autumn8297
October 17th, 2008, 09:43 PM
Hi,
I live here in central NC with my husband and 3 daughters. I love my church family but sadly, I see the church falling away. Pastor is great but is stifled by church board who aren't really sensitive to the Holy Spirit. They don't want to go deeper into scripture, they don't want to talk about Revelations as all, much less the Rapture. There are sweet people there but it's more and more the church of "my great grand-daddy" helped build this, etc. etc. I was saved years ago and am blessed that most of my family is saved.
Because of trials in my life I have been blessed to walk deeper with the Lord. You know what they say, you learn more in the valley! lol This year the Lord really began pressing on my heart the need to study more of End Times and He really awoke in me a deeper yearning to be in His presence. I have always loved Revelations, it is a comfort to me. But I had never really understood it. I had initially heard David Jeremiah's study of Revelations and Daniel and that is when I became "hooked"! lol So when I began doing further research on the net, I found Rapture Ready and considering how much the Rapture has been on my heart in 2008, I knew I had found a home where I could find greater intimacy in my walk, greater understanding and yes, I am in need of some real fellowship! There are not many that I can talk to in depth about the Rapture, even among my family members that are saved. My hubby, my kids and my MIL are about it.
I look forward to getting to know others here! As far as where I am coming from spiritually, I am including a poem below that I wrote which is basically my testimony:
The Voice
The Lord's hand is upon my shoulder.
He stands me at the ready, I will rest in Him.
His hand releases me, "Go." He commands in a strong voice.
So for this day I am set free upon a meadow.
I run through deep grass, feel rain wet against my legs.
I feel like I was born to run through fields this way.
To watch sunlight ripple through patches of shade.
I hear the voice calling me back.
Once again, I rest with His hand upon me.
Again, He stands me at the ready and quietly whispers "Go." in my ear.
I hesitate, look up at Him.
Today I know that I will not be running through fields, I am afraid.
His hand is on my back, I go forward.
I will trust in Him.
I run but not through meadows.
I run through the world, the violence.
I stumble and cut my knees on rocks.
My hands are bleeding, my heart sore.
I hear the voice calling me back.
I will not go.
I am angry.
Why was I thrust out into this world?
Instead, I find my own way. Or don't.
I just become lost, running is now the only thing that I know.
Once, I hear the voice.
I stop for just a moment, then run on.
I will not believe that what He offers is something I am willing to accept.
I run on, grow tired. World weary.
I run from the past in fear of my mistakes, into a future I fear even more.
The voice has not been heard for a long time.
I need the voice, the strong hand but on my own terms.
I become angry again at the silence, angry that He has set his face as stone.
Not realizing that my own heart is as stone.
Run on, run on. Fit in misfit.
The world will not have you.
They fear the voice that echoes around you.
The voice had never stopped calling, I had only closed my ears.
Still I run on. I want to stop, turn to the voice but now I am afraid that He won't have me.
Then final collapse, my hardest fall.
I have no more strength to run, to cover my ears.
I am barely breathing.
What was that?
Having been so long away from home, I do not immediately recognize the voice.
But it gathers strength.
His hand grabs the arm of this world, twists that arm behind its back, forces it to admit its lies, to acknowledge its traps.
I look on helpless.
Then I am alone.
No, not alone.
My Lord has come.
His hand stretches out to me.
I am on my hands and knees crawling to that hand.
I grasp the fingers and climb onto His palm.
I breathe for the first time in years and shudder with remembered pain and shame.
The hand encircles me, the voice whispers joy and peace, cleansing and salvation.
I am drawn up through clouds, into floating warmth.
I rest.
I rest.
I sleep and wake.
I am standing before the world.
I look to the right, His hand is again upon my shoulder.
I look inside. My heart of stone has been replaced with a heart of flesh.
It will beat, it will bleed and it will never cease calling out to its Creator, its Healer.
Again that word "Go."
I stay, look up at my Holy One.
I take up the hand that has been resting on my shoulder.
I put it on my heart.
My grateful tears fall, diamonds on the nail scars of His hand.
Again the word "Go."
I go.
With my ears open, hearing the sound of His voice.
My eyes open to see that His hand is always upon me.
He is with me, a real presence, a comfort, a guide.
I run.
