Key to Good Marriage? Share Housework - children no longer as important

[tygerkittn]

I skipped over a little but I just want to point out that God created Adam and Eve as the basic unit of the family...not Adam, Eve and youngins. The children came later as the blessings.

The spouse should be the number one priority to the other...including above the children. Granted a hungry baby is going to take priority for a short time...but, that spouse better be number one (right under God, that is). Why do you think so many marriages end in divorce once the kids are grown? One of the spouses put the children above the other....nothing's left and they're strangers to each other in 20 years. :ohno


I agree with putting the spouse first, I just bemoan the fact that according to the article, children just don't fit in with the porn and hedonism of the modern lifestyle, society is no longer geared toward families and who does what chores is the most important factor in a marriage. If you're living Biblically you know what chores are yours.

God should be first in everything, if you put spouse or children ahead of God then losing one could break your faith.

[Michelle95]

I agree with putting the spouse first, I just bemoan the fact that according to the article, children just don't fit in with the porn and hedonism of the modern lifestyle, society is no longer geared toward families and who does what chores is the most important factor in a marriage. If you're living Biblically you know what chores are yours.

God should be first in everything, if you put spouse or children ahead of God then losing one could break your faith.

Perfectly agreed. :hug

[NewWorldOrder]

I have to disagree with you tygerkittn. The purpose of marriage is not for having children, they are a byproduct of it. When God instituted marriage in the book of Genesis it was so man would not be alone, so he created a help mate for Adam. There was no mention of children until after the fall, and they were kicked out of Eden. Many couples do not have children for various reasons, and they have successful marriages. My DH and I have two children, but we don't live our marriage for them, we live it for us and because we love each other we also love our children.

I agree with Lisa, you are alienating a whole lot of people because of the attitude you have taken. We shouldn't marry because we want children, we should marry because God saw that it wasn't good for man to be alone, and if God blesses you with children then that's a bonus. Husbands and wives are to love each other first, then their children, not the other way around.

[vhowell]

The thing that gets me, if that many of the media's so-called marriage 'experts' are on their 2nd and third marriages...

.I remember one in particular, the gal who used to be married to the "men are from mars, women from venus" book guy, who was on her third marriage and was trying to give advice.....I am on marriage #1, for 21 years now, (yea!) my in-laws are now on thier 54th year, and I would take advice any day from my in-laws more than these so-called 'experts'...........

[Leialoha]

I do not think that it is wrong for married couples to decide to not have children (by methods that do not have any abortive properties).

If it would be wrong, then it seems logical that it also is wrong for a couple with kids to attempt to limit the number of children they will have.

This would include abstinece at specific times of a month.

There is no scripture for this, so it shouldn't be imposed on anyone. I have friends who believe that for them, they will not use birth control of any type. God sees the heart --what motivates each person in such life decisions.

[TravisandJill]

I think many times people just look for things to judge another person for, instead of concentrating on their own lives...


A person isn't going against Gods will if they dont have kids, to suggest so is simply rediculous! There are so many other events to be obsessed about than what a man and woman choose to do within their married lives.

I have 2 kids, but I do not want any more...does this make me selfish? I want my body back to myself, I want to travel...and anymore than 2 would be too hard, I want to be able to go on a date with DH without worrying about finding a babysitter who will watch my 8 kids.

BTW my Dh helps me around the house all the time ( and I am a sahm), We do share chores and it works great for us...infact I wouldnt have it any other way

[Cameron]

Did the apostle Paul have any children?:scratch

I can see this survey as a by product of abortion. Abortion is the loudest statement made that says children are not important. So its only natural to conclude that once pre born children are considered disposable, so will post born children.

America is selfish. There was a time when a mother would give her life so that her baby could be born and live. But now abortion is justified partly by saying its o.k., if it is to protect the life of the mother.

[tigger]

The question nobody seems to be asking or answering is why the emphasis on sharing household chores?

A few years ago it was determined that in order for a family of four, two parents and two children, in Phoenix to pay their rent or mortgage, utilities, food, clothing expenses, payments and upkeep of a car and a credit card, a family had to average an income of 22 dollars an hour to make it paycheck to paycheck. Most couples today, both partners are working full time jobs. She is helping to provide the bacon, shouldn't he be helping to fry it? If she has to work a full time job, why should all the household chores fall on her shoulders? And for the record, I'm a stay at home mom of 2 wonderful kids.:thumb

[SummerSailing81]

I'm not surprised. One of my brothers-in-law and his wife made the decision not to have any children because they wanted to have material wealth instead. We were all pretty much shocked when they announced they'd prefer to have a home on the water, a boat, jet skis, travel, and be able to pick up and go at any time over having children. For me personally, this would have been selfish a decision. But, then I have a child. She has cerebral palsy and faces many difficulties in life and, yes, it takes a lot of money to meet her special needs (food, medicines, equipment), but I wouldn't trade her for anything in this world or any other. She's is an absolute joy in my life that no house, boat, car, or any other material thing could match. I feel my BIL and his wife have missed out on something wonderful and unique, but they seem content with their lives, so who am I to judge.

[tygerkittn]

OK, I think a lot of people read into that based on their own decisions, if you feel some sort of guilt then you need to pray about it, the point of the article is that that people no longer place an emphasis on having children because of their own selfish pleasures, such as porn etc. If you have selfish tendencies and you have children you get over it really quick, children change your life and force a new outlook on you, and our society is so wrapped up in "me" they no longer consider it to be an important sacrifice. The article said society is no longer geared to family and children. If you have decided not to have children, that's your choice, maybe a mandate from God, I don't know, but if you have residual guilt then try not to let it color your take on this. Family is disappearing, losing ground, under attack. Yes, it's nice to have nice things, but if EVERYONE decides nice things are more important than having children the human race will die out. Religions that have less free choice in the matter and find it less open to interpretation are still having children. There are two ways to bring believers to Christ, evangelizing and giving birth to them and working at raising them right. Those are the only two ways, if you eschew one way then be prepared to work much much harder on the other way.
I'm sure this is part of God's plan, but I find it a sad world to live in if this is any indication of the future.

Unless you decided not to have children so you could watch more porn or amass more wealth, I don't think this mind set applies to anyone here.