Any suggestions?

[Angela-Texas]

I am currently having issues in my family. I have been married for almost 17 years and the marriage has not been that great. There have been many issues (nonthing physical) that should have made me walk out many times. But I firmly believe that God doesn't want me to divorce. My husband says he believes in God, however, he doesn't read the bible, doesn't go to church and doesn't really walk the walk. I try to live my life each day and everything that I do asking myself would Jesus approve of this. I am by no means perfect and I make many mistakes. But I try so very hard each day. My parents help lead me closer to the Lord many years ago and I have learned so much from them, which is why I was completely floored when my father informed me a few weeks ago that for basically my whole marriage they have not liked my husband and have now because of this last incident they have washed their hands of him. My husband did something that was not very thoughful (he is very self serving and rarely thinks of anyone but himself) with regards to them, but it wasn't done in a vindictive manner as far as I know. But to hear my parents rant and rave about the issue is beyond me. I have made it known to my husband and my parents that I can not fix the problem and I will not get in the middle of it, however I feel like I need to remind my parents what they have constantly been preaching over the years.

With all my heart I believe that we are all sinners and that we should never turn our back on one another. That we should set an example that Christ wants us to live so that others can learn from that example. That we should forgive, just as we are forgiven.

I feel like now if I even say anything about this to my parents, it will be like telling them they aren't walking the walk and I fear that they too will shun me.

Any suggestions on how to handle this, or just do as I originally said and stay out of it?

Thanks

[phyrehart]

That can be the hardest part with parents liking your spouse.
My Dad is an atheist. With that he has no heart for those that are anything other then white. My sister met this wonderful "white" guy. He was working, he was tall, he came from good family and he was beyond smart.
They were married for 16 years.
I really understand how hard it is to love someone whom your parents don't like. Even if it is with reason ( mine were not with reason).

Most of what I can do for you is pray and share this story to let you know your not alone with this parent not liking the spouse thing..
Feel free to email me in here if you would like to chat
loving you all in Christ
Debbie

[Faithful Servant]

:pray I will pray for you, your husband and your parents. Would your husband be willing to apologize to your parents for what he did, if so would your parents be receptive? Has he apologized to you?

YBIC,
John

[Angela-Texas]

Yes my husband walked up to my father and appologized and offered him lunch and my dad didn't say anything and turned around and walked away. I am just completely shocked that my father did this and only strenghthened my husbands issues with people that call themselves Christians and behave like the way my dad did. I know my dad is angry and I've told him to pray and the Lord will give him the answer on what is the right thing to do. I just don't know if it's my place to say "hey, this is not how we are suppose to behave".

[Faithful Servant]

Yes my husband walked up to my father and appologized and offered him lunch and my dad didn't say anything and turned around and walked away. I am just completely shocked that my father did this and only strenghthened my husbands issues with people that call themselves Christians and behave like the way my dad did. I know my dad is angry and I've told him to pray and the Lord will give him the answer on what is the right thing to do. I just don't know if it's my place to say "hey, this is not how we are suppose to behave".


It was good for your husband to take the initiative and apologize, regardless of the outcome. If you have all of the details that led to this and talk it our with your husband and pray about it, your parents will perhaps follow your example. Just my opinion. I will continue to pray for you. :pray

[Lynn]

Angela, I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this situation. You have probably said the right things, but maybe it wouldn't hurt to have a nice, friendly chat with your mom. In the discussion, you could explain to her how you have always understood the biblical position on forgiveness of one another. Then let her explain how she sees it. This is only if you would feel comfortable talking with her about it. If not, then just let things 'cool down' awhile.

This must be so hard on you, since you love all the people involved. I can't imagine the pain you must feel. Sometimes, with the passage of time, emotions over disputes within a family are less volatile, and folks are ready to forgive and begin to repair the relationships.