Homeschooling dilemma HELP!!!

[CircleSlide]

I need some help, and I will try to make this very long story short, which is going to be hard to do.

We have homeschooled in the past for about four years, but my son, who is high functioning autistic, was such a handful, and made homeschooling so hard, it became a daily nightmare, well two years ago my oldest had had enough and wanted to go to private school. We came up with the money and she loved it. After she was there for a year we made arrangements to send all of our kids (including our son, with much preparations for him), well it turned into a disaster for him. They ended up kicking him out, not because of behavior but because he was hurting their test scores. Our only other option was to send him to public school, we even had to hire a child advocate to get him what he needed. In my oldest daughter's eyes this was a injustice, and hypocritical what the private christian school did to her brother so she chose to follow him to the public school. Well now all of our children have been at the public school and have been for a year, now my oldest is very upset, and my youngest too.

My oldest dd is 15, and in the ninth grade, she has been getting sick every fall, since she has been back to public school, just feeling poorly. Well yesterday, she tells me that she wants to be homeschooled, she is tired of the foul language, crude behavior, lack of morals, and the brainwashing of the students. She just sent me and her dad an e-mail explaining her self. Ok add to that, my youngest dd is 10, and is really struggling at school as well, she hasn't made friends, because they are all "drama" queens, and into boys boys boys. Which I am so glad about, but she is lonely, and struggling in many of her subjects. Most of their friends are homeschooled and our church really supports it so that is an added benefit.

Ok the dilemma!!!!!!! Our son (13) is doing great in public school! He has improved so much, they give him the help he needs, I just cant express how well he is doing. BUT if he finds out his sisters are being homeschooled he would so want to come home with them, he would be so hurt and once again feel he was different, and I just don't know if I could go back to that, I won't go into it all but it was just really really bad!

I am really at a loss, any ideas would be greatly appreciated!

[Trelane]

I'm praying for you.
My concern is that if you keep switching back and forth from different types of schools (homeschool to public back to homeschool), you may wind up with a truant officer at your door. If you and your son are doing much better with his current situation, then keep him in public school. I know you only want what is best for your kids, but they are kids and kids do not always know what is best for them. I suggest a big family conference. I'll pray for your situation and I pray you have guidance from the Lord.

Jenn

[NewWorldOrder]

I agree with Trelane. If your son is flourishing in PS, then explain to him to every person, learns differently. He learns best by being in PS, and that for the time being he should stay there, and that if things change for him you will make different arrangements. You really need to do what is best for him. If you feel he is doing well where he is, then leave him there. In a year or two that may change depending on the teacher. Later on he may get a teacher that doesn't care, or is more harsh. But, for now, he seems to have a really good teacher who is really looking out for him and doing a good job. Be thankful and praise God for this. :hug

[IM_HIS]

We are in much the same situation. Two of my four children are homeschooled, and two are in public school. One by choice, and one by necessity, because of his disability. It is hard to do what is right for your family (including yourself!) when it doesn't seem "fair". I'll be praying for you to make the decision that is best for your FAMILY.

YSIC,

Anji

[Sunny]

I'm probably going to be 'odd man out' on this one, sorry. LOL

But I think you may be giving your kids too much control over the situation. All the changes may be making them feel they can just do whatever seems good to them at the time and it's causing the whole family to be up in arms about it.

I commiserate with you on the difficulties. I had troubles with mine as well, all a variety of ways. I would keep the family as a unit, myself. I personally believe that to be a bigger priority especially since all the children want the same thing. I would weigh the hurt your son would feel against the slight gain in education. For me, his feeling a complete part of the family is more important.

Minority opinion. LOL Just examine all the motives, weigh the priorities, and pray a lot. Whatever the situation, I pray you are all drawn closer to the Lord and to one another through this very rough time. :hug

[CircleSlide]

Thanks so much everyone for your thoughts. We are not going to move our son. As for our dd, we will probably have them ride out the year. We are taking the next few months to think about it. One thing we don't do is rush into anything.

