Am I looking at things in the right way??

[AConcernedEarthling]

If anyone out there can give me their honest perspective, I thank you very much in advance.

I have been married now for over 4 years. My husband works and I work full time. We do not have many bills. We are both the : if we can not pay for it with cash, we don't buy it kind of people. We do not have children. My husband has a fairly nice job ; by today's standards; if you know what I mean. He has enough autonomy and he is treated pretty well in the work place. I, on the other hand, am working a dead end job, where the management can make very scary, incompetent decisions at times. It can be a disfuntional, hostile work environment at times. This is one of those jobs where "bad" things happen all of the time and it is better to get out while the going is good; if you know what I mean.

I have voiced by desires to my husband to quit my job and spend the time to find a real position that will be a good, healthy working environment. He will not allow me to do this. He wants me to stay working at this dead end job, but keep looking for other work while I stay at this job.

I am not sure what to think of this. We are in a position where we can afford for me to quit and spend all my time and energy to look for something better. Am I being selfish? Is he right in his thinking?? I just do not know how approach this stuff.


Thank you for any input ; it is greatly appreciated.

[NewWorldOrder]

Unless your job is absolutely horribly unbearable, you should stay until you find a new job. If you're dead set on quitting, and then look for something else, then you'll have to have a sit down with your husband and have a heart to heart talk about it.

It's been my experience, when I was working, not to quit a decent job until you had something else lined up first. You don't know how long it will take you find another job, and if you are getting any kind of benefits at your current job, you will lose them when you leave. If you have something else lined up first, you'll be able to start your new benefits after the transition period. That's JMHO. :hat

[watchman]

Trying to hire on after quitting and not having work will "score" lower with potential employers, and especially with the more professional and desirable companies.

Those who will be inclined to hire you, may not have any better environment than your present company.


If you turn the dilemma into a motivator, it may allow you to focus on the correct place you need to be, as you have it fresh to compare.

But I would draw the line if the present job becomes such a negative stressor that it results in greater distress to you, or your relationship with your DH.

Just be sure if you choose to leave without another position, it is for the proper reason.

As long as your husband is reasonable (and it sounds as if he is) then I think you work through it.

(this is also one of those "character" building moments many of us dread...)

[ZeldaCA]

Sadly, it's true that someone who already has a job is usually more hireable in the business world. However, if you feel you could get another job very quickly, I don't see why it would be a problem to quit first. Certain positions, like nursing, are so in demand that you could quit a job on Monday and get hired someplace else on Tuesday! But if it were to turn into several months of looking, things could get difficult (unless you have a good reason, like starting a family or something like that).

I would say the odds of getting your husband to agree with you is to have a detailed plan, in place, regarding exactly what you are going to do and how long it's going to take you, with a "fall-back" plan in case the economy takes a dive and your ideal job is not available. That might make him rest a little easier.

Hope it works out for you!

[PrinceSomeday]

I was thinking of the Disney movie "Freaky Friday" where the mom and daughter switched bodies. Gave each of them a different perspective.

Wouldn't it help if you and your hubby could switch bodies and he could see what your work environment is like and you could see his. (Sometimes, we think ours is worse until we discover that it isn't that bad. The other person just doesn't complain and so we don't know how bad it actually is.)

My advice, for what it's worth...do as your hubby requests. I know that makes it harder for you. Here are some benefits:

1 - You have a better relationship between the two of you. Choose to forgive him of any perceived insensitivity, choose to love and respect him. Focus on strengthening your relationship. Let NOTHING upset it.

2 - Your attitude towards your current job will become less stressful...why? because you have committed to leaving. No need to be disrespectful, but also, no reason to be afraid. If asked to do something that you feel is wrong morally, etc., you can politely refuse without fear of loosing your job.

3 - Your new attitude at work, may actually fix some of your problems. Sometimes, the way we react and interact causes stress. If we are afraid of loosing our job, we can become defensive, short-tempered or emotional. If we are walking around with a positive attitude and no fear, that can become contagious and "attract" a different atmosphere.

As a cancer survivor, I can tell you the cancer survivor way of thinking. We become thankful for every day we are alive and every opportunity that comes up. There are people we come in contact with who don't know Jesus. Little special blessings that we used to walk right past, we now take the time to stop and enjoy. There may be more "good" things going on in your work environment than you thought. Find them!

[Cookies4me]

My husband currently works at a large recruiting company. It's not easy to get hired in this market. He gets emails on an hourly basis from people who got hit with layoffs. The market is flooded with people who are good highly qualified workers looking for jobs.
You are better off staying at your current job and looking at the same time. It also looks much better to a new employer if you have a current job. A person out of a job is harder to get a job for than one with a job.


Pray, pray, and pray some more before you quit your job. Right now you are blessed with it even if the conditions are not on the side of heaven you want.

:hug

[happymommy728]

I'd stick it out and keep looking for something else. Praying that you find something soon.