I run the race, His race set before me- with quiet strength until I am once again called home.
I live here in central NC with my husband and 3 daughters. I love my church family but sadly, I see the church falling away. Pastor is great but is stifled by church board who aren't really sensitive to the Holy Spirit. They don't want to go deeper into scripture, they don't want to talk about Revelations as all, much less the Rapture. There are sweet people there but it's more and more the church of "my great grand-daddy" helped build this, etc. etc. I was saved years ago and am blessed that most of my family is saved.
Because of trials in my life I have been blessed to walk deeper with the Lord. You know what they say, you learn more in the valley! lol This year the Lord really began pressing on my heart the need to study more of End Times and He really awoke in me a deeper yearning to be in His presence. I have always loved Revelations, it is a comfort to me. But I had never really understood it. I had initially heard David Jeremiah's study of Revelations and Daniel and that is when I became "hooked"! lol So when I began doing further research on the net, I found Rapture Ready and considering how much the Rapture has been on my heart in 2008, I knew I had found a home where I could find greater intimacy in my walk, greater understanding and yes, I am in need of some real fellowship! There are not many that I can talk to in depth about the Rapture, even among my family members that are saved. My hubby, my kids and my MIL are about it.
I look forward to getting to know others here! As far as where I am coming from spiritually, I am including a poem below that I wrote which is basically my testimony:
The Voice
The Lord's hand is upon my shoulder.
He stands me at the ready, I will rest in Him.
His hand releases me, "Go." He commands in a strong voice.
So for this day I am set free upon a meadow.
I run through deep grass, feel rain wet against my legs.
I feel like I was born to run through fields this way.
To watch sunlight ripple through patches of shade.
I hear the voice calling me back.
Once again, I rest with His hand upon me.
Again, He stands me at the ready and quietly whispers "Go." in my ear.
I hesitate, look up at Him.
Today I know that I will not be running through fields, I am afraid.
His hand is on my back, I go forward.
I will trust in Him.
I run but not through meadows.
I run through the world, the violence.
I stumble and cut my knees on rocks.
My hands are bleeding, my heart sore.
I hear the voice calling me back.
I will not go.
I am angry.
Why was I thrust out into this world?
Instead, I find my own way. Or don't.
I just become lost, running is now the only thing that I know.
Once, I hear the voice.
I stop for just a moment, then run on.
I will not believe that what He offers is something I am willing to accept.
I run on, grow tired. World weary.
I run from the past in fear of my mistakes, into a future I fear even more.
The voice has not been heard for a long time.
I need the voice, the strong hand but on my own terms.
I become angry again at the silence, angry that He has set his face as stone.
Not realizing that my own heart is as stone.
Run on, run on. Fit in misfit.
The world will not have you.
They fear the voice that echoes around you.
The voice had never stopped calling, I had only closed my ears.
Still I run on. I want to stop, turn to the voice but now I am afraid that He won't have me.
Then final collapse, my hardest fall.
I have no more strength to run, to cover my ears.
I am barely breathing.
What was that?
Having been so long away from home, I do not immediately recognize the voice.
But it gathers strength.
His hand grabs the arm of this world, twists that arm behind its back, forces it to admit its lies, to acknowledge its traps.
I look on helpless.
Then I am alone.
No, not alone.
My Lord has come.
His hand stretches out to me.
I am on my hands and knees crawling to that hand.
I grasp the fingers and climb onto His palm.
I breathe for the first time in years and shudder with remembered pain and shame.
The hand encircles me, the voice whispers joy and peace, cleansing and salvation.
I am drawn up through clouds, into floating warmth.
I rest.
I rest.
I sleep and wake.
I am standing before the world.
I look to the right, His hand is again upon my shoulder.
I look inside. My heart of stone has been replaced with a heart of flesh.
It will beat, it will bleed and it will never cease calling out to its Creator, its Healer.
Again that word "Go."
I stay, look up at my Holy One.
I take up the hand that has been resting on my shoulder.
I put it on my heart.
My grateful tears fall, diamonds on the nail scars of His hand.
Again the word "Go."
I go.
With my ears open, hearing the sound of His voice.
My eyes open to see that His hand is always upon me.
He is with me, a real presence, a comfort, a guide.
I run.
I run the race, His race set before me- with quiet strength until I am once again called home.