Key to Good Marriage? Share Housework - children no longer as important

[romans224]

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Marriage and society and individuals should make children their number one priority. Period. If that's politically incorrect and costs me the esteem of others I don't care.

I have to disagree with making children number 1 priority, however if God puts that on your heart then I say follow it. However for me when the husband can learn to accept his role as one to love His wife as Christ loves the church and the wife to respect her husband and be submissive to him, then the attitude of one another is shown as it should, affects the children they have. MAybe I see your point at a different angle.

[lisa]

Here's a quote from John Piper:
"Filling the Earth . . . With Worshipers of Jesus
Now what I want to add today is that marriage is for making children . . . disciples of Jesus. There is a double meaning that I hope will help you remember the point. Marriage is for making children—that is, procreation. Having babies. This is not the main meaning of marriage. But is an important one and a biblical one. But then I add the words disciples of Jesus. “Marriage is for making children disciples of Jesus.” Here the focus shifts. This purpose of marriage is not merely to add more bodies to the planet. The point is to increase the number of followers of Jesus on the planet."



It's an interesting argument, but again, it's an opinion. There's no scripture saying you are sinning for not having them. It's not a commandment from the Lord to have children. Surely they are a blessing, and Scripture says as much. But there's no scripture saying it's wrong not to have them.

[romans224]

Me and my wife have been married ten years a month from today. We are not having children. My mother ran a daycare center at home when I was growing up and it scared me for life. My wife doesn't want them either. I see all kinds of people having kids and then feeling they are a burden after they've had them. It's like some people did not even think about all the work that comes with having kids. I saw a woman walking down the mall happily with her children and the father five feet behind and you can tell it is not what he wanted. You can tell that is not what he wanted in life. Also, some of you pushing having children on those who don't want them probably wish you never had them at times. I hope I don't sound too harsh but some are being harsh themselves.

I respect that God has layed on the hearts of some couples to have kids while others He does not. God's will be done is what matters and not all of us have that same desire, besides if we did somethings would never get done for the kingdom!

[lisa]

I respect that God has layed on the hearts of some couples to have kids while others He does not. God's will be done is what matters and not all of us have that same desire, besides if we did somethings would never get done for the kingdom!

:yay AMEN!

[tygerkittn]

I agree with this wholeheartedly. I am a teacher and a Children's Ministry director. I get to be around children 6 days a week! I LOVE them. But when you speak of resources... my husband and I have few. And I'm not going to pawn my kids off to daycare while I go make money to pay our bills. (Disclaimer: I'm not calling anyone who uses daycare bad. This is a personal decision between my husband and I) For us it's like, why have them if I can't be with them all the time? Seems irresponsible. :noidea

I said above that if I couldn't have children I would at least have our Sunday School and VBS classes.
I'm not pushing anyone to have children, I'm greatly saddened at a world where children are no longer the number one priority.
I hate camping. I go with the kids, it's fun for them and work for me, but I had fun when I was a kid while the adults handled the work, and this is my way of repaying that. I wouldn't trade a single bug infested charcoal cooking rain soaked minute for a perfect vacation alone with my husband in Hawaii. I collect books and movies. If I had no kids it would have less meaning, now I buy books and TV shows I loved when I was a kid so my kids can enjoy them, it wouldn't have any meaning to just buy them for myself, so I just don't understand the "no kids" mentality. If you're worried about the population, the Muslims aren't. I guess they trust their god. Since our God is the true one, why can't we do the same?

[lisa]

I trust our God, the one true God, too. :nod I have full faith that everything is going according to His plan.

[TheOddBall34]

The key to a good marriage is love, and communication about anything. I see alot of couples that get a divorce simply because they can not compromise. There are people who get married for the wrong reasons, and that is why the marriage does not last. If two people love each other they will find a way to work things out. Yes kid's can be stressfull, and may seem like a burden at times, but it is love that holds a family together. If a couple chooses to not have kid's that is their deal. Kid's are not for everyone you must have lots of patience. Mostly two people in love get married to start a family together.

[professor h]

The key to a good marriage is love, and communication about anything.

Absolutely, and I think even more importantly a willingness and ability to see one's self and actions through someone else's eyes.

I'll tell anyone who'll listen: I learned a lot more about myself when I got married than I did my wife. She was easy to figure out because I had no preconceived notions about who she was. I came to know her for the person she is.

Myself on the other hand. I think a lot of people "think" they know themselves, but are unwilling or unable to see their own faults until the effects of them are thrust upon them by circumstance (marriage is just one example).

That's where communication comes in. In a good marriage, there is no shrugging off of another's opinion. My wife and I were very vocal (not always civil, tho...lol...)about what we perceived as unwelcome/harmful/hurtful behavior around each other. As a result, we've both changed ourselves for the better, I think, because of our love for each other.

In short, for a marriage to be successful, each spouse has to be willing to accept their own shortcomings and be motivated to try and overcome them.

[springfield]

I read it as the key to a good marriage is more in the shared responsibility way. Having children can be extremely stressful to relationships, and I don't think I know anyone (including my parents :lol2) who would say that having kids was a key to a good marriage.

The way you raise your kids if you do have them, sure, but just... having them? I'm with the good marriage is due to cooperation and communication, not reproduction crowd. :)

[Michelle95]

I skipped over a little but I just want to point out that God created Adam and Eve as the basic unit of the family...not Adam, Eve and youngins. The children came later as the blessings.

The spouse should be the number one priority to the other...including above the children. Granted a hungry baby is going to take priority for a short time...but, that spouse better be number one (right under God, that is). Why do you think so many marriages end in divorce once the kids are grown? One of the spouses put the children above the other....nothing's left and they're strangers to each other in 20 years. :ohno