Kinda of Sad tonight

[phyrehart]

Hi ladies.

I'll keep this short.. :)
My first husband and I were married for about a minute lol. :)
I was 18 when we married. My son was born in 8 months later. He was a premee.. :( only 3 lbs..
anyways, I think I spelled premee wrong.. hehe.. oh well. it's late.
My ex and his mother were deep into the morman church. Becaus of my sever lack of knowledge of religion at all I didn't really mind what he was brought up in as long as it helped him stay away from drugs and other bad things..
Moving forward to about 28 years... He married a young gal about 4 years ago. She is morman as well and her step parents are very deep into the church..
My son and his wife moved in with them after she was deployed to the east coast of USA.
They finally bought a house and now they are deep into the church.
I've realized now about the morman church.
This weekend my son is getting re-married to his wife in the morman temple. I just found out today. Guess what? I'm not invited.
I am not morman. I was not invited and well it hurts.
It's ok to call me for help, money, advice and once in a while just to dump a bad day on. But I'm not worthy enough to be part of their wedding.

It's sad.. I feel left out.

There is a longer story about my relationship with my daughter in law. She is very two faced (if that is still a saying)
She is only 24 and is pregnant with their second baby. I want to much to be a part of their lives. But I can't be because she is the one he has to live with. When she is upset for what ever reason he has to choose her side.
I've been accused of talking baby talk to her because I call her sweety and hon. I got yelled at one time by her because I asked her if she would like to pray with me and she wanted to be left alone. I wrote her a letter when they were first married telling her that I've been married before and when divorced the family didn't want anything to do with me but I would never treat her that way. She then accused me of saying she and my son were breaking up. (HUH)
She gets mad and you can not talk to her. She will get up go out of the room and never talk to you again about it. It's extreamly difficult.
I only have one son. I only have one child. It was not by choice that I got at least that.. I've had to share my son all his life with my side of the family and his dad's side of the family due to him being the first on both side...

I've only seem him once in the last 18 months.. twice in the last 3 years.. It just really bites that I can't be a part of his life other then what I said earlier..
He is working so hard on his nurcing degree and she is in the Army.. they have zero time for other drama.. so I just pray.. I don't men that in a bad way.. I'm just really hurt.. I'm running out of time I feel.

Thats all for now.. Take care and have a goodnight..
and thanks for being here and listening.. :)
/hugs to you all.. Goodnight.
Debbie

[Freemanmom]

I will pray for you, and especially your son and his family. I know how inviting the Mormon church looks from the outside. I think people get sucked in by that, and then they are in over their heads with false doctrine. :hug I know Satan enjoys when he can cause problems within a family.

[watchman]

Remember, you are the "bride" in the best wedding, to the best groom ever.
Never loose sight of that, and be mindful that G-d takes the wedding very seriously, and for those who deny you that blessing, to witness and be part of it, will not pass by un-noticed. And may G-d bless you in the spirit of restoration to that which you have lost.

[PrinceSomeday]

Love conquers all. Keep loving your DIL and Son. Get real good at biting your tongue. Never, never, never say anything negative or derogatory about them, or the Morman church. Let your silent, sacrificial, loving service be your greatest testimony.:hug

:pray

[JadoreAdonai]

So sad to hear what you're going through. I'm sure it's very hard! The only other advice I think to offer you, other than to keep praying, is don't be their doormat!
If you're going to be treated as just some one to go to only when they need you, for money, advice, or free babysitting perhaps, then don't do it. Be a mother. Be kind. Be respectful. Don't but into their affairs(not saying you do, just advising you not to) Be loving. But don't let yourself be taken advantage of. Be firm. Show them that you deserve more, deserve better, than what they're giving you. And if they don't treat you better, don't be a doormat, don't keep letting them take you for granted, and take advantage of your kindness.
I've learned from first hand experience what being the doormat is like. When you're so loving, so kind to the point that you let people disrespect you, treat you how they want, use you and abuse you, they will view you as weak, as below them, and they will use it to continually take advantage of you, and even to abuse. Until you stand up and show yourself to be a stronger person confident in yourself, affirming the proper way to be treated and expecting nothing less, then you'll be like a doormat, someone people just walk all over, without any regard.

Be brave, and be diligent, don't give up your hope! God sees all that is going on, and He hears your inner thoughts, and He Hears your prayers. Know, and remember this:
Romans 8:28
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose.
:hug:pray

[ZeldaCA]

I am very close to my son and I can understand exactly why this would break your heart. Hopefully, as time goes by, you will be able to keep a good relationship with him (and with her, since she's now part of the package).
I can completely understand why you would feel left out of the wedding, though. Just try and tell yourself that it's only one day, and you have a long lifetime to make memories with your son and your grandchildren. :hug

[lisaann]

Morman Temple Weddings are very private affairs. You should be thankful you are not invited to the "temple marriage". The couple has to copulate in front of the church elders. (Kind of difficult because they get their special underwear that they can not take off.)



:shocked :panic

phyrehart :hug Keep loving them and praying/fasting for them to see the Truth.

[FaithContender]

Morman Temple Weddings are very private affairs. You should be thankful you are not invited to the "temple marriage". The couple has to copulate in front of the church elders. (Kind of difficult because they get their special underwear that they can not take off.)

Where did you hear that? :scratch

[Mrsppmrxky]

Originally Posted by PrinceSomeday
Morman Temple Weddings are very private affairs. You should be thankful you are not invited to the "temple marriage". The couple has to copulate in front of the church elders. (Kind of difficult because they get their special underwear that they can not take off.)


I also want to know where you heard that please. All I have ever seen on Temple Marriage is that they have to CONSENCRATE not copulate their marriage before the elders.......2 very different things!

[WickIsTrimmed]

I'll be praying for you as well. I also have an only child I never see because of similar issues. My mother was the same way. It hurts to the depths of the soul.