Key to Good Marriage? Share Housework - children no longer as important

[Biblenuggetlady]

This thread is concerning to me because I don't like seeing people who have chosen not to have children, made to feel guilt or shame. There are plenty of people who HAVE had children and shouldn't have. The decision to have children is no one's business but the couple and between them and God. Children are a blessing to couples who chose to have them and God blesses, but deciding to have children or not, is NOT a measuring stick of faith in God.

[tygerkittn]

OK, what about people who HAVE children? Strangers walk up and say "Wow, don't you know what's causing it?" etc, we're made to feel guilty about using up more than our fair share of resources, overpopulating the planet, etc, prime time is no longer safe for kids to watch because society is no longer safe for kids, period, we're mocked for homeschooling even though home schoolers do better academically, adn yes, this article is a reflection of the wider attitude, but that's not the problem, the problem is stirring up guilt in people who want to keep their figures (yes, mine is gone, I'll never see size 3 again) their money, instead of makeup and clothes I have legos and Barbies, and social lives, we can't afford to go ANYWHERE with kids because everything is $30 each and up, sports, aquairums, zoos, and amusement parks. Children are an inconvenience in society that keep people from being able to walk around nekkid and have sex on the sidewalks like they ought to be able to do.
I posted this articles because I thought it was extremely distrurbing, I didn't know people were going to rush to justify their childlessness, I thought we would all be lamenting that it's not a g rated disney kinda world anymore, that puts kids needs first.
Sorry. I'm sure God does not want ANYONE to turn their lives upside down, lose their figures, spend money, pay babysitters, and not watch r rated movies at home and sacrifice their own needs to bring a new life into this world and teach it to love and follow God. What was I thinking?
SO let's go ONLY bash those selfish people who use up resources and make everyone else look bad because they had children and it's hard, and it's expensive, and that arouses guilt for some reason in people who chose not to.
None of that was the point of the article or the posting, people just rushed to justify themselves and I look bad for defending the other point of view because it's the wrong point of view, society says so and so do ya'll/
PLease close this thread. It was very disturbing to me, and it was a reaction I totally didn't expect.

[springfield]

But... again, the article doesn't say people aren't putting their kids needs first, or anything of the sort. It says people think cooperation and communication, basically, are more important to keeping a marriage relationship working than kids. Kids stress a relationship. That's got nothing to do with the importance of kids. If someone asked what's the key to a good relationship, I don't think it's any surprise people don't respond 'kids.'

[tygerkittn]

But... again, the article doesn't say people aren't putting their kids needs first, or anything of the sort. It says people think cooperation and communication, basically, are more important to keeping a marriage relationship working than kids. Kids stress a relationship. That's got nothing to do with the importance of kids. If someone asked what's the key to a good relationship, I don't think it's any surprise people don't respond 'kids.'

The key to a good marriage was incidental, I barely noticed that, what got me was the part about people don't want kids as much anymore because they like to be free to watch porn etc. THat shocked me and made the rest of the article fade into the background, and that's the reason I posted it. I see it as a further decline of secular society's attitudes. I don't care whether people with or without children have better marriages, that depends more on the people themselves. The other part was the major red flag, it got hijacked by small talk about communication and whether or not to have kids, in my mind.

[springfield]

I understand your point better, thanks. :)

[trisection]

Strangers walk up and say "Wow, don't you know what's causing it?" etc, we're made to feel guilty about using up more than our fair share of resources, overpopulating the planet, etc,
Complete strangers really walk up to you and complain about you having kids? That's incredibly rude. I hope they have the decency to keep their voices down so at least your kids don't hear.

I guess there are inconsiderate people in all walks of life. I'm frequently pestered by my (mostly secular, and mostly parents) friends about not having kids. The annoying thing is that I can't really respond to them, because if I list reasons why I don't plan on having any, I find they get very defensive. I don't know why they're so insecure as it's plain they love their children.
I posted this articles because I thought it was extremely distrurbing, I didn't know people were going to rush to justify their childlessness, I thought we would all be lamenting that it's not a g rated disney kinda world anymore, that puts kids needs first.
IMO it was never really a g rated disney world, and societies that really put kids first have been few and far between.

Oh, and being free to watch porn isn't why kids aren't part of my life plans. :) I feel I have other things to contribute.

[tygerkittn]

Complete strangers really walk up to you and complain about you having kids? That's incredibly rude. I hope they have the decency to keep their voices down so at least your kids don't hear.

I guess there are inconsiderate people in all walks of life. I'm frequently pestered by my (mostly secular, and mostly parents) friends about not having kids. The annoying thing is that I can't really respond to them, because if I list reasons why I don't plan on having any, I find they get very defensive. I don't know why they're so insecure as it's plain they love their children.

IMO it was never really a g rated disney world, and societies that really put kids first have been few and far between.

Oh, and being free to watch porn isn't why kids aren't part of my life plans. :) I feel I have other things to contribute.



There are plenty of good Christian reasons not to have kids, I look forward to being able to do missions work someday when mine are grown, or maybe just adopt more.

[Biblenuggetlady]

If you're worried about the population, the Muslims aren't. I guess they trust their god. Since our God is the true one, why can't we do the same?

Again...those who have posted here who have chosen not to have children, didn't express guilt, but a couple of your posts implied that they did feel guilty and they were now justifying themselves. That is what I took issue with, and the comment above.

I agree it is disturbing that anyone would chose porno over children...but when the thread got sidetracked, I felt it was unfair to for implications to be made against Christians here that have chosen not have children to continue.

I've raised 6 kids...4 are grown and gone and I have two more that are getting there. Maybe a couple of mine make up the difference for those who don't have any? :)

[tygerkittn]

Again...those who have posted here who have chosen not to have children, didn't express guilt, but a couple of your posts implied that they did feel guilty and they were now justifying themselves. That is what I took issue with, and the comment above.

I agree it is disturbing that anyone would chose porno over children...but when the thread got sidetracked, I felt it was unfair to for implications to be made against Christians here that have chosen not have children to continue.

I've raised 6 kids...4 are grown and gone and I have two more that are getting there. Maybe a couple of mine make up the difference for those who don't have any? :)

That quote was in response to someone saying that having children uses up resources and overpopulates, to me that is a lack of faith issue. I trust God to meet our needs no matter how many kids we have. Why would a Christian worry about the world running out of resources? Muslims don't, and neither do Mormons and Catholics. I used to BE a mormon, and my husband used to be catholic, so please don't anyone start arguing about that. Please!

[buggaboo]

I believe that the most important part of a marriege is God. Than the husband and wife and then then the children. That being said, I have four children, and the reactions I get from poeple are unbelievable. People will really come up to me and ask me WHY I have four kids! you should see the looks my husband and I get when we go out. Most of the time I just laugh it off, but some days it really gets on my nerves. I think having more than one child if any is very rare these days. It could be financial (thats why we didn't have more than four) and thats understandable. It is just as much of a life chioce to have kids (and how many) to not have them.