NewWorldOrder
October 2nd, 2008, 04:15 PM
I don't want to hijack someone elses thread, so I started my own. *sigh*
I've been married 19 years, have two kids, homeschool, and I'm a SAHM. Lately my husband has been quite overbearing; not just to me but to our girls as well. He lets the silliest things really tick him off. About a month ago he went on a daily voice raising about our cat, and whose turn it was to feed him. It was so bad, that I finally had enough and let him have it. He stopped with the cat, and now he's on a daily ranting about the front door hanging open. He's a big man, 6'1" and 250 pounds. He has a pretty deep voice, and most of what he says is said with disdain and contempt. It's not necessarily what he says, but how he says it. So when he says he's asking for the door to be closed, he's actually demanding with a threatening tone. So, yesterday afternoon, I was talking to my oldest daughter about something and he interrupted about the stupid door again. I like the front door to be open with the glass door closed to let the light in. He went off on my daughter about the door being open, so I had to tell him that I wanted it open. He tells me I need an attitude adjustment. :mad I say back, "look who's talking." He then proceeds to tell me what he's going to do to change my attitude. I am 5'2" and 100 and something pounds, and I'm standing up to this jerk for threatening me. He knows he's losing this argument, so he says he's going to file for divorce because of my disrespect. :rolleyes He's done this on several occasions, and each time I get really upset. This time, I called his bluff, and told him to go right ahead, but don't expect me to be the one to leave. I then tell him what a coward he is for using that as a weapon against me. He kept on and on, and I'm just thinking what an idiot.
He is obviously having some pride issues, but other issues as well. He very rarely comes to church with me, his job is his excuse. He hardly ever does anything except work, come home, sit on the computer, watch TV, and sleep. He will wait until the last possible minute to fix things that need to be fixed. He's unhealthy because of idleness, and he's spiritually dead. I prayed last night for God to bring him to his knees. There's a layoff coming up at his job, and I actually hope he get's laid off. He needs the job, he's been there for ten years, but he works nights and has been really miserable.
The thing is, I'm so tired of him dropping the D-bomb on me every time he has these episodes. It's a power trip with him, and I won't lay down and take it. His father has been emotionally abusive to his mother their entire married life, and she just lays down and takes it. She practically cowers, though lately she's been standing up to him, and he's backing down. Bully's will do that, when you stand up to them. That's not the kind of respect Christ meant for a wife to give her husband. We aren't to fear our spouses because they threaten us, but we are to respect them because they are supposed to be our protector, and spiritual leader in their homes. Husbands are to love their wives at Christ loves the church, but threatening divorce and using that as a weapon and as punishment is not what Christ would do.
Respect also goes both ways. If you speak to your family with nastiness and contempt, that doesn't earn respect. I'm so disappointed in him, that I don't know if I will ever respect him again. He has very little friends, and talks badly about pretty much everybody he knows. I make friends easily, but he never wants to do anything with anyone I'm friends with, just his friends from work. He told me that he would quit his job, divorce me, and I would left with nothing. What husband who is supposed to love his wife, would be so hateful and cruel to her. I still didn't back down, and that just ticked him off even more. I refuse to cower, and be intimidated by fruitless threats.
He doesn't do this very often, but he is a very angry person and feels inadequate as a father and a husband. The problem is, he doesn't do anything about it. I can't make him happy, yet he expects his happiness to come from me, hence his anger and disappointment. It's only by the grace of Christ our Lord that my children have a strong foundation in Him, because it doesn't come my husband. He hasn't prayed, or read the Bible with us in many, many years. It truly is my prayer that God bring him to his knees. Until that happens, and he realizes that his happiness has to come from Christ, he is going to be miserable.
I've been married 19 years, have two kids, homeschool, and I'm a SAHM. Lately my husband has been quite overbearing; not just to me but to our girls as well. He lets the silliest things really tick him off. About a month ago he went on a daily voice raising about our cat, and whose turn it was to feed him. It was so bad, that I finally had enough and let him have it. He stopped with the cat, and now he's on a daily ranting about the front door hanging open. He's a big man, 6'1" and 250 pounds. He has a pretty deep voice, and most of what he says is said with disdain and contempt. It's not necessarily what he says, but how he says it. So when he says he's asking for the door to be closed, he's actually demanding with a threatening tone. So, yesterday afternoon, I was talking to my oldest daughter about something and he interrupted about the stupid door again. I like the front door to be open with the glass door closed to let the light in. He went off on my daughter about the door being open, so I had to tell him that I wanted it open. He tells me I need an attitude adjustment. :mad I say back, "look who's talking." He then proceeds to tell me what he's going to do to change my attitude. I am 5'2" and 100 and something pounds, and I'm standing up to this jerk for threatening me. He knows he's losing this argument, so he says he's going to file for divorce because of my disrespect. :rolleyes He's done this on several occasions, and each time I get really upset. This time, I called his bluff, and told him to go right ahead, but don't expect me to be the one to leave. I then tell him what a coward he is for using that as a weapon against me. He kept on and on, and I'm just thinking what an idiot.
He is obviously having some pride issues, but other issues as well. He very rarely comes to church with me, his job is his excuse. He hardly ever does anything except work, come home, sit on the computer, watch TV, and sleep. He will wait until the last possible minute to fix things that need to be fixed. He's unhealthy because of idleness, and he's spiritually dead. I prayed last night for God to bring him to his knees. There's a layoff coming up at his job, and I actually hope he get's laid off. He needs the job, he's been there for ten years, but he works nights and has been really miserable.
The thing is, I'm so tired of him dropping the D-bomb on me every time he has these episodes. It's a power trip with him, and I won't lay down and take it. His father has been emotionally abusive to his mother their entire married life, and she just lays down and takes it. She practically cowers, though lately she's been standing up to him, and he's backing down. Bully's will do that, when you stand up to them. That's not the kind of respect Christ meant for a wife to give her husband. We aren't to fear our spouses because they threaten us, but we are to respect them because they are supposed to be our protector, and spiritual leader in their homes. Husbands are to love their wives at Christ loves the church, but threatening divorce and using that as a weapon and as punishment is not what Christ would do.
Respect also goes both ways. If you speak to your family with nastiness and contempt, that doesn't earn respect. I'm so disappointed in him, that I don't know if I will ever respect him again. He has very little friends, and talks badly about pretty much everybody he knows. I make friends easily, but he never wants to do anything with anyone I'm friends with, just his friends from work. He told me that he would quit his job, divorce me, and I would left with nothing. What husband who is supposed to love his wife, would be so hateful and cruel to her. I still didn't back down, and that just ticked him off even more. I refuse to cower, and be intimidated by fruitless threats.
He doesn't do this very often, but he is a very angry person and feels inadequate as a father and a husband. The problem is, he doesn't do anything about it. I can't make him happy, yet he expects his happiness to come from me, hence his anger and disappointment. It's only by the grace of Christ our Lord that my children have a strong foundation in Him, because it doesn't come my husband. He hasn't prayed, or read the Bible with us in many, many years. It truly is my prayer that God bring him to his knees. Until that happens, and he realizes that his happiness has to come from Christ, he is going to be miserable.