Thanks all (((grouphug)))

[Reason&Hope]

CircleSlide, your avatar is Gypsy! I can hear her now: "Richard Baseheart! Richard Baseheart!"

Back to OT, I know people who have one kid in private, one in public and 2 homeschooled. So, it is possible to have a family conference and explain to them that each individual is different and God can have different plans for us. (And no, I wouldn't "ride out the year" if public school is having a negative effect on a child.)

Here's a word picture that might help (substitute your own toys and stuff):
Janey really likes American Girl dolls, Bill likes books on astronomy, and John prefers music. But, in the interests of "fairness" and "treating everyone the same", for Christmas this year, we're going to give all three kids books on astronomy. Would you like that? [kids will say No] Well, Janey's educational needs are different than Bill's too. That's why after prayerful discussion, we're going to keep Bill in public school and we're going to homeschool Janey.

That might help them understand it better.

[OnTheHorizon]

My oldest dd is 15, and in the ninth grade, she has been getting sick every fall, since she has been back to public school, just feeling poorly. Well yesterday, she tells me that she wants to be homeschooled, she is tired of the foul language, crude behavior, lack of morals, and the brainwashing of the students. She just sent me and her dad an e-mail explaining her self. Ok add to that, my youngest dd is 10, and is really struggling at school as well, she hasn't made friends, because they are all "drama" queens, and into boys boys boys. Which I am so glad about, but she is lonely, and struggling in many of her subjects. Most of their friends are homeschooled and our church really supports it so that is an added benefit.


That is a tough situation! What stood out to me was what I bold-ed above. Your DD spends a lot of time with these people and that can't help but have an affect on her. I wonder if she's not feeling well because of stress or anxiety due to what she has to deal with every day.
I would be very concerned about this. I don't know what I would do about your son but I it were my daughter and I had the ability to home school, I probably would. At 15 she can probably do a lot of her work independantly if you work. Maybe you could let your 10 year old finish out the year so her brother doesn't feel left out if she's doing ok.:idunno
Just my http://img65.imageshack.us/img65/8338/2cents3fo.gif

[CircleSlide]

All very good points!

Many of the decisions we have made where to help our son, who at one point was in very bad shape, but now is a completely different child. Praise God!!! As for our oldest dd, she is such an easy child, always accommodates, sometime to a fault, puts others first. She is wise beyond her years. I would have no problem HS her again, she always did/does her studies with out complaint and she does it well, she sets goals for herself, and she has a plan for her life. She has always had to play second fiddle to her autistic brother this is one of the reasons we let her go to private school, but then when they kicked him out (unjustly I might add, ohhh that's a long story, and it really was unjustly), she just couldn't attend there because she saw true hypocrisy really for the first time (and I really didn't want to give them any more money because of how they racked over my son, **ok I really am still ticked over all that lol**)

I have been looking at it like this. I am in a situation where most of my friends are saved, I am not around vulgar, ill moral, crude people. I don't have to hear the talk, and constantly have to justify my actions. She does! This would make any Christian sick, which is why I think she is constantly feeling poorly. For 1 1/2 years now she has been taking zantac twice a day to help her stomach, doctors prescription.

Just read through what I wrote HAHA, I need to take a chill pill. Thanks for all your help, we take our children's education seriously, but we have always said we will take each year as it comes.

[Romans11:29]

We have our two oldest at home and out third child in public school. She is in second grade and has had the awesome opportunity of looping up with her teacher since kindergarten. We have evaluated each child based on what we felt was best for them each year. She will probably come home next year as that is her desire and we will be redistricted to a new school. She is also bored this year in school. We felt she was better off there for several reasons but know that next year will need to be different. I think when it comes to educating your children, you can't use a one size fits all philosophy all the time. If something is working for your child, don't change it because you have to change something for another child. I am taking this year to get my older two more independent in their school work so I will be able to spend more time with our third child next year.

Pray about it and see what direction God gives you.