Work environment questions.

[Struggling]

Guys I have some questions. Maybe you can help me. I have brought up before I co-own a small business with a friend. We work around some guys I grew up with and have known since I was a kid. I've been through a lot(war and other things) and it has changed me. I used to be wild and very outgoing. I'm now very reserved and quiet for the most part. It seems this is a problem for these other guys. They constantly joke with me trying to get a reaction I never give. They complain that I used to be cool but now I act like a old man. What is the deal? Why can't they accept who I am now? I'll be forty soon. These guys are the same age but act 16. They get offended when I tell them they are older now and need to accept it. It seems I'm not allowed to have a bad day. I do not ask people how they are doing and don't take interest in most of their personal lives because I feel that is being nosey. Am I wrong? Why do these guys seem obsessed with my behavior as I am not doing anything to anybody?

[Tres Wright]

"I do not ask people how they are doing and don't take interest in most of their personal lives because I feel that is being nosey."

I would suggest you reach out to them and try to get to know them better. Asking people how they are doing, how their kids are doing, what they do with their spare time, etc. is most definitely not being nosey and most people love it when they are asked and will open right up. Being nosey would be something like asking who they voted for :) Get to know them and let them to get to know you a bit and I'm sure things will smooth out a lot. And of course prayer never hurts :) Best wishes to you!

[DDog]

Struggling,

I have similar problems that I've had to deal with ever since leaving the Marines. Prior to the military, I was the "class clown" or the "life of the party" kind of guy. Afterwards, I was more serious, but no one accepted the changes in me. I think this is because they weren't with me when I went through what I did. Even if they were interested enough to hear about it, it wouldn't matter.

The advice given by Tres Wright is sound. But, I think I'll just have these struggles. People I work with know that I won't participate in gossip or backstabbing. I deal with jealousies because I don't waste time and work hard. But, I work with God as my boss, not a human being. My work is my service to the Lord.

I will pray for you to find peace, understanding and wisdom. Please pray for these same issues with me too.

[Struggling]

Struggling,

I have similar problems that I've had to deal with ever since leaving the Marines. Prior to the military, I was the "class clown" or the "life of the party" kind of guy. Afterwards, I was more serious, but no one accepted the changes in me. I think this is because they weren't with me when I went through what I did. Even if they were interested enough to hear about it, it wouldn't matter.

The advice given by Tres Wright is sound. But, I think I'll just have these struggles. People I work with know that I won't participate in gossip or backstabbing. I deal with jealousies because I don't waste time and work hard. But, I work with God as my boss, not a human being. My work is my service to the Lord.

I will pray for you to find peace, understanding and wisdom. Please pray for these same issues with me too.


Sounds like we have the same issues. I appreciate the advice. You have my prayers.

[Wally]

If you have experienced war, submitted to the discipline of The Service, Then you should be changed. Perhaps wiser, better self-disciplined, humble, sober. It is expected.

I meet too many who cannot appreciate the bread that God provides each day, let alone the service rendered by many Veterans.

Hopefully there is still a child inside you who treasures simple things. Think about what you like, what you praise God for. Then ask them the same. Maybe you can find common interests. Still even if the same interest pops up, you may have a deeper or different appreciation for it. It may take time.

You might find a witness in this change. "When I was a child....then I became a man......"
Tell them about how much more you appreciate God's, creation, provision, salvation.

Then find out what they appreciate and try to share it with them.
Be like Paul who became as the people he ministered too, but without compromising his faith in Christ.

[bkp1]

Guys I have some questions. Maybe you can help me. I have brought up before I co-own a small business with a friend. We work around some guys I grew up with and have known since I was a kid. I've been through a lot(war and other things) and it has changed me. I used to be wild and very outgoing. I'm now very reserved and quiet for the most part. It seems this is a problem for these other guys. They constantly joke with me trying to get a reaction I never give. They complain that I used to be cool but now I act like a old man. What is the deal? Why can't they accept who I am now? I'll be forty soon. These guys are the same age but act 16. They get offended when I tell them they are older now and need to accept it. It seems I'm not allowed to have a bad day. I do not ask people how they are doing and don't take interest in most of their personal lives because I feel that is being nosey. Am I wrong? Why do these guys seem obsessed with my behavior as I am not doing anything to anybody?

I too struggle with this. I used to have a lot of friends before and during my military service. I noticed after getting out I kind of keep to myself, or immediate family. I very rarely keep in touch with any old friends, or distant relatives.

When I am at work I have my friends, but I tend to keep it strictly business. I am never the guy that stands around at the loading dock chit-chatting, joking, etc. But I am a persons best friend whenever they need help with something on the job, and have often drove out of my way, or worked late hours off the clock to help a co-worker finish a tough job.

When serving in the military you meet some of the best friends you will ever meet in your life, these people are your family for the duration of your enlistment, and you may have to rely on them in a life or death situation, or vice-versa.

I have a very difficult time trusting anyone in this world anymore unless they are family, or a close friend. And the only "true" close friends I ever had were in the military. But I am always there for anyone regardless. I just don't keep in touch, but everyone that knows me, knows I am always just a phone call away.

In addition I thank you for your service:hat

[Struggling]

I too struggle with this. I used to have a lot of friends before and during my military service. I noticed after getting out I kind of keep to myself, or immediate family. I very rarely keep in touch with any old friends, or distant relatives.

When I am at work I have my friends, but I tend to keep it strictly business. I am never the guy that stands around at the loading dock chit-chatting, joking, etc. But I am a persons best friend whenever they need help with something on the job, and have often drove out of my way, or worked late hours off the clock to help a co-worker finish a tough job.

When serving in the military you meet some of the best friends you will ever meet in your life, these people are your family for the duration of your enlistment, and you may have to rely on them in a life or death situation, or vice-versa.

I have a very difficult time trusting anyone in this world anymore unless they are family, or a close friend. And the only "true" close friends I ever had were in the military. But I am always there for anyone regardless. I just don't keep in touch, but everyone that knows me, knows I am always just a phone call away.

In addition I thank you for your service:hat

I'm not sure what's really with these guys. I offer to go out of my way to help them but they seemingly don't appreciate my kindness. They never say thanks. I don't really expect it. I don't share much with them and I believe that offends them but that's too bad.

[bgrasspicker]

Same here. War forever changes us. I don't do the things I used to. I am not as outgoing. I sometimes cannot tell the difference from a joke to serious thoughts. My dad says I need to smile more. Just because I don't smile, don't mean I ain't happy. That really sticks in my crawl. He should be more understanding. He's a Vietnam Vet. I'll start praying for my brothers that served. We all need it.

I don't share anything with my buddies either. Number one it's personal. Number two they ain't earned the right to know. I don't mean to sound hateful in any way. That's just how it is.

Thank you for seving. I am proud of all of you.