Key to Good Marriage? Share Housework - children no longer as important

[tygerkittn]

Thanks for clarifying that, oholycherrio. It was a survey on what makes marriages successful. Children fell from 3rd place to 8th. The survey had nothing to do with the importance of children on society.

Edited to add: I doubt my husband and I will ever have children, and I count my marriage as successful. :noidea

I think that when people surveyed say that a spouse who shares chores is more important than having children, it's a reflection of society's lack of commitment to children. It also mentioned that society is structured in a way that's against parenting, such as lack of day care and workplaces that are resistant to family's needs. It sounds like hearts growing cold to me, maybe we're being led away from reproduction because it's the end times, or maybe it's vice versa.


Japan is a prime example of a secular society, and their birth rate has dropped so much they're dying out. Not enough children are being born to replace those who die. That's a secular way of thinking. Australia, which statistically is not very religious, is starting to have the same problem.

[lisa]

You are entitled to that opinion, but I want to tell you that you are alienating a whole lot of people with that opinion. You've basically called anyone who has chosen not to have children (for whatever reason) and would like their spouse to share the load cold-hearted. I'm not offended because the Lord tells me not to be offended. However, you may want to see things as less black and white on this one.

[lisa]

I think that when people surveyed say that a spouse who shares chores is more important than having children, it's a reflection of society's lack of commitment to children. It also mentioned that society is structured in a way that's against parenting, such as lack of day care and workplaces that are resistant to family's needs. It sounds like hearts growing cold to me, maybe we're being led away from reproduction because it's the end times, or maybe it's vice versa.


Japan is a prime example of a secular society, and their birth rate has dropped so much they're dying out. Not enough children are being born to replace those who die. That's a secular way of thinking. Australia, which statistically is not very religious, is starting to have the same problem.

I'd love to see scriptural basis for how this is secular thinking.

[tygerkittn]

"Be fruitful and multiply."

[professor h]

I'd love to see scriptural basis for how this is secular thinking.


I'm guessing it's a reference to being fruitful and multiplying....


I think it somewhat strange to believe a marriage isn't as much of a marriage without children. People marry because they love each other. They don't feel the urge to have babies, then go out in search of a partner to fulfill that need. I married initially without any intention of having children, but as I've grown, and my capacity for love and empathy have developed, children are looking more and more appealing to me. IN that vein, I see children as an enhancement to a marriage, not a reason for one.

It's funny. As a teacher, I always thought, "I have 200 kids a year, why do I need one of my own?" But as I've gotten older, I've realized that if I can impact a person significantly by talking to/with them for 3 hours a week, I can only imagine what it would be like to have their undivided attention for years and years.... I know it sounds strange, but the more I think of a child as a "project", the more appealing the idea becomes. I am the kind of person who really relishes challenges, and I guess children are the ultimate challenge. (yes I know my mind is way too rational sometimes)

[tygerkittn]

http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/Sermons/ByDate/2007/2188_Marriage_Is_Meant_for_Making_ChildrenDisciple s_of_Jesus/


Let me know if you need a link to part 2.

I have a friend who is adopting, and I think it's the most wonderful thing that not only is she saving this child physically from an unhappy life, but spiritually as well, from a very unhappy eternity.. When my six kids are grown, I hope to adopt six. The more children I can raise to love and worship and praise God, the better.
If I had no children I would still have Sunday School classes and VBS classes to love and spoil. I cried like a baby when each of the kids in our classes were baptized.
Children are the future. That's one of the things wrong with homosexuality, I don't know why God considers it such a terrible sin but I've wondered if this might have something to do with it:they have no stake in the future, so they're only concerned with the present, and hedonism, and their own wants. Marriage and society and individuals should make children their number one priority. Period. If that's politically incorrect and costs me the esteem of others I don't care.

Here's a quote from John Piper:
"Filling the Earth . . . With Worshipers of Jesus
Now what I want to add today is that marriage is for making children . . . disciples of Jesus. There is a double meaning that I hope will help you remember the point. Marriage is for making children—that is, procreation. Having babies. This is not the main meaning of marriage. But is an important one and a biblical one. But then I add the words disciples of Jesus. “Marriage is for making children disciples of Jesus.” Here the focus shifts. This purpose of marriage is not merely to add more bodies to the planet. The point is to increase the number of followers of Jesus on the planet."

"Suffer the little children to come unto me for such is the kingdom of heaven."

[lisa]

"Be fruitful and multiply."

Yup. :nod Gen 9:1 So God blessed Noah and his sons, and said to them: "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth.

[professor h]

Marriage and society and individuals should make children their number one priority. Period. If that's politically correct and costs me the esteem of others I don't care.


If you mean taking care of children, then I agree 100%. If you mean HAVING children, then I'd have to disagree. That concept might make since if we didn't live on a planet w/ 6.6 billion other people,a steadily increasing population, and steadily decreasing resources.

[lisa]

If you mean taking care of children, then I agree 100%. If you mean HAVING children, then I'd have to disagree. That concept might make since if we didn't live on a planet w/ 6.6 billion other people,a steadily increasing population, and steadily decreasing resources.

I agree with this wholeheartedly. I am a teacher and a Children's Ministry director. I get to be around children 6 days a week! I LOVE them. But when you speak of resources... my husband and I have few. And I'm not going to pawn my kids off to daycare while I go make money to pay our bills. (Disclaimer: I'm not calling anyone who uses daycare bad. This is a personal decision between my husband and I) For us it's like, why have them if I can't be with them all the time? Seems irresponsible. :noidea

[Comfort me]

Me and my wife have been married ten years a month from today. We are not having children. My mother ran a daycare center at home when I was growing up and it scared me for life. My wife doesn't want them either. I see all kinds of people having kids and then feeling they are a burden after they've had them. It's like some people did not even think about all the work that comes with having kids. I saw a woman walking down the mall happily with her children and the father five feet behind and you can tell it is not what he wanted. You can tell that is not what he wanted in life. Also, some of you pushing having children on those who don't want them probably wish you never had them at times. I hope I don't sound too harsh but some are being harsh themselves.