her looking at me a couple of times not looking very happy. I thought maybe she was just sad about something, but now I realize she was very unhappy about me.

The thing is I really like this gal, she's got an uncanny sense of humor and just enjoyed her personality and who she is. I'm afraid that this gal is jealous of me, of how I look (yes, I'm one of those thin people...sorry, I can't help it!)and perhaps how I present myself. I could see it very clearly in her face and I'm just kind of in a quandary of how to deal with this.

I was so taken aback and unprepaired by her comment that I kind of said a stupid thing. I said, "Well just because you didn't win doesn't make you less of a person, you're a great gal." Of course, that was the worst thing I could of said and her face immediately darkened and she said, " I don't need a self esteem check...I'm just upset." :faint Then I said, "I'm sorry that the game upset you." and it just seemed there really wasn't anything I could say to alleviate her feelings.:ohno


I didn't mean to sound condescending at all and desperately wanted to make her feel better about herself. I'm thinking about calling her privately, but I suspect that if I say or do anthing more (like give her the winning gift or another gift) it will only make things worse.

On the other had I'm thinking maybe I should just stay quiet and pray about it.

I'm upset because this seemed to just take the wind out of my sails as far as table leading and feel like I need to stay under the radar or something for fear of making this gal even more jealous. All of the sudden I feel inhibited :scratch

[BubbleBuster]

A number of spiritual dynamics could be taking place here. I will make reference to scriptures but I simply cannot remember chapter and verse.

1. The bible says "iron sharpens iron". Sometimes God allows you to "sharpen" each other. Now here is another woman that is going to be a "leader", but is exhibiting imature behaviour. God is giving you an opportunity to see "leaders" are people too and you need each other and support each other. This is an opportunity to humble yourself and say nothing, and pray. But for the grace of God, you could be in her shoes. Plant seeds of mercy and pray for this person, there is no need to talk to her anymore. God has exposed a need of hers to your eyes only. Say nothing and intercede for another leader.

2. From just the little you have written, Satan is already on the loose to cause disunity among your group because he sees it as a genuine threat. There is a scripture that says where brothers (sisters) dwell together in UNITY, God commands a blessing. Satan does not want this group of leaders to be blessed, so he has sown his first seed of disunity.

3. Your group had declared war on Satan's kindgom. Don't be surprised or freaked out, this was the enemy's first volley at your group. Since God exist in his praises, praise God with you whole heart that Satan is afraid of your group, and pray for each other.

[jadeeyes]

I agree that the best thing for you to do now is to pray for her. If you initiate further conversation with her about the matter, it would probably only make things worse. :hug

[phyrehart]

I know this going to sound wrong.. but the words grow up comes to mind.. That was really rude of her to state that in front of everyone else.. She was attacking you in a very wrong way.
That was just mean of her to do.. So yes pray for her but don't think you didn't something wrong.. That was really sad of her to do that to you.. It took the joy out of winning something you enjoyed playing..
I would also tell her how you feel.. That you didn't mean to hurt her or upset her but that your feelings are hurt now.
God will be there between you two and help sooth the soul as it were...
I'm just really sorry to hear that a happy thing you enjoyed got soured this way...
/hugs :)

Deb

[I Believe!!!]

Ok, I feel much better reading the replies here!


Bubblebuster wrote:
Your group had declared war on Satan's kindgom. Don't be surprised or freaked out, this was the enemy's first volley at your group. Since God exist in his praises, praise God with you whole heart that Satan is afraid of your group, and pray for each other.

Yes, this is quite right, and of course he would use someone within the group, which really did throw me for a loop. Ok, I'm not going to take the bait! I'm going to let this go and not give in to hurt feelings and pray for this gal. It was one of my first inclinations, but wondered if I needed to do anything else.

Wow, there must be some good plans God has in order for there to be such an immediate spiritual response. I wonder if my table will have some mom's ready to turn their lives over to Christ or something...because I was definitely targeted, full on! Ok, time to don on the spiritual warfare tools God has given us.

Jadeeyes...I needed to "hear" that from somone else, thanks for your feedback! :hug


Pharehart wrote:
That was really sad of her to do that to you.. It took the joy out of winning something you enjoyed playing..


Yeah, it DID take my joy away....I was feeling kind of upset about that too. I almost felt like I was getting the slight manipulation to hand it over or something.

[Theresa]

Enjoy your win - they don't come often enough.

Pray that this woman grows up and surrenders the covetousness she feels. She can't be happy with herself for being that way, but it is certainly not your (or anyone else's) fault. I agree that you shouldn't even bring it up. And for Pete's sake, don't apologize when you've done nothing wrong! :hug

[pughugs]

i don't think this is about you being a thin person.

[happymommy728]

I wouldn't assume she's jealous of you...especially because you're thin. Maybe she just likes to win and she needs to get over the fact that she lost. Pray for her and be the better person and apologize for saying "Well just because you didn't win doesn't make you less of a person, you're a great gal."
Then drop it and ignore any comments from her. There's no reason for this to ruin the fun you're having. Sounds like she needs to grow up.

[watching4him]

Some people are poor losers, I agree that she needs to grow up & get over it. You can't help the out come of any roll of the dice that you made or she made.

[House of Light]

I think that she has something mentally wrong with her. "Normal" grown women don't carry on like this.